Disciples of Otis,
Brother Oliver here.
In recent days Sir Thomas has really been hounding (for lack of a better term) Brother Henry and me about our seemingly lackadaisical attitude toward the possibility of an attack by The Long-feared Dog Uprising. We really aren’t as apathetic as he contends, but there’s no convincing him of that. Just this morning he decided that we needed to do some readiness drills. He came up with some elaborate scenario where the LFDU sends in a bunch of wiener dogs (of course) and he single-pawedly repels the attack and takes a wiener prisoner. He tasked me with guarding the prisoner so he did not escape before we could interrogate him. I was less than thrilled with the assignment.
After assigning me to guard this dangerous captive, Sir Thomas left the room to “patrol the perimeter for signs of further enemy in-curr-sion.” I really tried to do my best to play along with his readiness scenario, but the captive was more comfortable than I had expected. I began to fall asleep on my hound hostage.
Just as I was almost all the way to sleep, I was jolted awake by a voice saying, “For fur’s sake! Can’t I count on you cats?” It was Thomas. He was sitting on the couch with a less than pleased look on his face.
At first I got all defensive, but then a thought came to me. I said, “Wait just a minute, Sir T… What are you doing up there on the comfy couch? I thought you were patrolling the perimeter! Thomas said, “I uhhhh… I thought I saw a wiener burrowing into this fleecy blanket. I, ummmmmmm… I had to come lay down on top of it in an attempt to trap the dog beneath it. Yeah! That’s what I was doing!”
I regarded Thomas for a full minute before deciding how to reply. In the end I just said, “Goodnight Thomas.”, and then I laid my head back down and went to sleep.
So Sayeth Brother Oliver