The Guardians…errr…I mean…judges have finished tallying the results for this year’s Bird Slayer event in the Cult of Otis Catlympics. Because different numbers of people rated each of us, the judges had to use an average score for each contestant so a fair comparison could be made. As it turns out, Brother Henry finished in first place with an average score of 8.70 and Brother Oliver was in second place with 8.03. So it was a great competition and…what? What was My score you ask? Ummm…well…My score was 7.08.
I’m a little embarrassed to tell you the truth. I mean, I’m The Leader of this organization and I came in a distant last in the Catlympics. When the judges had us mount the victory platforms to award our victory snacks (we don’t get medals in the Catlympics, just victory snacks) I was so disappointed that it took me nearly three whole seconds to eat them.
After I finished My victory snacks I was even more depressed because not only had I lost, now I was out of snacks. Brother Oliver was still savoring the delicious taste of second place, and I asked him if he would mind if I joined him on his platform. He immediately snapped up all of his remaining victory snacks and then, through a mouthful of food, he mumbled, “Sorry Leader Otis. This platform is reserved for second place kitties only. It’s in the rules.”
Next, I decided to pop My head up to the winners platform to see how Brother Henry was enjoying his first place victory snacks. They looked and smelled just like My third place snacks, but since he was on the top platform, I suspected that his snacks tasted much better than Mine.
For some reason, when I peeked up onto his platform, Brother Henry quickly devoured all of his remaining snacks. It was weird because he had been eating them slowly up to that point. I guess he must have suddenly become really hungry or something. Very weird.
With the finishing of the snacks, The First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics came to a close. I suspect that in the coming days and weeks Brother Henry is going to be receiving a lot of phone calls and emails asking for his endorsement for a variety of products. I just hope that he doesn’t let his newfound celebrity interfere with his duties as My Muscle. More importantly, if he becomes the new spokescat for some delicious brand of cat snacks, I REALLY hope he receives a lifetime supply of the product because I’m sure he would want to share the bounty with his beloved Leader.
So Sayeth Otis