Wiener Watch

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here.

In recent days Sir Thomas has really been hounding (for lack of a better term) Brother Henry and me about our seemingly lackadaisical attitude toward the possibility of an attack by The Long-feared Dog Uprising. We really aren’t as apathetic as he contends, but there’s no convincing him of that. Just this morning he decided that we needed to do some readiness drills. He came up with some elaborate scenario where the LFDU sends in a bunch of wiener dogs (of course) and he single-pawedly repels the attack and takes a wiener prisoner. He tasked me with guarding the prisoner so he did not escape before we could interrogate him. I was less than thrilled with the assignment.

Oliver on wiener scratcher

I was less than thrilled with the assignment Sir Thomas gave me.

After assigning me to guard this dangerous captive, Sir Thomas left the room to “patrol the perimeter for signs of further enemy in-curr-sion.” I really tried to do my best to play along with his readiness scenario, but the captive was more comfortable than I had expected. I began to fall asleep on my hound hostage.

Oliver on wiener scratcher 2

The wiener was comfy and I started to fall asleep.

Just as I was almost all the way to sleep, I was jolted awake by a voice saying, “For fur’s sake! Can’t I count on you cats?” It was Thomas. He was sitting on the couch with a less than pleased look on his face.

Thomas on couch

Thomas was watching me from the couch. He was not pleased.

At first I got all defensive, but then a thought came to me. I said, “Wait just a minute, Sir T… What are you doing up there on the comfy couch? I thought you were patrolling the perimeter! Thomas said, “I uhhhh… I thought I saw a wiener burrowing into this fleecy blanket. I, ummmmmmm… I had to come lay down on top of it in an attempt to trap the dog beneath it. Yeah! That’s what I was doing!”

I regarded Thomas for a full minute before deciding how to reply. In the end I just said, “Goodnight Thomas.”, and then I laid my head back down and went to sleep.

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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Filed under Daily Life

13 responses to “Wiener Watch

  1. I think Sir Thomas has the more comfy spot. But I also know there is nothing more dangerous than a “sleeping” cat. Take heed all you wieners.
    You will not slip past any cat simply because his eyes may be closed.

  2. rhiannonpaine

    Cur-ses! With both of you asleep on the job, I hope that Brother Henry is keeping an eye out for the LFDU.

  3. There is a dog that moved in next door…only a wall away! I haven’t seen it but I have heard it…sounds bigger than a wiener dog. Any thoughts on what action I should take. So far I have missed a nap or two.

  4. mistletoeandhitch

    I wouldn’t worry too much Brother Oliver. It seems like you have that faux wiener dog under control. So, go ahead and take your nap. Sir Thomas will be in charge of chasing down the wiener dogs in his dreams.

  5. Well, who wouldnt be sleepy after all that training! MOL

  6. merbear74

    Thank you for the laugh this morning…lol.

  7. msphoebecat

    Weiner dog uprisings are nothing to be less than serious about– at least when a good nap is not in order first!

  8. Brother Oliver Thanks for demonstrating how to subdue an enemy and to prevent his escape. After his nap I’m sure Sir T will recognize your diligence.

  9. catsinwindows

    Sir Thomas may have a point. Wiener dogs do burrow.

  10. Sir Thomas knows comfy spots need the most patrolling. Wiener dogs like them almost as much as cats.

  11. At least your fake prisoner made a good pillow.

  12. Pingback: Jumble Spoiler – 05/01/14 (Happy May Day!) | Unclerave's Wordy Weblog

  13. MOL oh Brother Oliver ya cott Sir Thomas slackin off 😉
    Ya iz bery clever…..
    N Sir Thomas reelly?? A weener poochie under such a comfy blankie….silly kittehboy!!!
    Lub Nylablue n Sherriellen Mum too ❤ ❤
    Pee ess: Can me come over fer a nappie wif ya??

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