Beatrice Plays Coy

My Disciples,

Beatrice stopped by today for some late morning catnip. It was the first time I had seen her since I discovered that she, Thomas and Mama Cat have been holding late night training sessions in the backyard. I said, “Hey B! Long time no see!” To which she replied, “Hey Leader Otis. I…uhhhh..I’ve been around. I’m not sure why we haven’t seen each other lateley…ummmm…weird, huh?”

Beatrice pretended that she hadn’t been keeping unusual hours in recent days.

I looked at Beatrice and said, “Really? You’ve been around? The is weird. It’s been fairly nice recently, so The Brothers and I have been spending most or our time in My Outdoor Domain. If you’ve been around as much as usual, I would think we would have seen you. Are you sure you haven’t been keeping a different schedule or something lately?”

Beatrice responded, “Errrrrr…ummmm…I mean, no. I guess we just must keep missing each other. Like we have bad timing or something. I…” She stopped in the middle of speaking as she was overcome by an enormous yawn.

Beatrice was trying to convince Me that she was keeping normal hours, but an enormous yawn betrayed her.

After she yawned I said, “Wow! That was quite the yawn! Have you been getting enough sleep Beatrice? Has something been keeping you up at night?” She nervously responded, “Uhhhhh…nope. Not me! I’ve been sleeping just as much as always and not doing any sort of strenuous physical activity after the sun goes down. Nope. Not at all. Ummmm…goodbye Leader Otis!” She then hurried off down the alley in the direction of her house.

I found it odd that Beatrice was being so secretive about her training sessions, but perhaps she is just really serious about the upcoming Catlympics. She probably thinks that if The Brothers and I don’t know about the training, we will be less inclined to train ourselves. I guess I’ll just let her think her secret is safe…but that doesn’t mean The Brothers and I won’t start doing some super-secret training of our own. This year’s competition is going to be fierce, and we shall be ready…

So Sayeth Otis

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Night Mystery Solved

My Disciples,

As darkness began to fall last night, The Brothers and I put a plan in motion to ensure that one of us could be in My Outdoor Domain to document what was going on in our yard when the sun went down. We decided that Brother Oliver should be the one to stay outside since he is the best at taking photos. As the light started to fade, Brother Oliver and I sat in the Outdoor Domain waiting for the Guardians to come and try to herd us in. Meanwhile, Brother Henry was stationed in the living room awaiting My signal. The Guardians arrived right on schedule saying, “All right guys…time to come in.” That was My cue, and I signaled Brother Henry with two quick, loud meows.

Mama Cat’s Training Camp- Domino Plays it Safe

My Disciples,

As Mama Cat’s Catlympic training camp continued, it was Domino’s turn to be instructed.  Instead of taking his place on the lawn, Domino jumped up onto a chair and asked Mama if she would mind critiquing his forepaw work.  He rooted his butt firmly in the seat of the chair, reared back and got in his ready position.  Mama Cat asked, “Are you sure you just want to do forepaw work?”  To which Domino replied, “Yes Mama.  I want to make sure I have mastered the basics of bird capture before I work on any fancy moves.”  “Very well…”, Mama Cat said, “…you may begin.  The bird handler moved the bird in Domino’s direction and his paws came up, ready to strike.

Domino wanted to work on his forepaw, bird capture technique. Mama Cat agreed to critique him.

Mama Cat’s Training Camp- The Training of Thomas

My Disciples,

As Mama Cat’s training camp continued, she had Thomas take a turn.  He took his place in the center of the lawn, but he got frightened as the simulated bird made its first pass.  He ran over and hid behind the leg of a chair saying, “Mama Cat!  It’s coming in too fast!  What if it hits me!?  What do I do!?”

Thomas was afraid that the simulated bird would hit him. He hid behind the leg of a chair.

Mama Cat’s Training Camp- Beatrice Takes Center Stage

My Disciples,

Yesterday we followed Mama Cat’s introductory demonstration at her new Catlympic training camp.  When we left off, Beatrice had just taken her mark. As the bird handler moved into position, it was clear that Beatrice was very nervous.  Her pupils were huge as she prepared to keep her eyes on the bird as Mama Cat had instructed.

Beatrice was very nervous as she took her mark. Her pupils were huge as she prepared to keep her eyes on the bird.

Mama Cat’s Training Camp- A Stinky Start

My Disciples,

Mama Cat held her first session of training camp for Catlympic hopefuls this morning.  Domino, Beatrice and Thomas all showed up on time and, as Mama Cat had requested, none of them seemed to be under the influence of catnip.  Mama Cat decided to start the session by giving the attendees a quick demonstration of her technique.

