The Inspection

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here. Yesterday afternoon I was once again allowed to visit Leader Otis with one of the Guardians present. The visit started out in a routine fashion with the Guardian removing Leader Otis’s sound amplifying device and giving Him some of that clear liquid medicine from a syringe. Then, the Guardian started cleaning The Leader’s litter box, and I walked over to see if He was in any condition to communicate. As I approached The Leader, Brother Henry popped his head up over the gate and said, “Agent O! Have you cleared this room!?”

Henry checking in

Brother Henry popped his head over the gate and asked me if the room had been cleared.

Brother Henry only calls me “Agent O” when I am on security duty. I wasn’t aware at the time that I was supposed to be on duty, but I instinctively snapped to attention and said, “No sir! Not yet sir! I am just now inspecting The Leader’s immediate surroundings!” Brother Henry said, “Good thinking Agent O! Once you’re sure the Leader is not in imminent danger, I want you to thoroughly inspect that room! I’ll be out here patrolling in case any agents of the Long-feared Dog Uprising decide to launch an attack while Leader Otis is incapacitated! Now get to it Agent O! The Leader is counting on us!” I got out one last, “Sir! Yes Sir!” and then Brother Henry was off on his patrol.

I turned and looked into the room. The first thing I noticed was a food bowl that I had never seen before. It was wider and shallower than any of our normal food bowls. I moved in closer to inspect it. Hmmmmm… it looked a little suspicious to me.

Oliver looking suspicious

This food bowl was new. It seemed very suspicious to me.

All of our other food bowls are narrower, deeper and made of ceramic. Why would the Guardians suddenly decide to use a wider, shallower bowl to feed Leader Otis? Maybe the Guardians hadn’t put the bowl here at all. Maybe it was part of some nefarious scheme of the LFDU! I looked back over my shoulder to see if Leader Otis was still resting comfortably. He was.

Oliver looking back at Otis

As I pondered the mysterious bowl, I checked on Leader Otis to make sure He was still OK.

Well, there was only one thing I could do to be sure that this bowl did not pose a threat to Leader Otis. I would have to put my own life on the line by eating the food to see if anything bad would happen. As I closed my eyes and began to eat, I thought I could hear something strange in between crunches. It almost sounded like someone saying, “Ma fud.” with a bad slur.

Otis getting up

As I risked my life to ensure The Leader’s safety, I thought I heard someone speaking.

Determined to eat my way to the bottom of the bowl to make sure there were no booby traps hiding under the kibble, I redoubled my chewing efforts. Again I thought I heard a voice through the crunches. Again it sounded like someone with a bad slur saying “ma fud!”, but this time it sounded closer and more insistent.

Otis Approaching

I tried to eat faster to more quickly ascertain the bowl’s safety. I heard the weird voice again, only closer.

Suddenly, I heard, “MA FUD!” directly in my left ear. I felt an impact on my left side and I was shoved away from the bowl. My first thought was that the bowl had indeed been booby trapped by the LFDU, but when I looked back at the bowl I realized it had been Leader Otis who pushed me out of the way.

Otis claiming food bowl

I was suddenly shoved away from the bowl. It was Leader Otis that did the shoving.

I was shocked that The Leader had gotten up and pushed me away from the food bowl. I mean, He used to do that to me all the time, but He hadn’t done it since He started hurting from His Art Thritis. At this point I realized that the slurred voice I was hearing was his. He was trying to say “My food.”, but the medicine the Guardian gave Him was affecting His speech. I told Him that I hadn’t quite finished clearing the bowl to make sure it was safe, but He just laid down next to it with a stern look on His face and repeated, “MA FUD!”

Otis laying by food

Even though I hadn’t finished clearing the bowl, Leader Otis was not going to let me back near that food.

I decided it was no use arguing with The Leader when He was in this state. Besides, there were still plenty of other things in the room that I still needed to inspect. I decided to check out the litter box first. The first thing I noticed was that the box was new. It was small and short, and it didn’t have a top on it like our Potty Pod 3000’s. It seemed harmless enough, but how could I be sure unless I tried it out? I decided to literally take one for the team.

Oliver in litter box

I had to be sure the box was safe. I would do whatever it took.

As I was finishing up my thorough inspection of the litter box. I heard Leader Otis laughing quietly. I then heard Him say, “Kibblesh fael crunshee…” I turned around to find Him laying on His side with His paw in the bowl.

Otis playing with food

Leader Otis was playing with His food. He apparently thought the kibble felt crunchy.

I continued my inspection and noticed a strange object plugged into a wall socket. At first I was alarmed. Was this some kind of device that would spray out an incapacitating vapor? When I looked closer though, I recognized the object as one that the Guardians often plug in when we kitties are feeling stressed. I remembered that we had them all over the house when Thomas was first brought inside. As I stood in front of it now, I felt a sense of calm wash over me.

Feliway diffuser

The object was not a threat. It was some kind of kitty calmer.

Just as the calmness started to really take hold, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. I immediately pounced on the unidentified object and began to repeatedly bite, scratch, sniff and lick it. Fortunately, it turned out to be a catnip fish.

Oliver with toy

What I thought was a threatening object turned out to be a very fun one instead.

