Brother Oliver’s Bad Place Bonanza

People and fur People who are Disciples of The Leader Otis,

It’s Thomas.

Last week Brother Oliver had to go to The Bad Place two times! It all started when I heard The Guardians discussing Brother O’s stinky breath. I tried to warn him. I told him, “Brother Oliver! You better eat a mint leaf or something if you do not want to go to The Bad Place!” But he refused to listen. So it came as no surprise to me when The Guardians put Brother Oliver in the portable kitty jail and walked out the door with him.

Oliver in kitty jail

I tried to warn him that he should do something about his stinky breath.

Brother Oliver was gone for a couple hours, and when he returned he told me all about his harrowing ordeal. He said, “Sir Thomas, I know most kitties are terrified of going to The Bad Place, but I was totally fine with it. In fact, I was so calm that I practically laid down and took a nap while I was there.” While Brother Oliver was telling his story, I was looking at photos that The Guardians had taken at The Bad Place. They seemed to tell a different story. One showed Brother Oliver sitting under a chair and he appeared to be stressed out and panting.

Oliver panting

The photos seemed to tell a different story about Brother O’s Bad Place visit.

When I asked Brother Oliver about the panting, he said, “Panting? No, I was laughing. I thought it was funny that other cats get all nervous at The Bad Place when I was so at ease there. It just seemed silly to me.” I just said, “Hmmmmm…”, and left it at that. The next photo showed Brother Oliver standing next to a scale. He looked a little bit upset and I asked him if it was because his fat butt had broken the scale. He said, “What!? Surely you’re joking! I wasn’t upset at all. In fact, that look on my face is one of pride. Just like Leader Otis, I have always been proud of my svelteness. The scale only confirmed that I am an extremely svelte kitty!”

Oliver next to scale

Brother Oliver said he was proud because the scale confirmed he was svelte.

There was another photo on the camera showing Brother Oliver receiving a treat from the good doctor at The Bad Place. I asked him if the doctor had given him a treat to help him calm down. Brother Oliver said, “Hah! That’s a good one. No, I think the good doctor gave me a treat because he thought I might be getting a little bit too svelte. He was probably worried that I haven’t been eating enough…” I was speechless.

Oliver getting snacks

Brother Oliver said the good doctor gave him treats because he thought he was too svelte.

While Brother Oliver was speaking, I noticed that his breath still stank. I said, “Brother Oliver? Did they look in your mouth while you were at The Bad Place?” He replied, “I think so… I’m not really sure actually. I was so comfortable with the experience that I sort of just spaced out the whole time. Why do you ask?” I said, “Because your breath still smells like a garbage pile. I really think you better do something about it before The Guardians decide to do it for you.”

Of course, he ignored me, so it was no surprise when two days later he was once again placed in the portable kitty jail and taken back to The Bad Place. He was gone all day, but when he returned his breath was nice and fresh. I asked, “So…. how was it this time?” and he replied by bopping me on the head with one of his paws. How rude.

Thomas Out

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Filed under Daily Life

11 responses to “Brother Oliver’s Bad Place Bonanza

  1. Glad Oliver had a good visit tu da bad place and has much fweshew bweff now.

    Luv ya’


  2. rhiannonpaine

    It seems that on trips to the Bad Place, Brother Oliver enters some kind of alternative reality … sort of like Leader Otis’s alternative take on the word “svelte.” But that’s fine. I have a similar alternative take on “chocolate = health food.”

  3. DJFuzzyK

    Brother Oliver, you’re such a handsome feline! Don’t let Thomas tease you about your size. Shiny coat, beautiful fur patterns, great personality…you’ve got it all. He’s probably just envious of your ‘svelte’ figure.

  4. randomfelines

    Well geez… Poor Sir Thomas getting bopped for his honesty.

  5. Sandy

    At least the good doctor at the bad place gave Brother Oliver a snack…and Brother Oliver had calmed down enough to eat it. Just glad the dental visit is done with!

  6. Glad you didn’t freak out at the Vet and got better breath 🙂

  7. It’s always something, Sir Thomas. Brother Oliver probably impressed all at the Bad Place with his handsomeness.

  8. MOL! Brother Oliver loved the vet so much, he got to go twice! We’re glad his breath is better now.

  9. mistletoeandhitch

    It’s a shame the Guardians aren’t as good at photography as Brother Oliver is. They seemed to have trouble capturing Brother Oliver’s ease and coolness. Maybe next time he should direct the photos. That way, we’ll be sure to see his true grace under pressure.

  10. Hope that’s the end of visits for a while and everything is a-ok!

  11. Yer a brave kittehboy Brother Oliver…me goez weeklee to da Vet’z so me iz a old (n me doez meen OLD) pro at diz!!! We hopez yer teefiex n breath got all fixed n no more Vet’z fer ya….leeve dat fer me to do 😉
    Nylablue =^,,^=

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