Tag Archives: catlympics

First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics: The Results

My Disciples,

The Guardians…errr…I mean…judges have finished tallying the results for this year’s Bird Slayer event in the Cult of Otis Catlympics.  Because different numbers of people rated each of us, the judges had to use an average score for each contestant so a fair comparison could be made.  As it turns out, Brother Henry finished in first place with an average score of 8.70 and  Brother Oliver was in second place with 8.03.  So it was a great competition and…what?  What was My score you ask?  Ummm…well…My score was 7.08.

I’m a little embarrassed to tell you the truth.  I mean, I’m The Leader of this organization and I came in a distant last in the Catlympics.  When the judges had us mount the victory platforms to award our victory snacks (we don’t get medals in the Catlympics, just victory snacks) I was so disappointed that it took me nearly three whole seconds to eat them.

The Brothers and Otis on the victory platforms.

I was so disappointed that I had come in last that it took me almost three seconds to finish My victory snacks.

After I finished My victory snacks I was even more depressed because not only had I lost, now I was out of snacks.  Brother Oliver was still savoring the delicious taste of second place, and I asked him if he would mind if I joined him on his platform.  He immediately snapped up all of his remaining victory snacks and then, through a mouthful of food, he mumbled, “Sorry Leader Otis.  This platform is reserved for second place kitties only.  It’s in the rules.”

The Brothers and Otis on their victory platforms.

I asked Brother Oliver if I could join him on his victory platform. He said I couldn't because of the rules.

Next, I decided to pop My head up to the winners platform to see how Brother Henry was enjoying his first place victory snacks.  They looked and smelled just like My third place snacks, but since he was on the top platform, I suspected that his snacks tasted much better than Mine.

Brothers Henry and Oliver and Leader Otis on the victory platforms.

I checked in on Brother Henry. I suspected that his victory snacks tasted much better than Mine.

For some reason, when I peeked up onto his platform, Brother Henry quickly devoured all of his remaining snacks.  It was weird because he had been eating them slowly up to that point.  I guess he must have suddenly become really hungry or something.  Very weird.

With the finishing of the snacks, The First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics came to a close.  I suspect that in the coming days and weeks Brother Henry is going to be receiving a lot of phone calls and emails asking for his endorsement for a variety of products.  I just hope that he doesn’t let his newfound celebrity interfere with his duties as My Muscle.  More importantly, if he becomes the new spokescat for some delicious brand of cat snacks, I REALLY hope he receives a lifetime supply of the product because I’m sure he would want to share the bounty with his beloved Leader.

So Sayeth Otis



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First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics: Final Day- Leader Otis

Brother Oliver

Brother Oliver

Disciples of Otis,

This is Brother Oliver filling in for The Leader as He takes center stage in today’s Bird Slayer competition.  I can’t say anything about the performance of the previous contestants as I am one of them, but feel free to check out their performances in the earlier Blog of Otis updates.

Weighing in at 14.2 pounds, today’s competitor is a scrappy young tabby from the streets.  After being swept up in The Capture and brought into The Promised Land by those that would become His Guardians, this feisty feline founded a formidable new movement.  I give you, the incomparable Leader Otis!

Otis 01

OK, it looks like The Leader is starting off on the cat tree and, OH MY! He has attempted a one-pawed grab but He came up far short. Let's see what he does next.

Otis 02

The Leader has dropped down one level on the cat tree and He has taken another one-pawed swipe. He used the left paw this time and connected, but was unable to hold on. Oh dear...

Otis 03

Relocating again, this time to the floor, Leader Otis now appears to be attempting to use His Kitty Fu moves to subdue the bird. Again He has connected, but again the bird slipped away.

Otis 04

Ummm…Uhhhh…I think The Leader has frozen. His leg is outstretched but He didn't attempt to grab the bird as it passed by this time. I…huh…I'm not sure what's going on…

Otis 05

Wait! The Leader has taken a new approach. He has now jumped up and attempted a two-pawed grab…but he missed by a wide margin...

Otis 06

The bird is passing by again, and again Leader Otis has swung and missed!

Otis 07

And again!

Otis 08

Oh no! Again!

Otis 09

He connects! And…nope, missed again…

Otis 10

Now Leader Otis is attempting to catch the bird in His mouth like Brother Henry did…but He missed…

Otis 11

Hold on! Yes! Leader Otis! You can do it! Hold on! Errrr…I mean Leader Otis is now up on His tippy toes and He has grasped the bird between His mighty front paws. Will He be able to hold on!?

Otis 12

He's doing it! He has pulled the bird down and He has repositioned His paws to given himself a better grip. His grip still looks tenuous though. Oh…I don't know if I can watch anymore!

Otis 13

Yes! Yes! Leader Otis has performed a back roll and He now has the bird in His jaws! He has secured it with a double-front leglock and He has brought His hind legs into kicking position in case the bird tries to give Him any resistance. There's His kill face and 1, 2, 3…It's over! It's all over! Thank the Guardians!

Whew!  What a stunning performance by Leader Otis.  His final time is…oh…ummm…His final time is a very impressive 2 minutes 14 seconds!  Please enter your scores for The Leader below.  The scores will be tallied and we will report back to you in a few days on the results!

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics: A Message From Our Sponsors

The Guardians of OtisMy Disciples,

My apologies, but we must interrupt our continuing coverage of The First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics for a message from our sponsors.  Our sponsors being the Guardians of Otis.

