I need to tell you something. This news is not easy for Me to share, and it will not be easy for you to hear. After much discussion with My Inner Circle and many, many tears from the Guardians, I decided that I should be the one to share it.
As you know, I have been struggling with unexplained muscle weakness for several months now. I have made countless trips to The Bad Place and have been tested from head to toe, but no answers have been forthcoming… until now.
We received the results of a test called a “muscle and nerve biopsy”. For the test, the good people at the Bad Place took a little piece of muscle from along My spine and thoroughly examined it in a lab. They found that I have what they call a “degenerative process” happening to My muscles and nerves. They did not find any indication that it was caused by any kind of infection or toxin. They also did not find any evidence that it was caused by an “autoimmune disorder”. Their conclusion was that the cause is most likely genetic.
What this means is that they cannot treat My problem. This degeneration will continue until the day when the Guardians of Otis have to make the hardest decision there is for a Guardian. They will have to decide when it is time. Until that day I know they will do everything in their power to keep Me happy, and comfortable, and surrounded by love.
I want you to know, My Disciples, that although My body is weak, My spirit is not. I remain committed to the mission of ensuring that all kitties are happy, healthy, and safely confined despite My waning strength. As long as I am able, I will continue to spread The Good Word, and The Brothers, Sir Thomas, and the Guardians will carry on in My name after I have departed.
So today is not “goodbye”, My Disciples, but it is an acknowledgement that our time together will be shorter than I had hoped. Let us make the most of whatever time we have left together, and let us all join as one to make the world a better, safer place for all feline-kind.
So Sayeth Otis