Tag Archives: poop

Pooper Bowl Sunday Is Here Again!

My Disciples,

I’m so excited!  It’s Pooper Bowl Sunday again!  We had a big Pooper Bowl performance by Brother Oliver last year, and I honestly don’t think we can top it. So I have included it below, in it’s entirety, for all to behold. But first I should remind you of what this day is all about.

Pooper Bowl Sunday is the day we acknowledge one of the least glamorous aspects of being a responsible cat Guardian.  As a cat Guardian, you should expect to be dealing with our poo and pee on a regular basis.  Irresponsible guardians let their kitties roam in Limbo, spreading their duty far and wide for others to clean up.  I have spoken of the potential consequences of this in past blogs.  It has even been covered in the Seattle news. Our duty is serious business, so please do your duty and clean up our duty! And now, Brother Oliver.

In honor of Pooper Bowl Sunday, Brother Oliver has agreed to give a demonstration of what the “Big Game” is all about.  Brother O is the picture of professionalism as he takes his position on the field.

Brother O Takes the Field

A true professional in action. Brother O takes his position on the field.

The stakes are high, but Brother Oliver will not be rattled.  He has a job to do and he is determined to get it done.  You can see the look of intense concentration as he puts on his meanest game face.

Brother Oliver puts on his game face.

Brother Oliver focuses all his attention on the big play. He puts on his meanest game face.

Even with the pressure of the whole world watching, Brother Oliver will not be shaken.  With an incredible display of feline physical prowess, he bears down and puts one right through the uprights!  As spectacular as the action is, the camera crew felt it best to cut to commercial during the game-winning play.  When they returned to the show Brother Oliver was midway through his victory dance.

Brother O Victory Dance

The camera crew cut away during the “touchdown”. When they returned Brother O was performing his victory dance.

The victory dance is truly breathtaking.  Brother Oliver turns left and right, waving his paws and tearing up the turf.  In the process he buries the “ball”.  He then exits the field victorious, pausing to strike a triumphant pose before he runs off to hit the showers.

Brother Oliver's Triumphant Pose

Brother O, his head held high, leaves the field in triumph.

And that, My Disciples, is how it is done.  After the Big Game, the grounds crew cleans and maintains the field so it will be ready for the next match.  The athletes can only perform at their best on a well maintained field.  If the field isn’t properly maintained, they may begin to organize their own pick-up games on makeshift fields of their choosing.  They don’t like this, nor do the spectators, so it’s very important that the grounds crew is competent and reliable.

So there you have it!  Enjoy your Pooper Bowl Sunday and make sure you keep both your athletes and their field of play in tip-top shape!

So Sayeth Otis

Cult of Otis Store

Cult of Otis shirts, posters, mugs, stickers and more!

12 Comments

Filed under Daily Life, The Good Word

Outside the Box

My Disciples,

I am outraged!  I have witnessed something that no civilized kitty should ever have to witness!  I have seen a horror that cannot be unseen.  I walked into the closet and there it was on the floor.  I froze when I saw it, unable to believe My own eyes.  It was…well…see for yourself!

Mystery Poo

This is what I saw! On the closet floor!!!

Poo!  It was poo!  And it was where it absolutely does NOT belong!  Because it was so unbelievable, I thought that maybe someone was playing a joke on Me.  I had to investigate more closely to be sure it really was what I thought it was.

Otis sniffing poo

I had to make sure it really was what I thought it was. One sniff was all it took to confirm what My eyes were already telling Me.

I recoiled in disgust, and called for Brother Oliver.  He is, after all, the most studious kitty in our household when it comes to litter box use and cleanup.  He entered the room, gasped and then immediately investigated the poo himself.

Oliver investigating poo

Brother Oliver gasped when he saw the poo, and then moved in to confirm the poo sighting.

