I’m Taking The Day Off

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry Here.

I just wanted to let you know that I am taking the day off. If anyone needs me, I will be in here:

Henry taking day off

I’ll be in here.

Yeah, so I’m just taking it easy today. Please send any Cult-related security concerns to Sir Thomas and he’ll handle it. Well, he’ll handle it as soon as he completes the training mission I sent him on. I ordered him to enter theoretically hostile territory (the kitchen) and bring me back some chicken bon-bons and a fermented catnip beverage. Please wish him luck!

So Says Brother Henry

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Thomas Was Up To Something

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here.

Yesterday, when I was using the “kitty facilities” at the bottom of the steps to Kitty Valhalla, I thought I heard the sound of a voice coming from up there. After I completed my business, I snuck up the stairs to investigate. As I neared the top of the staircase, I heard the voice again. It was Thomas. He was speaking in a whisper, but I clearly heard him say, “Yes, my minions, you shall be my army. Together we will stand strong against the untold legions of wiener dogs that are plotting against us even as we speak. When they come for us, we will be ready. None shall withstand our plush counterattack! The wieners shall receive no quarter! No mercy! We shall…”

Thomas suddenly fell silent as I topped the stairs and came into his line of sight. I looked at him. He looked at me. Neither of us spoke for a moment.

Thomas looking innocent

Thomas stopped talking when I entered Valhalla. We both just looked at each other.

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The Copycat

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here.

Yesterday Brother Henry came up to me with a big, silly grin on his face. When I asked him what was so amusing he said, “Brother Oliver, do you remember what Leader Otis used to do when He was first swept up in The Capture and came to live with us in The Promised Land?” Upon hearing that, I started to grin as well. I said, “If you are talking about what I think you are talking about, yes I do. He used to try to copy us! Like, if I was sitting on the couch, He would sit down next to me and place His body and paws in exactly the same position as mine.”

Otis and Oliver 2006

I remembered Leader Otis sitting next to me on the couch and trying to do exactly what I did.

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The Guardian Refused To Give Me What I Wanted

People and fur people who are Disciples of The Leader Otis.

It’s Thomas.

I really was not asking for much. All I wanted was to sit on the Tabby Tower closest to the couch, just above the Guardian’s head. Once every five seconds I wanted her to look back over her shoulder and give me Kitty Kissy Eyes. At that point, I would return the Kitty Kissy Eyes, and then she would look forward again. I did not want her to try to pet me. I did not want her to try to play with me. I only wanted those kissy eyes spaced precisely five seconds apart. I even made it abundantly clear what I wanted, but still she would not give it to me.

Thomas getting Guardian's attention

See. I clearly communicated what I wanted to the Guardian. How could she not understand?

Why the Guardian would not meet my simple request is beyond me. She even kind of laughed, like I was making a joke instead of a serious request. In the words of Her Majesty Queen Mama Cat, I was not amused.

Thomas looking unsatisfied

I was not amused.

Even though I only recently stopped running and hiding whenever I was out in the open and a Guardian looked at me, I still held the belief that the Guardians were very good about understanding what a cat wants and needs. In fact, Brothers Henry and Oliver have been telling me this ever since I was swept up in The Capture, and Leader Otis used to tell me this as well. After today’s events though, I am not sure what to think! Kissy eyes. Every five seconds. So simple. Give me what I want!

Thomas Out

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I Was Moved By The Spirit Of The Leader

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here.

This morning I was feeling very sad and missing Leader Otis. It has been 5 months since we lost Him, but I am still having trouble accepting it. I’m ashamed to say that this morning I was so full of despair that I turned to the catnip banana for comfort.

Oliver with banana 1

In order to drown my sorrows, I turned to the catnip banana.

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Sneering Sunday

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here.

Whenever whenever you mention wiener dogs around Sir Thomas, he gets this annoyed, sneering expression on his face. Honestly, Brother Henry and I still don’t fully understand our resident knight’s obsession with wiener dogs. I mean, why are they a bigger threat to The Cult than any other dog in the Long-feared Dog Uprising? Whatever the reason, Sir Thomas has nothing but disdain for what he calls “The most feared canine ground troops”.

Just this morning, I asked Thomas if he had seen any suspicious wiener dog related activity on his dawn patrol. He didn’t answer, at least, not with words.

Thomas sneering

This was Thomas’s response to my question about wiener dogs.

In honor of Thomas’s wordless answer to my question, I declare today Sneering Sunday. May all wiener dogs look upon Sir T’s sneering visage and think twice before launching a hilarious, stubby-legged assault on Cult headquarters.

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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Thomas Was Doing Two Things At Once

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here.

Yesterday afternoon I walked into the living room and discovered Thomas sleeping in a very weird position. It was so weird, in fact, that I grabbed the nearest camera to try to get a photo of him. Unfortunately, I’m no Brother Oliver when it comes to photography, but I did at least manage to get a shot.

Thomas upside down 1

Thomas was asleep in a very weird position. I managed to get this photo of him.

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