The World As Seen By Brother Oliver #3

My Disciples,

Brother Oliver has finished another image in his ongoing photo series showing the world from his perspective.  This time he attempted to capture what the world looks like to him when it is time for the Guardians to trim our nails. I think he has succeeded brilliantly!  Here’s Brother Oliver.

The World As I See It, by Brother Oliver

As I was working on the next photo in my “World As I See It” photo series, the Guardians pulled out the evil claw clipping device and came looking for Leader Otis, Brother Henry and I.  I decided to use the emotion I felt at seeing those clippers in my creative process and take an image that I feel represents what goes on at claw clipping time quite well.  The result is below, and it should give you some sense of how The Leader, Brother Henry and I cope when the Guardians try to blunt our weapons.

The World As I See It #3- Nail Clipping Time

There you have it.  Another stunning triumph by Brother Oliver!  That’s certainly the view I find Myself enjoying whenever I see those blasted claw clippers.  I hope this has yet again given you some small insight into how the world looks to your feline friends.

So Sayeth Otis

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Note To Guardians: Morning Pets Are At 5:15 am Sharp!

My Disciples,

This morning I survived the worst tragedy ever in the history of the world.  I did not receive My morning pets until 8:37 am!  I thought I had made it clear to the Guardians that morning pets are to be administered at 5:15 am sharp on the light blue rug in the downstairs bathroom.  At 5:10 this morning The Brothers and I jumped up as we do every morning, expecting at least one of the Guardians to do the same.  The minutes rolled by and we began to walk over the still sleeping Guardians and bat things around that we knew would make noise.  At 5:13 am, the larger Guardian finally got up, but instead of heading downstairs to the designated petting station he grabbed our dry food bag and put some in our bowl.  He then went right back to bed!  I was so angry I just barely managed to eat most of the bowl of food he had just poured!

Blast the Guardians! It is unacceptable that I had to wait more than three hours for My morning pets.

The Guardian stayed in bed for more than three hours after that.  Despite My best efforts, I could not rouse him.  The Brothers even refused to aid Me in my attempts at waking him because they had been completely suckered by that offering of food.  Eventually I became so tired from trying so hard to get My rightful pets that I fell asleep.  When the Guardian finally got up shortly after 8:30 am, I considered refusing to let him pet Me.  In the end, I allowed him to pet Me, but for far less than the usual 30 – 45 minutes that I demand.  I also drove home the extent of My displeasure by offering up My belly for scratches and then mauling the Guardian’s hand with claws and teeth.  One way or another, this human will be trained!

So Sayeth Otis

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Kitty Close-up #10

My Disciples,

Today I bring you another image in My Kitty Close-ups photo series.  This one shows one of My razor sharp kitty claws…hmmmm…now that I look at the photo My claw doesn’t look all that razor sharp.  Frankly, I’m a little bit embarrassed.  If you’ll please excuse Me, I need to go scratch something to sharpen these claws up…possibly the couch.

So Sayeth Otis

Behold My razor sharp...errrr...kind of dull claw.

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Blast the Guardians and that Claw Clipper!

My Disciples,

Well, the Guardians did it again.  Just when I got My claws long and sharp like I wanted them, the Guardians pulled out that green-handeled tool that I despise.  I tried to reason with them by giving them My best innocent face.  I wanted them to know that, although I was armed with the equivalent of 18 tiny switchblades, I would use them for good rather than evil.  But they wouldn’t listen.

How could they still believe My claws were dangerous after they saw this face?

They seemed to think that the claw trimming was for My own good.  OK, I must confess that I was having a few difficulties with My claws getting stuck in the carpet, the drapes, Brother Oliver’s hide and the Guardians’ skin, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle.  I had My weapons completely under control!  Oh well, the deed was done despite My growls and hisses of complaint.  Fortunately, My claws are always growing.  As soon as the Guardians finished their unnecessary grooming, I began the task of working to return My claws to their former glory.

I'll show the Guardians. I will have these claws back in shape in no time.

With a little bit of chewing, and some work on the scratching post, I will have My claws just how I like them in a few weeks.  In the meantime, I am going to put Brother Oliver and Brother Henry to work seeking out the hiding place of that evil claw clipping tool.  If they can locate it, I plan to destroy it once and for all.

So Sayeth Otis

 

 

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