As the handler brought the simulated bird to life, Mama Cat said, “All right everybody, here we go.  The first thing you want to keep in mind is, always keep your eyes on the bird.  Things happen fast in the Catlympics, and you don’t want to find yourself sitting there wondering where the bird went while valuable seconds are ticking away. Or even worse, you don’t want to panic, mistake your own tail for the bird, and start chasing it like a dog!”

Mama Cat started by telling everyone to always keep their eyes on the bird.

The Word is Out

My Disciples,

Apparently, word spreads fast among the Limbo kitties in My neighborhood.  This morning I entered My Outdoor Domain to find Whisper, Domino, Thomas and Beatrice sitting in the backyard as if they were waiting for something.

Whisper, Domino, Thomas and Beatrice were waiting in the backyard this morning.

As I walked outside, all four kitties began speaking at once.  It was hard to follow what any individual cat was saying, especially Whisper since she has no voice, but then Beatrice’s voice cut through the din and I could make out the words, “Leader Otis!  Leader Otis!  Is it true?  Is Mama Cat now training Catlympic hopefuls?”

Before I could answer, I heard a voice off to My left say, “Yes, it is true.  If you wish to walk the path of the Catlympian, I will train you.”  I looked over to see Mama Cat sitting on top of the cement ledge that overlooks our backyard.

Mama Cat told the gathered hopefuls that she would train them.

Upon hearing Mama Cat’s words, three of the four kitties that had gathered meowed loudly and began to run around the yard.  One kitty, Whisper, sat still and silent.  Mama Cat said, “Now, all of you, go home and rest.  You will need all of your strength in the coming days as your bodies will be pushed to limits you never thought possible.  Oh, and also, take it easy on the catnip.  You will need to have your wits about you as you undertake this training regimen.”

With that, Mama Cat walked away.  Domino, Thomas and Beatrice, still chattering excitedly with one another, wandered off toward the alleyway to return to their homes.  Once they had gone, Whisper approached the wall of My Outdoor Domain and beckoned Me over.  In her airy, barely audible voice she whispered, “Leader Otis?  I don’t even know what the Catlympics are.  I was just stopping by to see if I could get some of that delicious wet food Your Guardians always give me…”  I thought to Myself, “If eating was a Catlympic event, Whisper would be a shoe-in for the gold…”  Then, stifling a laugh, I yowled for the Guardians of Otis to come and fill a bowl for My mute friend.  She mouthed the words, “Thank you!” and then spent the next ten minutes filling her mouth with food rather than words.

So Sayeth Otis

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A Proposition for Mama Cat

My Disciples,

After thinking long and hard on the disparity in the skills of the cathletes that will be participating in this year’s Catlympics, I came up with an idea.  I called Mama Cat over to My Outdoor Domain this morning and asked her if she would be willing to train the other cathletes and teach them some of her moves.  Her eyes narrowed, and she said, “You want Me to be a trainer?  But I want to compete!  It’s my lifelong dream!  I want to be a cathlete, not a trainer!”

I asked Mama Cat if she would be interested in training the other cathletes for the Catlympics. She thought I was saying she couldn’t compete.

I tried to calm her down and let her know that I was actually asking that she be both trainer and cathlete.  It’s a bit unprecedented, but it was the only way I could think of to give the other kitties even half a chance.  I also thought that training others might help Mama Cat take her own skills to the next level.  No matter what I said though, she just kept repeating, “I can’t believe you’re not going to let me compete!  I knew it!  I knew this would happen!”  I finally stopped trying and called in Brother Oliver for backup.

Mama Cat was no longer hearing what I was saying. She was caught up in the idea that she would not be allowed to compete. I turned around and called for Brother Oliver’s assistance.

Brother Oliver arrived and was able to calm Mama Cat down.  He told her that, of course, she would be a competitor even if she decided to say yes to My training idea.  He told her that I was simply trying to make the games more competitive because her skills were beyond any I had ever seen.

Brother Oliver managed to get Mama Cat calmed down. He filled her in on what I really had in mind.

After hearing Brother Oliver’s explanation, Mama Cat turned to Me and said, “Ohhhhhhh…I see!  I train the other kitties, but I still get to compete!  Why didn’t you say so Leader Otis!  I accept.”  Mama Cat then jumped down and ran back over to her house, presumably to fill in Cookie and Nacho on what had just transpired.  I watched her go, feeling somewhat befuddled.  Brother Oliver turned to Me and said, “Leader Otis…I can give you some training in how to communicate more clearly if you would like…”  I guess he saw My answer written all over My face, because he quickly turned and went back inside the house.  I felt completely satisfied with My communication skills.

So Sayeth Otis

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Mama Cat Continues Her Training

My Disciples,

Mama Cat stopped by once again to do a little Catlympic training.  She continues to prove that she will be the kitty to beat when the Catlympics arrive later this year.  She started off her training session with a picture perfect Catmikaze.

