GO Readiness Drill Part I: All Systems Go

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here.

Those of you who have been Disciples for a few years now may remember that I was working on the ultimate mobile command post in case the Long-feared Dog Uprising comes to pass. I call it the “Guardian Outpost” because it utilizes one of the Guardians as its power source. The project was less than a complete success when I was working on it before, but I still feel like it has potential, so yesterday I decided to fire up the GO and run some readiness drills to see if it was still at least operational. I climbed into the catpit and went through my pre-launch checklist.

GO Drill 1

I climbed into the catpit to see if the GO was still operational.

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Many Posters, One Cat

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here.

The Guardians have been out and about in the neighborhood again and have discovered three new lost cat posters. At first, when Brother Oliver, Sir Thomas, and I heard this we thought “Oh no! Three more cats have gone missing!” As it turns out though, there were three different posters, but all for the same cat. The first poster simply said “Lost Cat!” and it had a photo of a Bengal kitty and a phone number to call if you have seen him.

Lost Cat Poster-1

The first poster just said “lost cat!” and had a photo and a number.

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I Think I Made A Bad First Impression

People and fur people who are Disciples of The Leader Otis,

It’s Thomas.

Sooooo… ummmm… I am kind of feeling a little bit embarrassed right now. Yesterday, The Guardians were interviewing a person that will be taking care of The Brothers and me when The Guardians are away for a few days. I uhhhh… well… I am really sorry to say that I sort of lost my stuff while they were here.

Thomas embarrassed

I did… I lost my stuff. How embarrassing.

Now, you are probably wondering, “How bad could it have been?” Well… remember how good I got at doing Mama Cat’s Flying Squirrel move? If not, here is a picture to remind you.

Thomas_flying_squirrel

This is me doing the Flying Squirrel move that Mama Cat taught me.

OK, now imagine me panicking, hissing as loudly as I can, running back and forth a few times, and then doing this move about four feet in the air, bouncing off the back of the cat caretaker as she was coming up the stairs toward me, landing at the bottom of the stairs, and then tearing off at full speed and not stopping until I was safely wedged into a pile of pillows in the bedroom closet in the basement. Yeah. That is how bad it could have been. To add insult to injury, as I was hiding in the closet Brother Henry poked his head in and said, “Dude… what happened? Did you see a 100 pound wiener dog or something?” I did not dignify that question with a response.

Thomas out.

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Sir T Is In Timeout

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here.

Well, we had to do it. After what we saw, there was no other option. We had to put Sir Thomas in Timeout. I mean… well… maybe I should just show you what he was doing.

Thomas in timeout 2

This is what Sir Thomas was doing.

Yep, that’s a catnip banana he has there. Brother Henry and I were shocked! Sir Thomas knows the dangers of the nip-nanner yet he still chooses to experiment with it! When Brother Henry asked him what he thought he was doing Sir Thomas said, “Ummm… I am just trying to channel the spirit of Leader Otis. Remember how much He loved these things? I thought maybe I could connect with Him by partaking in one of His favorite activities!” We’ve told Thomas time and time again about how bad The Leader’s nip nanner addiction got, but apparently the kid just doesn’t believe us.

Brother Henry took the banana away from Sir Thomas and I told him he was getting a timeout for his behavior. I said, “Sir T, if you want to channel The Leader, you’re going to do it in a way that is less intoxicating and more uplifting!” I then led him to his timeout spot.

Thomas in timeout 1

Yep, Thomas’s timeout took place on The Sacred Orange Pillow of Enlightenment.

Thomas was told to spend the next hour on The Sacred Orange Pillow of Enlightenment thinking about what he had done. Unfortunately, I think he had already spent quite a bit of time with the Banana before Brother Henry and I found him. Instead of sitting and thinking about what he had done, Sir Thomas sat and giggled for nearly three hours and then passed out. He woke up the next morning with the headache of a lifetime. Hmmm… perhaps he channeled the spirit of The Leader after all!

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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It’s Raining… Squirrels

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here.

This morning I jumped up onto the cat tree in the front window so I could keep an eye out for any suspicious canine activity. I feel like I’ve been a bit lax lately in my security duties, and I just wanted to make sure that agents of The Long-feared Dog Uprising were not taken advantage of that fact. When I looked outside though, all I saw was rain.

Rainy Day Henry 1

I wanted to make sure the dogs weren’t up to something out there. All I saw though was rain.

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The Tragedy Of EB

People and fur people who are Disciples of The Leader Otis,

It’s Thomas.

This is a sensitive topic, but one that I think is very important. Not many kitties talk about this openly, but as a relative newcomer to the phenomenon, I feel like the more we talk about this, the more likely it will be that we can find a cure. In case you do not know what I am talking about, let me show you.

Thomas EB 1

It starts out innocently enough. You want to be brushed and your Guardian does as you silently command.

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Thomas Is Changing

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here.

I walked into the living room a few days ago and Brother Henry called me over to him. He motioned to the couch and said, “Brother O! Check this out!” When I looked in the direction Brother Henry had indicated, I saw Thomas sitting on the ottoman at the end of the couch. He was sitting just a few inches away from the smaller Guardian and he was staring at her!

Thomas 1

Sir Thomas was sitting right next to one of the Guardians, and he was staring at her.

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