As the catnip started to hit me I felt my consciousness begin to expand. I suddenly knew this room was safe. Everything was fine. In fact, everything was great! I was suddenly snapped back into the present moment when I heard a voice nearby say, “Bruthahr Olifffar… thas maffish!” I looked up to find Leader Otis laying nearby and staring at me.

Oliver and Otis by light

I was snapped back to reality by Leader Otis telling me I had His fish.

Fortunately, Leader Otis was leaning up against the nice, warm glow ball that the Guardians had put in His room. I already knew it to be safe because it used to be upstairs under our cat tree. The warmth from the ball made Leader Otis sleepy, and He drifted off before He had a chance to grab the fish. Frankly, I’m not sure if He could have handled the catnip on top of whatever else He had on board.

At that point the Guardian picked Leader Otis up, put His high-tech listening device back on His head and placed Him in His basket. I then departed with the Guardian and sought out Brother Henry so I could give him a full, unbiased account of my heroically successful mission.

So Sayeth Agent O

Operation Hipster

Visit the official Operation Hipster website to support Leader Otis!


Filed under Daily Life

22 responses to “The Inspection

  1. Leader Otis, sounds like he is feeling no pain. MOL. Too funny. But glad the room had a good inspection. Hope there was some fuds left for Leader Otis. Glad he is doing well. Take care.

    • The thing is, I’m sure if I had finished that bowl of food and discovered that everything was safe, the Guardians would have jumped right in to fill it back up. But there was no arguing with the Leader in his, shall we say, comfortable state. 🙂

      – Brother Oliver

  2. mistletoeandhitch

    Agent O, you do a truly heroic job protecting the Leader. Our huMom says you remind her of the Secret Service who protect the human leader. She was suitably impressed with your valor, as were we all. We were also glad to see Leader Otis was feeling well enough to remind you that the food was his. We all thank you and Brother Henry, and the Guardians too, for taking such good care of the Leader.

    Purrs to you,
    Mistletoe & Hitch

  3. ena

    Glad Otis is on the road to recovery. Fighting over the food bowl is a very good sign indeed.

  4. RC Cat: “We are greatly encouraged to see proof Our friend Otis is improving. It is also thrilling to see the guardians have chosen the lovely bowl. In Our experience We have found this type does not do that annoying slid across the floor – and the food is adequately display so it is easier to see the prime pieces and eat the kibble in correct order. (Foolish staff here mistakingly believes all kibble pieces are the same – dunderheads!)
    We also award a soft cheek pat for the Guardians for using the soothing ball. We have told the Molly that if she bothers the one in Our kitchen domain, the new year will start too soon. Foolish dog seems to believe Us when We say it’s the same as the NYC New Year’s Ball drop. Ah, it is good to be the RC! Cheery paw wave to Brother Henry and Brother Oliver. Carry on!”

    • Thanks RC! Yeah, the humans don’t seem to get the importance of meticulously ordered kibble consumption. When we eat it in the wrong order, we barf. Unfortunately we eat it in the wrong order a lot!

      – Brother Oliver

  5. Way to GO, Agent O!! The tail salute was an especially snappy move. It’s good to see Leader Otis Up (way up, apparently) and Around. We hope he’s moving even better than he was before his Hipsterectomy!
    Where would our Servunts find a warm glow ball? Kona would like one.

    • I’m not sure where to get one, but I have a lamp like that. I call it my Sargon lamp after that old Star Trek episode.

    • Thanks Katnip Lounge! He’s not moving better than before His Hipsterectomy quite yet, but we’re very satisfied with His progress so far. I never dreamed He would already be pushing me around! I think the Guardians got that glow ball from the magical place of wonders they call Ikea. They always seem to come home with amazing kitty accessories when they go there. Once, they even brought home a huge scratching post that they can sit on! They call it a couch, but we know better.

      – Brother Oliver

  6. Aww, Otis looks like he might be feeling a touch better? Playing with his foods in the shallow bowl, obviously intended for this purpose! And wanting his nip! I’m glad to see he can move around some! And I’m glad to see that you brothers are looking out for him so well!

    • He seems to be doing a little better each day, Andrea. The Guardians say that the real test will come when He is no longer taking the medicine. Right now that really seems to be helping Him a lot.

      – Brother Oliver

  7. Good work Agent O! -June Buggie

  8. We’re glad Leader Otis is feeling better…well, a LOT better thanks to the liquid in that syringe! We’ve got some of those thingeys plugged in around our house too.

  9. spittythekitty

    We are pleased with the accommodations the Guardians have provided the Leader. They seem to be in keeping with the needs of a temporarily incapacitated Royal. However, I must say I have my suspicions about the motives of Agent O and question whether or not he may be taking advantage of his position as Inspector to accrue benefits, such as extra kibble and catnip, to himself. I think his actions bear close scrutiny by the other two- and four-legged residents of Castle Otis.

    And as far as that creepy Anonymous commenter the other day? Pfft. Off with his head. So sayeth Spitty I, King of California and the Western Lands. One for all and all for one. It worked for the Three Musketeers, right???

    • Spitty! How could you even question that I have ever had anything but The Leader’s best interests in mind? How else could I ensure that the food, litter box and toys were safe unless I tried them for myself? 🙂

      – Brother Oliver

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