Charlie’s Consolation Prize

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry Here. I saw the whole thing! I was sitting on the cat tree in the front window when it happened! The Limbo Cat named Charlie from across the street almost caught a squirrel! I think it might have even been the squirrel that sometimes taunts me from the fence when I look out the window in the office. Anyway, it all started when I looked down at the walkway under the window and noticed Charlie hanging out there. I don’t think I knew I was watching him.

I noticed Charlie sitting on the walkway in front of the house. I don’t think he saw me.

Cookie’s Gifts To The Guardians

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here.

This morning, at Thomas’s request, I sat sentinel duty in the front window. He said he had seen a pale gray wiener dog with furless ears and a naked tail move through the yard during the night and he had been watching from the window for seven straight hours because he couldn’t be sure it wasn’t still out there. Now, he really needed a litter box break, but he was afraid the weird looking wiener would launch an attack the moment he left the window. Instead of trying to make Thomas realize that what he had seen was just an opossum, I decided to take the path of least resistance and stare out the window for a while. After all, just because there had been no wiener out there didn’t mean that some other nefarious agents of the Long-feared Dog Uprising might not be plotting nearby. Plus, I was planning on looking out the window anyway.

As I sat there looking for a wiener dog that I knew wasn’t there, a face suddenly popped up into view on the other side of the glass. It was no wiener though. It was Cookie. I quickly averted my eyes because, for some reason, Cookie always gets really angry when we look directly at her.

When Cookie appeared I quickly averted my eyes so as not to anger her.

The Luckiest Crow in the World

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Henry here. That crow would be mine. I would stalk him, and pounce on him, and crunch his birdie bones before he even knew what happened. I swear, I would do it.

I would have you before you even knew what happened, crow…

Someone Crunched a Real Bird

My Disciples,

Yesterday, when the Guardians came in from the yard, they were very upset about something.  I decided to follow them around the house and listen to their conversation, hoping it would give Me some insight.  From what I could gather from their dialogue, they had found a crunchy little bird in the yard that had, in fact, been crunched.  It was something called a “Ruby-crowned Kinglet”.  It’s body was riddled with small puncture wounds, and it’s bones were broken.  They sounded like they were 100% certain that one of the Limbo kitties in the neighborhood was responsible for the killing.  I thought this was completely obvious because, let’s face it, that’s what we kitties do if our guardians let us.

The Guardians found this dead bird in the yard. They were certain that one of the Limbo kitties had killed it.

The Guardians’ conversation fascinated Me.  I mean, I am driven by an overwhelming urge to crunch birds and mice and whatever else is moving and small enough to fit in My mouth.  When I was in Limbo, I tried to catch birds all the time.  There is no right or wrong to it in My mind, so I’ve never thought much about it one way or the other.  But the Guardians seemed to think that this little bird’s life had a great deal of value, and that his death was unnecessary and completely avoidable.  I could also tell that their anger was in no way directed at the kitty that had killed the bird, but rather at the irresponsible guardians that had let the kitty outside where it could kill the bird.  The Guardians also talked about all of the work they have done with birds injured by cats, and I heard one of them mention that he had written about this in the past.

The Guardians lamented the fact that many cat guardians think it is perfectly OK for their cats to roam free and kill their wild neighbors.  They claim that it is just the natural way of things.  All about the food chain.  But even I know that I am no wild predator.  I depend on the Guardians both to keep Me safe from real wild predators and to make sure that My hunting and killing urges are fully expressed and fulfilled.  And I really do feel like I’m able to fully express this part of My personality.  The Guardians constantly provide Me with all of the prey I can handle.  It’s just that the prey isn’t really losing its life when I crunch it.  It all feels the same to Me though.

When the Guardians make a toy move, it's just like it's alive in My eyes, but when I crunch it, nothing is really dying.

So, I get to be Myself to My heart’s content, but none of My wild neighbors has to suffer and die.  Plus, the chances of ME dying are also greatly reduced because I can express Myself within the safe confines of My Indoor or Outdoor Domains.  Sounds like a win-win situation to Me!

So Sayeth Otis

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First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics: Final Day- Leader Otis

Brother Oliver

Disciples of Otis,

This is Brother Oliver filling in for The Leader as He takes center stage in today’s Bird Slayer competition.  I can’t say anything about the performance of the previous contestants as I am one of them, but feel free to check out their performances in the earlier Blog of Otis updates.