As Brother Oliver was investigating, I asked him if he thought this could be the work of Brother Henry, or if possibly a different poopetrator had snuck into the house from outside.  Brother Oliver considered these questions for a moment, and then he turned to Me with an odd look on his face.  He said, “Leader Otis, I’m not sure who did this horrific thing, but my instincts tell me that whoever it is he or she is a very creative kitty.”  I asked him what he meant, and he continued, “Well, just think about it.  This is someone who is not constrained by normal conventions.  They obviously question feline societal norms and attempt to push boundaries.  In short, they aren’t afraid…” At this point he paused for a moment, and I thought I saw a hint of mischievousness behind his eyes before he exclaimed, “TO POOP OUTSIDE THE BOX!”  He then burst into laughter.

I was not amused by Brother Oliver’s casual attitude to this affront to the high standards of hygiene that I demand in My Indoor Domain.  I think he detected My annoyance because he quickly departed; although he was still giggling as he did so.  I plopped down on the floor and glared at the offending poopage, wondering what to do next.

Otis glaring at poo

I plopped down and stared at the errant poo after Brother Oliver left. I had no idea what to do about it.

Eventually, the Guardians came home.  When they did, the thought occurred to Me that if they walked into the closet and saw Me staring at the poo, they might think was the “free-thinker”, so to speak.  So I did the responsible thing.  I got the heck out of there and hid in the shadows by the furnace.  As the Guardian entered the closet, I silently slipped by the door and ran upstairs.  As I retreated, I could hear the Guardian say, “What the…”, and then I topped the stairs, dashed through the kitchen, jumped up on the couch, and settled in as if I had been there all along.  The funny thing is, Brother Oliver was already there when I arrived, and his tail-end smelled a little too strongly of poo…

So Sayeth Otis

Cult of Otis Store

Cult of Otis shirts, posters, mugs, stickers and more!

14 Comments

Filed under Daily Life

It’s Pooper Bowl Sunday!

My Disciples,

I’m so excited!  Pooper Bowl Sunday is here!  Pooper Bowl Sunday is the day we acknowledge one of the least glamorous aspects of being a responsible cat Guardian.  As a cat Guardian, you should expect to be dealing with our poo and pee on a regular basis.  Irresponsible guardians let their kitties roam in Limbo, spreading their duty far and wide for others to clean up.  I have spoken of the potential consequences of this before.  It has even been covered in the Seattle news recently when the irresponsible guardian of a cat named Duke didn’t keep him and his dookie properly contained.

In honor of Pooper Bowl Sunday, Brother Oliver has agreed to give a demonstration of what the “Big Game” is all about.  Brother O is the picture of professionalism as he takes his position on the field.

Brother O Takes the Field

A true professional in action. Brother O takes his position on the field.

The stakes are high, but Brother Oliver will not be rattled.  He has a job to do and he is determined to get it done.  You can see the look of intense concentration as he puts on his meanest game face.

Brother Oliver puts on his game face.

Brother Oliver focuses all his attention on the big play. He puts on his meanest game face.

Even with the pressure of the whole world watching, Brother Oliver will not be shaken.  With an incredible display of feline physical prowess, he bears down and puts one right through the uprights!  As spectacular as the action is, the camera crew felt it best to cut to commercial during the game-winning play.  When they returned to the show Brother Oliver was midway through his victory dance.

Brother O Victory Dance

The camera crew cut away during the “touchdown”. When they returned Brother O was performing his victory dance.

The victory dance is truly breathtaking.  Brother Oliver turns left and right, waving his paws and tearing up the turf.  In the process he buries the “ball”.  He then exits the field victorious, pausing to strike a triumphant pose before he runs off to hit the showers.

Brother Oliver's Triumphant Pose

Brother O, his head held high, leaves the field in triumph.

And that, My Disciples, is how it is done.  After the Big Game, the grounds crew cleans and maintains the field so it will be ready for the next match.  The athletes can only perform at their best on a well maintained field.  If the field isn’t properly maintained, they may begin to organize their own pick-up games on makeshift fields of their choosing.  They don’t like this, nor do the spectators, so it’s very important that the grounds crew is competent and reliable.

