A Failed Attempt at Solidarity

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here. Over the past several days I have made an important discovery. The plastic collar that Leader Otis has been wearing is not, in fact, a high-tech listening device that He invented while He was at The Bad Place. My suspicions first arose when Brother Henry realized that the device did not seem to improve The Leader’s Hearing.

My suspicions were confirmed when The Guardians came home with a bag that contained a new collar made out of softer, more padded material and they switched it out with the plastic one. This, and the fact that whenever they remove the collar the stay close by and prevent Leader Otis from licking his surgery site, makes me think that this is the real purpose of the collar.

Otis in comfy collar

The Guardians replaced the plastic collar with one called a “Comfy Cone”.

So, the weird collar is not for improved listening, and Leader Otis did not create it Himself. This explains why He seems so relieved every time they take it off. Quite often, the first thing he does is give his ears a good scratch.

Otis scratching His ear

The Leader’s ears must get pretty itchy in that collar.

After taking care of the itchiness, He usually gets really happy. He’s still pretty loopy from his medicine, but I can see some of the old Leader Otis shining through.

Otis happy to be collar free

The Leader gets really happy without the collar, and some of His old self starts to show.

After discovering that The Leader is not very happy to be wearing the collar, I decided that maybe we should have a Solidarity Sunday during which one of us healthy cats wore a collar to show that we stand with The Leader in this trying time. We held a Solidarity Sunday for Thomas a while back, and it seemed to really help him.

I found Brother Henry in the living room, and I shared my idea with him. He got all excited and said, “Yes! That sounds great Brother Oliver! Let’s do it!” I then said, “OK. I’ll go grab the collar so that you can put it on…” At this point Brother Henry looked really nervous. He said, “Uhhhh, me? I thought you were going to…uhhhh… OH MY GOSH! LOOK AT THAT OUTSIDE! IS THAT A DOG!? I’m sorry Brother Oliver, but I can’t wear the collar right now. I have to stay right here and make sure that we are not about to be attacked by an agent of the LFDU!”

Henry at window

Brother Henry said he couldn’t wear the collar because he had to keep a lookout for agents of the LFDU.

I didn’t see anything out the window myself, but I know how seriously Brother Henry takes his security duties, so I didn’t argue. Besides, I was sure that Thomas would be thrilled to support this display of solidarity by wearing the collar himself since he had benefitted from a similar display by Leader Otis only a few months ago.

I headed up to Kitty Valhalla where I found Thomas loafing on The Sacred White Cloud of Eternal Comfiness. I explained my idea to him and showed him the collar I wanted him to wear. He was silent for a moment before saying, “Brother Oliver, I like your idea and I really do want to support Leader Otis after all the support He’s given me, but if you come near me with that thing I am totally going to lose my stuff. Seriously, I’m still dealing with demons you can’t imagine, and I can’t always control them. Putting that collar on me would turn Solidarity Sunday into Psychotic Episode Sunday. You do not want to see that.”

Thomas looking serious

Although he fully supports The Leader, Thomas seemed somewhat reluctant to wear the collar.

I agreed with Thomas that “Psychotic Episode Sunday” did not seem like something we wanted. As I turned to leave, Thomas said, “Hey! I have an idea! Why don’t you put on the collar?” It was a completely silly suggestion, of course. I mean, if I wore the collar, who would take the photo? I said as much to Thomas, and he said, “I can take it! I’ve watched you and the Guardians using cameras and it looks pretty easy!”

Before I had the chance to say, “Yes! Of course I’ll wear the collar!” I thought I heard a noise downstairs. I quickly told Thomas, “Ummm… That’s a wonderful Idea Thomas, but I think I just heard Brother Henry making some suspicious noises downstairs. I better go and make sure that the LFDU has not begun!” As I darted back downstairs, I thought I heard Thomas saying, “But I didn’t hear anything!” Of course he didn’t. He is not a trained security agent like I am. Silly kid wouldn’t even know what he was listening for.

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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28 Comments

Filed under Daily Life

28 responses to “A Failed Attempt at Solidarity

  1. Um, we think maybe an IMAGINARY collar might be a better idea.

  2. Maybe when the guardians take the cone off, Brother Oliver could wear it to keep it warm for him. You know, show his solidarity that way 😉

  3. Well nice try you guys. That was such a good idea but I guess no one really wanted to wear that collar. Can’t blame anyone for that. Too funny. Glad Otis got a nicer collar. Take care.

  4. Your heart was in the right place Oliver 🙂

  5. Nice try Bro’ Oliver, but I’m thinking Leader Otis doesn’t really want anyone wearing one of those things, especially himself!

  6. It’s so good to see Leader Otis going better with a more comfy collar on and also lying on his bad hip.

  7. mistletoeandhitch

    Maybe it would be better if you all shaved your rear ends instead? That would really show your solidarity! Or, perhaps, a symbolic show of solidarity IS the best way to go. Then we can all participate. Yes, Hitch and I shall start with a symbolic show of support by rolling in cat nip our huMom will provide. I bet many others will want to join in support of Leader Otis.

    Purrs to you,
    Mistletoe & Hitch

    • Now that is a GREAT idea M and H!!! I think I will go roll in catnip right now to show my solidarity!!! 🙂

      – Brother Oliver

      • mistletoeandhitch

        Bother Oliver, I believe that cat’s all over the world would like to show their solidarity with Leader Otis! Every cat in our house is willing to do his part.
        Rolling in nip to support the Leader! Yes, I think cats worldwide will embrace this cause!
        Purrs to you, ..and everyone!
        Mistletoe & Hitch

      • Whoo-hoo! A worldwide nipathon for Leader Otis! Purrs to you too M and H. 🙂

        – Brother Oliver

  8. Well, we would fail miserably on the solidarity front, since we wouldn’t want to wear that collar-thingey either.

  9. Aw, well, I wouldn’t want to wear that thing either.. I’m sure Otis understands. he doesnt like it either does he?

  10. Oh, Otis – you are in there – we see it in your eyes (sorry about the annoying headgear).

    • I heard the Guardians say He needs to wear it for one more week, Phil. He seems to be tolerating it as well as can be expected though. I think I might freak out as bad as Thomas said he would if they put that thing on me! 🙂

      – Brother Henry

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