Sir Thomas’s Mew Year Revenge

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here.

Last night was a bit rough. The humans in our neighborhood decided to celebrate Mew Year’s Eve by setting off what sounded like 1,000 pound bombs, or possibly low-yield nuclear devices. It started just after sunset and continued until about 12:30 am. Every time one we heard one of those explosions we thought the world was ending. Sir Thomas was especially frightened by the noise, and he spent a lot of the night running from one hiding spot to the next. He had recovered by this morning though, and as his fear dissipated it was replaced by a driving need to get back at those who had tormented him during the night. To meet that need, Sir Thomas came up with a plan.

Because they were setting off explosions until the wee hours of the morning, Sir Thomas deduced that the culprits must be attempting to sleep late today. So, just before sunrise Sir T went out into our Outdoor Domain and put his plan in motion. He began yelling “Happy Mew Year!” as loudly as he could. He did this over and over and over, and I’ve never heard a kitty yell so loud.

Thomas went out into the Outdoor Domain and began yelling “Happy Mew Year!” very loudly.

I’m Not Speaking to Brother Oliver

My Disciples,

I knew it! I knew I had heard a camera shutter and kitty laughter. I should have known Brother Oliver would be behind it. Of course, now that he posted that photo of Me, he is all nervous that I’m going to do something to get revenge. Not that I have a history of doing that or anything. Anyway, for now I’m just not speaking to Brother Oliver.

I am currently not speaking to Brother Oliver.

It’s kind of funny, really, watching Brother Oliver hang around, sweating what I might do. I’m not sure he slept at all last night, but I’ve been sleeping very well. Again, I’m not saying I’m going to do anything to get Brother Oliver back or anything. Hmmmm… but I’m also not saying that I’m not.

I’m sleeping very well. Brother Oliver, not so much.

So who knows. Maybe I’ll do nothing, or maybe I’ll wait a month and do something when Brother Oliver least expects it. Nah, as The Leader, I should just set a good example and forgive and forget, right? Well, we’ll see…

So Sayeth Otis

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The Mighty Paw of Justice

My Disciples,

You know I am a patient and forgiving Leader, but after three consecutive days of Brother Oliver calling Me the Tail Terrorist, I finally had enough. This morning I discovered Brother Oliver sleeping on the cat scratcher by the back door. Using My advanced skills in The Art of Sneaky, I crept up to him. I then let out a blood-curdling yowl and smote him with My Mighty Paw of Justice!

Catching him completely by surprise, I smote Brother Oliver with My Mighty Paw of Justice!

Feeling the force of My blow, Brother Oliver let out a sound that was a confusing mix of a yowl and a hiss. He then jumped to his feet and staggered clumsily off to the living room. I found him there over an our later, laying on the floor and still reeling from justice he had been dealt.

Brother Oliver was still knocked silly over an hour after I hit him with My Mighty Paw of Justice.

When I entered the room, Brother Oliver said, “Leader Otis? Is that you? Wha… what happened?” I replied, “You taunted Me one too many times Brother Oliver. That is what happened.” Then I walked away. As I exited the room though, I thought I heard Brother Oliver say softly, “Wow! It’s like You’re some kind of Head Hammerer!” I chose to ignore it.

So Sayeth Otis

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No More Leniency for Brother Oliver

My Disciples,

As you know, Brother Oliver has been having a little photography fun at My expense in the last few days. Although I was annoyed with him, I was not yet ready to take action to correct his behavior. Well, today that has all changed. Brother Henry told Me that he and Brother Oliver were sitting on the cat tree in the front window this morning and Brother Oliver was bragging about how he had tricked Me twice. He was even having a good laugh about it!

Brother Henry told Me that Brother Oliver was bragging and laughing about the tricks he played on Me.

While I usually do believe that revenge is a dish best served cold, this insolence by Brother Oliver cannot stand. I think, just this once, I shall have to serve Brother Oliver a big, steaming plate of piping hot revenge! Then we shall see who has the last laugh.

