Tag Archives: pabst blue ribbon

I Think I’m a Hipster

My Disciples,

First let Me just say how much I appreciate Brother Henry filling in for Me the past couple days. He did a good job keeping you all in the loop, although I honestly would have preferred that he keep that thing about the rat butt to himself. Oh well, as Brother Henry informed you, I have been having some soreness in My right hip that seems to be getting worse. I hate it, not only because it makes Me limp, but also because it means I have to go to The Bad Place more.

On Monday, the Guardians took Me to a Bad Place that I had never been to before. The people there were very nice, but I was too terrified to really pay attention to what was being said about Me. I do know they were talking a lot about My sore hip though. For some reason, in My frightened haze, I focused on that word, “hip”. A memory was triggered of the time I heard the Guardians talking about something called a “hipster”. I recalled that they didn’t seem to be all that excited about hipsters, so it occurred to Me that maybe hipsters are bad. Then I thought, “Wait a second… I have a bad hip. Maybe it’s not the hipsters that are bad, maybe a hipster is someone with a bad hip. I must be a hipster!”

Otis not happy to be a hipster

I have a bad hip. I guess that makes me a hipster. This sucks.

So now, not only am I dealing with the newly discovered knowledge that I am a hipster, the Guardians have started moving My hip around more. I’m assuming the people at the Bad Place told them to do this. I’m not sure yet how I feel about it, but so far I’m just letting the Guardians do their thing. It’s funny though, I assume that since they know My hip is bad, they must also know I’m a hipster. When I think back on their conversation about hipsters I can recall them saying that hipsters always drink something called “PBR”. I have no idea what that is, but if it is a magic potion that helps to take away the pain of bad hips, I hope they get Me some soon!

So Sayeth Otis


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