My Disciples,
Since Brother Oliver performed above My expectations when I was teaching him the art of sneaky, I decided to continue his training by showing him some advanced paw to paw combat techniques. I started the lesson by laying down on My side and telling Brother Oliver to attack Me.
I started the lesson by laying down on My side and directing Brother Oliver to attack Me.
At first, Brother Oliver was uncertain. He knew from past experience that, like a cobra, My strikes can be lightning fast and devastating. He circled around to attempt to attack Me from behind, but I quickly rolled over into a defensive position that left Brother Oliver no openings.
Brother Oliver circled around behind Me, but I countered by performing a quick roll that brought Me into a defensive position.
Brother Oliver didn’t know it, but at this point I had him right where I wanted him. In an amazing burst of speed I rolled onto My belly and went in for a brutal, double front leg takedown. Just as My paws made contact with Brother Oliver’s front legs, he performed an illegal move to break free of the trap in which I had ensnared him!
When I had him right where I wanted him, Brother Oliver went all Mike Tyson on Me!
In what should have been My moment of victory, I felt a vice-like pressure close around My right ear. In a move straight out of Mike Tyson’s playbook, Brother Oliver was biting My ear! I hissed with all My might and rolled away from this unsportsmanlike attack. Brother Oliver ran off toward the kitchen and I was left to nurse My wounded ear.
My ear was numb after Brother Oliver's attack. I used My hind foot to make sure it was still there.
Immediately after the attack, what was originally pain quickly turned to numbness. I had to check to make sure My right ear was still there. Fortunately, it was. When I talked to Brother Oliver later, he apologized and said he had been attempting to perform My signature move that I call “The Skull Cracker.” I had done it to him once before, and he had been highly impressed. Since there was no permanent damage to My ear, I accepted Brother Oliver’s apology. I also agreed to continue his training in the near future. In the meantime though, I’m going to command the Guardians to buy Me a set of kitty-sized earmuffs. One can never be too careful.
So Sayeth Otis
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