Disciples of The Leader Otis,
Brother Henry here.
Yesterday Brother Oliver and I both wanted to nap in the same place at the same time. You see, there’s this ottoman that the Guardians put under a window right next to the TV. They also placed a Sacred Orange Pillow of Enlightenment on it. There is nothing better than laying your head down on the pillow while stretching out on the cushy surface of the ottoman, but only one cat can do this at once. Unfortunately, Brother Oliver arrived at the ottoman shortly before I did so he got the pillow. Fortunately, Brother Oliver’s behind is almost as cushy as the pillow so we worked out a compromise.
Our compromise was working well for a little while, but then Brother Oliver shifted his body a little bit. When he did I… heard something. I immediately snapped awake and said, “Brother Oliver!? What was that?”
Brother Oliver said, “I’m trying to sleep here Brother Henry! Why are you asking me questions!?” I said, “Brother Oliver, just tell me if that sound was what I think it was.” Brother Oliver said, “What sound? I didn’t hear anything. I have no idea what you are talking about!” But my nose was beginning to tell me a different story. I jumped down immediately, turned toward Brother Oliver, and said, “I can’t believe you did that!”
Brother Oliver sat up and looked back at me. He said, “Brother Henry, if you are implying what I think you are implying I am a little offended right now. I have never done THAT in my life! I am a proper kitty with good manners and I’m The Brains of this operation. Things like that are beneath me…”
Just as Brother Oliver was about to continue protesting my accusation Sir Thomas entered the room. Sir Thomas said, “Oh hey! There you guys are! I wanted to tell you about this huge spider I just caugh… wait a minute…” Sir Thomas sniffed the air for a second before continuing, “… did the Guardians put a new litter box in the living room? Awesome! I’ve always wanted one in here! Smells like you guys got to it first though…”
After Thomas’s remark I looked back at Brother Oliver with an expression of satisfaction on my face. Brother Oliver said, “I think you both need to go to The Bad Place and get your noses checked!” At the mention of The Bad Place Thomas lost his stuff and darted out of the room. I quickly followed him so I could calm him down and let him know that Brother Oliver was only joking. When I returned to the living room I found further proof that neither Thomas’s nor my nose had been deceiving us. Brother Oliver had fallen back to sleep, but his new sleeping position spoke volumes.
So Sayeth Brother Henry