Mama started her training session with a picture perfect Catmikaze.

After landing the Catmikaze, Mama Cat spun around and prepared for the next pass of the simulated bird.  I could see she was setting up for some major air, and when the bird passed overhead she attempted to grab it with her Dragon Kick move.  She narrowly missed.

Mama attempted a Dragon Kick on the artificial bird’s second pass. She narrowly missed.

She seemed to be working he way through her usual repertoire, so I was shocked when she landed from the Dragon Kick, immediately spun in the direct of the bird, and launched herself while shouting, “Lion Leap!”

Mama Cat spun around after missing the bird with the Dragon Kick. She shouted “Lion Leap!” and launched herself after the simulated bird.

She nabbed the bird in her front paws as she came down from the Lion Leap, but she immediately let it go and darted back to the center of the yard.  Her tail twitched and her muscles tensed.  I knew it was coming.  Her signature move.  The bird passed over her head and Mama jumped skyward with lightning speed.  She roared, “Flying Squirrel!” as she caught the bird in midair.

As always, Mama greatly impressed Me with her signature “Flying Squirrel” move.

After landing the Flying Squirrel perfectly, Mama said she had practiced enough for the day.  The bird handler gave her some catnip and some scratches and retired into My Indoor Domain to see if the bird needed any repairs.  I’m seriously becoming a little worried that this year’s Catlympics is going to be a Mama Cat blowout.  There’s no other kitty in the neighborhood, including the Brothers and Me, that can compete at her level.  The rest of the kitties are going to need to step it up or stay home…which, come to think of it, is exactly where they should be to begin with. Unfortunately, their guardians apparently don’t agree.

So Sayeth Otis

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Mama Cat Blew Us Away

My Disciples,

Oh My gosh!  I held Mama Cat’s Catlympic practice session as promised, and I can’t believe what I saw.  She is an amazing cathlete!  She strode confidently into the yard at the assigned time, and took her ready position as The Brothers, Domino and I looked on.

The Brothers and I anxiously awaited Mama Cat's practice Session. Dom stopped by to watch as well. Mama cat moved to her ready position.

As the bird handler made the first pass with the bird, Mama Cat yelled out “Super Wheelie!”, and then she went scooting across the yard on two legs.

Mama Cat yelled, "Super Wheelie"and then went scooting across the yard on two legs.

I thought she had made a mistake, because at first she made no attempt to grab the bird.  But then she spun on a dime, zipped back in our direction and leapt into the air.  She shouted “Dragon Kick!” as she caught the bird mid-flight.  We were all stunned!  In fact, I was floored by the move.

Mama Cat flew through the air yelling, "Dragon Kick!" as she nailed the bird mid-flight.

She made a perfect landing, releasing the bird on impact and then pivoting around to make her next pass.  As the bird moved toward her, she again launched herself upward.  She grabbed he bird between her paws with a loud cry of “Catmikaze!”

Mama Cat again went airborne, crying out "Catmikaze!" as she flawlessly nabbed the bird.

At this point we were all speechless, but then I heard a voice nearby say, “That must be a trick bird or something!  I’ve never seen anyone pull off moves like that!”  It was Thomas.  He had arrived a few moments earlier, but none of us had noticed because we were riveted by Mama Cat’s performance.  Thomas crouched down, indicating to the bird handler that he wanted to take a look at the artificial bird.  The handler complied and offered the bird to Thomas.  He inspected it closely.

Thomas inspected the bird closely, because he believed it must have some special power that was allowing Mama Cat to pull off her crazy moves.

After looking at the bird for a few moments, Thomas seemed perturbed.  He said, “This thing is completely normal!  There’s nothing special about it at all!”

After inspecting the bird, Thomas was surprised to find that it was completely normal.

Mama Cat responded to Thomas by saying, “Of course it’s completely normal!  I don’t use any performance enhancing toys!  Watch, I’ll do my signature move without even using a toy!”  She then yelled, “FLYING SQUIRREL!” at the top of her lungs and went soaring through the air.

Mama Cat proved that she was not using performance enhancing toys by doing her signature move with no toy at all.

Thomas was both awed by Mama’s skills and a little embarrassed that he had doubted her.  He said, “Whoooooa!  Sorry Mama.  You definitely have crazy cathletic skills!”  He then raised one of his paws and said, “Props to you my feline sister…”

Thomas raised a paw and gave props to Mama Cat for being so awesome.

After that, Mama Cat said that she had done enough practicing for one day.  She thanked Me for providing the bird handler and trotted back toward her yard.  Domino, Thomas, The Brothers and I watched her go in respectful silence.  None of us could believe what we had seen, and all of us were very aware of the fact that the stakes had just been raised for this year’s Catlympic Games.

So Sayeth Otis

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