The Guardians Must Realize The Wiener Threat

People and fur people who are Disciples of The Leader Otis,

It’s Thomas.

This morning I decided to head to our Outdoor Domain to see if I could detect any suspicious wiener dog activity going on in or around our backyard. When I arrived at the Outdoor Domain I could not believe what I saw. The Guardians had added a whole new level to the observation deck! Brother Henry was sitting on this new level surveying his surroundings.

Multi-Level Domain-1

The Guardians had added a new level to our observation deck! Brother Henry was sitting on it!

I had heard that the Guardians always planned to add levels to the Outdoor Domain, but when Leader Otis started to lose His mobility they thought it might be frustrating for Him to have parts of His Outdoor Domain that He could not access. I am guessing that now the Guardians must have some understanding of the new wiener dog pawtomic threat we have uncovered and they have reinstated their plan for more levels to improve our ability to detect incoming threats. I was excited to see Brother Henry sitting so vigilantly on our new, high observation deck that I shouted to Brother Oliver to come see.

Multi-Level Domain-2

I shouted to Brother Oliver to come see the new, high observation deck.

Brother Oliver came running and when he arrived at the doorway Brother Henry turned to us both and said, “I don’t want to alarm you, but from up here I think I have detected some movement in sector Charlie Bravo. Brother Oliver said, “Ummmm… sector Charlie Bravo?”, and Brother Henry said, “Yes, Charlie Bravo… better known as Cat Butt. Did one of you just use the litter box in there?” Brother Oliver paused for a second then turned back toward the inside of the house and said, “I’m leaving.”

I went out onto the lower observation deck. I thought I could help Brother Henry watch for emerging threats while the current threat inside the house died down. As Brother Henry watched Brother Oliver leave he said, “If only we could harness the power of Brother Oliver’s bombs we would have the ultimate weapon to fight back against the dogs!”

Multi-Level Domain-3

I joined Brother Henry both to help look for threats and to avoid the threat inside the house.

Brother Henry and I stood watch on our respective observation decks for several more hours. We did not detect any wiener dogs lurking in the backyard, but we did see a pawful of birds and even a squirrel. Eventually, Brother Oliver looked toward the door and said, “I’m feeling a little hungry. Think it’s safe to go in there yet?”

Multi-Level Domain-4

Brother Henry was getting hungry, but he did not know if it was safe to go inside.

I said, “You might as well give it a try. You will either be fine and have a good snack, or you will feel like you have been punched in the nose by Brother Oliver’s butt. Either way, you definitely will not be hungry anymore.” Twenty minutes later Brother Henry was still sitting with me in the Outdoor Domain. I guess he decided he was not quite that hungry yet.

Thomas Out

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Filed under Daily Life

3 responses to “The Guardians Must Realize The Wiener Threat

  1. Sir Thomas: We have a packij to send you that will help you immensely wif yore reddiness training. Please emale us the best address to ship it to.

    Standing wif you in eternal vigilance,
    Buddy Longwhiskers/Carolina Cats

  2. Wow, we love your new outpost! You’re going to have lots of fun on that, I mean, you’ll be able to really keep an eye on things from there!

  3. msphoebecat

    MEWHAHAHA! We miss you boys so much! Poor Brother Oliver, he can’t help how his insides process food! We have the same issue with our Clove who can clear the neighborhood and has been known to literally send people screaming outside with her bombs!

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