So Sayeth Otis

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Brother Oliver Thought I Was Out To Get Him

My Disciples,

Sorry I haven’t addressed you in a few days, but I was busy searching for Brother Oliver.  I was afraid he might be missing because I hadn’t seen him since the day we kept bumping into one another by pure coincidence.  I finally found him this morning, fast asleep under the couch.  When I woke him up he let out a loud scream and then looked at Me as if he thought I was going to massacre him!  Can you imagine!?  Innocent little old Me!?  I was extremely puzzled by his reaction.

I don't know why Brother Oliver screamed when he saw Me. I am an innocent and pure little kitty.

I asked Brother Oliver why he was so jumpy, and he said that he thought I was going to do something awful to him to get revenge for the joke that he played on Me.  He said that the way he kept running into Me around the house a few days ago and the skull pumpkin I had left in My Outdoor Domain had led him to believe this.

I laughed and told him that it was merely coincidence that we kept bumping into each other the other day.  I also told him that I had no idea how that pumpkin had gotten into My Outdoor Domain.  I could only speculate that the Guardians must have left it there.

Seeming relieved, Brother Oliver said, “Really!?  So, you’re not out to get me then!?”  I laughed again and said, “Of course not Brother Oliver!  Why would I be out to get you?  Just because you played a sneaky trick on Me and scared Me half to death?  Nah.  I’m not out to get you.  I mean…if I was out to get you, don’t you think I’d come up with something better than staring at you or leaving strange pumpkins lying around?”

Brother Oliver laughed nervously and said, “I guess you’re right…I…wait…what do you mean ‘something better’?”  “Nothing.” I said as I turned and walked away, leaving Brother Oliver to ponder our conversation.

You should never mess with The Leader.

Yeah, so maybe I was playing mind games with Brother Oliver the other day.  And maybe, just maybe I was able to convince the Guardians to put that skull pumpkin in My Outdoor Domain.  Or maybe not.  Who knows?  Certainly not Me.  After all, I’m just an innocent kitty doing My best to help out My feline brothers and sisters.  Just an innocent kitty who may have picked up a bit of an edge spending the first year of his life on the streets.  Maybe…

So Sayeth Otis

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I Can’t Keep This Up

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver Here.  I continued to hide from Leader Otis yesterday for fear that He was planning to do something terrible to me to get revenge for the prank I played.  The Guardians inadvertently provided me with the ultimate hiding place when they unpacked a box that was left on our doorstep.  The box had something that was wrapped in a bunch of paper, and the Guardians left the paper in the middle of the room.  I crawled under it and laid still, barely even daring to breathe.

The Guardians inadvertently provided me with the ultimate hiding spot when they unpacked a box.

At some point during the day, I heard Leader Otis calling my name.  He walked into the living room and said, “Brother Oliver?  Are you in here?”  And then He walked right by my hiding place.  I held my breath as He passed by, and I heard Him mutter to Himself, “I wonder where He could be?”  But He didn’t find me.  He continued on to the kitchen and I heard His footsteps fading in the distance.

I held my breath as Leader Otis walked right by me, but He didn't find me.

I don’t think I can keep doing this.  I’m tired, I’m hungry and I’m at my wit’s end.  I feel like I’m just barely staying one step ahead of impending doom, and I’m jumping at shadows.  As funny as the joke I played on Leader Otis was, I’m beginning to think that it might not have been worth all the fear and stress that I have been living with ever since.  I’m beginning to think that maybe I should just come out of hiding and take my medicine.

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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This Can’t Be Good

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here again.  I managed to avoid Leader Otis most of the day yesterday.  Whatever He is planning to get revenge for my prank on Him, I don’t want to give Him the opportunity to do it.  But things have taken a bizarre twist.  Yesterday afternoon I snuck into The Leader’s Outdoor Domain when I knew He was in sleeping on the bed.  I laid down on the little deck out there and, exhausted from being on edge for days, fell fast asleep.  When I woke up, I turned to go inside the house and was stunned by what I found sitting in my path!

I awoke to find a strange object between me and the door.

It was a white pumpkin with what looked like a skull carved in it.  I knew it must have been left out there by Leader Otis.  I mean, I played a joke on Him with Jack O’lantern who is a pumpkin.  It only makes sense that Leader Otis would try to get me back by freaking me out with another pumpkin.  But where did He get this pumpkin and how did He move it outside while I was sleeping?  Most puzzling of all, what could the skull possibly mean?  Is He planning something gruesome to get me back?