The Guardians would like to remind you that kitties need lots of enrichment.  That is really what the Catlympics are all about!  Kitties love to chase, pounce, grab, bite, maul and attack.  It is your responsibility not only to keep them safely contained, but to provide them with an outlet for all of their behavioral needs.  Kitty won’t be meowing at the door to go out if you are providing him or her with all of the enrichment he or she needs within the safe boundaries you have provided.

So be a responsible Guardian.  Keep your cat contained AND give them the enrichment that they desperately need.  Tomorrow we will return to our regularly scheduled coverage of the First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics.

So Sayeth Otis

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First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics: Day 2- Brother Oliver

My Disciples,

After a strong effort by Brother Henry yesterday, our coverage of the First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics continues today with our second competitor.  Weighing in at 16.5 pounds, this clever kitty is also a major killa!  You know him as The Brains of The Cult of Otis, I give you The Wily Brother Oliver!

Oliver 01

Brother Oliver has gone the relatively safe route of starting on the floor and…WOW! Right out of the gate he is busting out some amazing Kitty Fu moves as the bird makes its first pass!

Oliver 02

It's a miss! As impressive as the Kitty Fu moves were Brother Oliver just couldn't bring down the bird. He's lost a little time, but he still has a chance to recover.

Oliver 03

Repositioning in front of the door Brother Oliver has fallen back on the traditional two-pawed grab. Unfortunately it looks like the bird is slipping free before he can bring it to his mouth.

Oliver 04

Oh My! Brother Oliver has just made a stunning leap back to the center of the room where he nabbed the bird by the head between his front paws! His grip looks solid! He may be able to finish it this time!

Oliver 05

Taking no chances, Brother Oliver is using the handler's line to guide his mouth down to the bird's head. Though not considered cheating, this will likely cost him a few points in the technique category.

Oliver 06

The bird's head is now in his mouth and he is putting on his kill face. Wait! It looks like he is trying to mimic Brother Henry's claw move from yesterday, but his claw has come up short!

Oliver 07

Missing the bit of extra claw flair that he was hoping for, Brother Oliver has now thrown everything he has into his most intense kill face! 1, 2, 3…it's over! It's all over!

After a few false starts Brother Oliver finally brought the bird down, and with quite an intense kill face if I do say so Myself.  His overall time was 27 seconds, giving him a 10 second advantage over Brother Henry.  When the final scores are tallied, the kitty with the best time will be awarded an extra 6 points and the second best time will earn an extra 3 points.  But today’s scores are up to you, My Disciples so please score Brother Oliver’s performance below.  If you need a reminder of what each category is for, please check yesterday’s blog for the rundown.  Tune in tomorrow for the third and final competitor in The First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics.  It will be none other than…well…Me!

So Sayeth Otis

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First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics: Day 1- Brother Henry

My Disciples,

Welcome to the First Annual Cult of Otis Catlympics.  For the next three days we will be brining you coverage of this thrilling display of kitty skill, kitty dexterity and, best of all, extreme kitty enrichment.

Since this is our inaugural year of the Catlympics, we are starting off with only a single event called The Bird Slayer.  More events may be added in the future if time and funding allows (the athletes are hoping to pick up big name sponsors for next year, but only time will tell.)

The object of The Bird Slayer event is for the competitor to capture and slay a simulated bird as quickly as possible.  To slay the bird, the competitors must hold it in their mouth while displaying their most intimidating “kill face” for at least three seconds.  Points are awarded not only on the time it takes to slay the bird, but also on technique and intensity of the killing face.  Bonus points may be awarded for kitties who add extra flair and/or execute more difficult techniques.

Without further ado, let’s get this competition started.  Our first contestant is The Mighty Brother Henry.  Widely known as The Muscle for The Cult of Otis, this tough tom is 17-pounds of Tabby Fury.  We’re expecting big things from this big boy here today.

Brother Henry 01

It looks like he has chosen to start off on the bench in front of the computer. He’s giving the bird handler the signal that he is ready to begin!

Henry 02

Wow! Brother Henry is off to a quick start with a one-pawed grab that snatched the simulated bird right out of mid-air. The judges are really going to be impressed with this high-difficulty move. He is bringing the bird to his mouth to initiate the kill.

Henry 03

He’s clamping down on the simulated bird’s head and putting on his kill face. This could be it!

Henry 04

Wait! The bird has slipped free of his jaws! Brother Henry is scrambling to reposition his paws to prevent it from escaping!

Henry 05

The bird is pulling free! Brother Henry is now digging in with his mighty claws trying frantically to regain control!

Henry 06

It’s no use! The bird has escaped! That’s going to cost Brother Henry some valuable time!

Henry 07

Brother Henry has now repositioned himself on the cat tree. It looks like he has now switched to a more traditional two-pawed attack.

Henry 08

Both paws at the ready, clearly Brother Henry does not intend to make the same mistake twice. Here comes the bird!

Henry 09

Oh my! He’s caught it right in his mouth! He didn’t even use his paws! But can he hold on!?

Henry 10

Yes! He’s done it! He has quickly repositioned the bird, clamped down on its head and put on his kill face! He has even extended one claw to pull some tension out of the bird handler’s line, a tricky move that’s sure to impress the judges. 1, 2, 3…it’s all over!

And there you have it.  He had a little bobble in the beginning but Brother Henry came back strong with a stunning capture and kill!  His overall time was 37 seconds.  Now it is up to you, My Disciples, to score his performance.  You may award up to 10 points in each of three categories.  Technique points are awarded based on the difficulty of the capture and the precision of execution.  Kill Face points are awarded based on how impressed you were by the contestant’s expression at the time of the kill.  Bonus points can be awarded for anything you wish!  So score away, and we will return with more of the competition tomorrow as Brother Oliver takes center stage!

So Sayeth Otis

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