So there you have it!  Enjoy your Pooper Bowl Sunday and make sure you keep both your athletes and their field of play in tip-top shape!

So Sayeth Otis

Cult of Otis Store

Cult of Otis shirts, posters, mugs, stickers and more!

12 Comments

Filed under Daily Life, The Good Word

Poop Already!

My Disciples,

One of My ginger, tabby brothers just moved in with a new family, and it seems that one of the children in the family is very strange.  The ginger tabby even posted a video about it so you can see for yourself!

Wow!  I mean…really…WOW!  I had no idea that human children could be so gross!  Now, if you’ll excuse Me, I think I need to go lick Myself clean.

So Sayeth Otis

Cult of Otis Store

Cult of Otis shirts, posters, mugs, stickers and more!

5 Comments

Filed under Daily Life

Gross! Don’t Turn Your Neighborhood Into A Litter Box.

My Disciples,

While I am always extolling the virtues of keeping your kitties safely contained, there is one good reason to do so that I have thus far avoided discussing.  You see, like every other animal on the planet, we kitties have to get rid of waste.  Aside from a few ingenious kitties that have learned to use human toilets, cats require a litter box in which to do their duty.  Now, I understand that cat poo and pee is not the most fun stuff to deal with.  We get it.  That’s why we bury it in the litter (or, if the cat has KBADS like Brother Henry they TRY to bury it).  But the litter box helps ensure that you only have to clean up our waste in designated areas.  Yeah, it stinks, but that’s what you signed up for when you became a kitty guardian.

But what about those kitties that are pushed out the door into Limbo every day?  They don’t have litter boxes outside, so where does all their duty go?  The Guardians recently showed me a series of photos that helped to answer that question.

Cat poop in the grass

Exhibit A- This photo was taken in the yard beside My house. That poo does not belong to Brothers or Me. We never go outside.

Cat Poop in the dirt floor of a garage.

Exhibit B- This photo was taken in the Guardian's dirt-floored garage. The Brothers and I have never been in there, but Zephyr and Poppy from next door sure have.

Cat Poop in the grass

Exhibit C- This photo was taken in My front yard. Again, The Brothers and I don't go out there, but Poppy, Zephyr, Cookie, Nacho, Mama Cat, Stanley, Domino and about 5 other neighbor's kitties have been seen hanging out there.

Obviously, the Guardians of Otis love cats, but they don’t love that every time they go outside they have to watch their step because their neighbors are irresponsible pet guardians.  They have heard cat guardians say that they let their cat outside because they don’t like cleaning litter boxes.  I say that, if that is the case, then cat guardianship is not the job for them.

As annoyed as the Guardians are with the dozens of piles of poo in their yard and the pervasive cat pee smell, they are still first and foremost concerned for the safety of the cats that are doing the pooing and peeing.  The guardians that are letting their cats roam free and do their business outside are putting their kitties’ lives at risk in an additional way.  For example, Brother Henry and I have come down with urinary tract infections in the past.  The only reason the Guardians were able to recognize that we were having a problem was because they were very familiar with our litter box habits.  When our habits suddenly changed, the Guardians immediately got us checked out (at The Bad Place…yikes!  But still…) If we had been roaming free and using the neighborhood as our litter box, the Guardians may not have even realized we were having a problem until it was too late.

Last but not least, for all our neighbors know the Guardians could be short-tempered, non-compassionate crazy people.  They’re not, but some people are, and if they continually find poo in their yard they may irrationally blame the cat instead of the cat’s guardians.  In that case, they may do something very bad to the cat!

My Disciples, please spread the word about these additional reasons to keep cats safely contained.  And if you have acquaintances that let their kitties out simply to avoid cleaning up after them, let them know that there is a companion animal that would be a much better fit for them.  It is called a pet rock.

So Sayeth Otis

Cult of Otis Store

Cult of Otis shirts, posters, mugs, stickers and more!

5 Comments

Filed under The Good Word