I don’t know what it really means, but one thing’s for sure, it can’t be good.  I’m going to continue to watch my back…

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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I Don’t Know What’s Going On!

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here.  Well, it’s been four days now since I played that prank on Leader Otis, and He still has not exacted his revenge.  I feel like He is planning something though, but I don’t know what!  I’m kind of freaking out here!  Yesterday it seemed like wherever I went in the house He was there.  I went downstairs to use the Potty Pod and as I was coming back up the stairs Leader Otis was sitting at the top staring at me!

When I walked up the stairs after using the Potty Pod, Leader Otis was sitting at the top staring at me.

I asked what He was doing and He just said, “Nothing.” and kept staring.  So I went around Him and headed off toward the living room.  But when I got to the living room Leader Otis was already there. He was sitting on top of Silver Rock and again He was staring at me!

When I got to the living room Leader Otis was already there. He was sitting on Silver Rock and staring at me.

Again I asked Him what He was doing and again He replied, “Nothing.”  I was starting to to panic just a little bit so I quickly exited the living room and headed for the safe relaxing refuge of Kitty Valhalla.  As I turned the corner in the hallway and began to climb the stairs to Kitty Valhalla I looked up and stopped dead in my tracks.  Leader Otis was sitting at the top of the stairs.  He was staring at Me again and now His eyes looked slightly crazy.

When I tried to retreat to Kitty Valhalla, Leader Otis was waiting at the top of the stairs. He looked a little crazy and He was staring at me.

I didn’t say anything.  I just turned around and ran back down the stairs and into the bedroom.  I laid on the bed for at least an hour, still shaken and not knowing if some horrible fate was about to befall me.  Eventually, I must have drifted off, but I was suddenly awakened by the feeling of hot breath on my face.  When I opened my eyes I was stricken with terror by what I saw!

I must have fallen asleep, but I was awakened by the feeling of hot breath on my face. This is what I saw when I opened my eyes.

I screamed and ran out of the bedroom.  I ran down the hallway and assumed a defensive position in a small box with my back to the wall.

I was terrified and didn't know what to do, so I assumed a defensive position in a box.

I sat in that box for more than four hours until the Guardians came home.  At that time Leader Otis came walking out of the bedroom to greet them and was acting normal again.  He looked at me and asked, “Brother Oliver?  What are you doing in that box?”, and then He simply walked away.  I don’t know what is happening here, but I have a really bad feeling of impending doom…

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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I Think I Might Be In Trouble

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver

Brother Oliver here.  I’ve been completely paranoid for the past two days waiting for Leader Otis to exact His revenge for the prank Jack O’lantern and I played on Him.  So far He’s been acting as if nothing happened, and  It’s a bit unnerving to say the least.  This Morning I was sleeping in the basket on top of Silver Rock when I was suddenly awakened by an unexpected weight on top of me.  It was Leader Otis, and I was jerked awake just in time for Him to yawn right in my face.

As I was sleeping in the basket on top of Silver Rock, I was rudely awakened by Leader Otis laying on top of me. He yawned in my face.

Of course, yawns are contagious, so I ended up succumbing to an overwhelming urge to yawn myself.  Leader Otis yawned again and so did I.  The Yawn bounced back and forth between us for what seemed like 10 minutes or more.

Leader Otis's yawn made me yawn, and then we both started yawning uncontrollably. I thought it would never end.

Finally the yawning stopped and Leader Otis drifted down into sleep.  Just as I was falling back to sleep myself, I felt something pressing against my chin.  It was very uncomfortable and every once in awhile it gave me a sharp prick of pain.  I opened my eyes and realized that Leader Otis had placed His paw right under my chin.  Every time I started to drift off and my head started to drop, one of His claws would dig in and snap me back to consciousness.

Leader Otis had His paw stuck up under my chin. Whenever my head dropped, His claws would dig into me.

It seemed like Leader Otis was doing this unconsciously…but was He?  Or was this some form of subtle psychological game He was playing with me?  I was already on edge before this, and now I am also sleep deprived.  I just don’t know what to think or what to expect next.  One thing is for sure, I wish that I never would have played that joke on Leader Otis.  As funny as it was, it certainly wasn’t worth all the paranoia I am feeling now!

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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