Weighing in at 14.2 pounds, today’s competitor is a scrappy young tabby from the streets.  After being swept up in The Capture and brought into The Promised Land by those that would become His Guardians, this feisty feline founded a formidable new movement.  I give you, the incomparable Leader Otis!

OK, it looks like The Leader is starting off on the cat tree and, OH MY! He has attempted a one-pawed grab but He came up far short. Let's see what he does next.

The Leader has dropped down one level on the cat tree and He has taken another one-pawed swipe. He used the left paw this time and connected, but was unable to hold on. Oh dear...

Relocating again, this time to the floor, Leader Otis now appears to be attempting to use His Kitty Fu moves to subdue the bird. Again He has connected, but again the bird slipped away.

Ummm…Uhhhh…I think The Leader has frozen. His leg is outstretched but He didn't attempt to grab the bird as it passed by this time. I…huh…I'm not sure what's going on…

Wait! The Leader has taken a new approach. He has now jumped up and attempted a two-pawed grab…but he missed by a wide margin...

The bird is passing by again, and again Leader Otis has swung and missed!

And again!

Oh no! Again!

He connects! And…nope, missed again…

Now Leader Otis is attempting to catch the bird in His mouth like Brother Henry did…but He missed…

Hold on! Yes! Leader Otis! You can do it! Hold on! Errrr…I mean Leader Otis is now up on His tippy toes and He has grasped the bird between His mighty front paws. Will He be able to hold on!?

He's doing it! He has pulled the bird down and He has repositioned His paws to given himself a better grip. His grip still looks tenuous though. Oh…I don't know if I can watch anymore!

Yes! Yes! Leader Otis has performed a back roll and He now has the bird in His jaws! He has secured it with a double-front leglock and He has brought His hind legs into kicking position in case the bird tries to give Him any resistance. There's His kill face and 1, 2, 3…It's over! It's all over! Thank the Guardians!

Whew!  What a stunning performance by Leader Otis.  His final time is…oh…ummm…His final time is a very impressive 2 minutes 14 seconds!  Please enter your scores for The Leader below.  The scores will be tallied and we will report back to you in a few days on the results!

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics: Day 2- Brother Oliver

My Disciples,

After a strong effort by Brother Henry yesterday, our coverage of the First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics continues today with our second competitor.  Weighing in at 16.5 pounds, this clever kitty is also a major killa!  You know him as The Brains of The Cult of Otis, I give you The Wily Brother Oliver!

Brother Oliver has gone the relatively safe route of starting on the floor and…WOW! Right out of the gate he is busting out some amazing Kitty Fu moves as the bird makes its first pass!

It's a miss! As impressive as the Kitty Fu moves were Brother Oliver just couldn't bring down the bird. He's lost a little time, but he still has a chance to recover.

Repositioning in front of the door Brother Oliver has fallen back on the traditional two-pawed grab. Unfortunately it looks like the bird is slipping free before he can bring it to his mouth.

Oh My! Brother Oliver has just made a stunning leap back to the center of the room where he nabbed the bird by the head between his front paws! His grip looks solid! He may be able to finish it this time!

Taking no chances, Brother Oliver is using the handler's line to guide his mouth down to the bird's head. Though not considered cheating, this will likely cost him a few points in the technique category.

The bird's head is now in his mouth and he is putting on his kill face. Wait! It looks like he is trying to mimic Brother Henry's claw move from yesterday, but his claw has come up short!

Missing the bit of extra claw flair that he was hoping for, Brother Oliver has now thrown everything he has into his most intense kill face! 1, 2, 3…it's over! It's all over!

After a few false starts Brother Oliver finally brought the bird down, and with quite an intense kill face if I do say so Myself.  His overall time was 27 seconds, giving him a 10 second advantage over Brother Henry.  When the final scores are tallied, the kitty with the best time will be awarded an extra 6 points and the second best time will earn an extra 3 points.  But today’s scores are up to you, My Disciples so please score Brother Oliver’s performance below.  If you need a reminder of what each category is for, please check yesterday’s blog for the rundown.  Tune in tomorrow for the third and final competitor in The First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics.  It will be none other than…well…Me!

So Sayeth Otis

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