GO Readiness Drill Part II: Will The GO Go?

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here.

When we last left off I had just given a movement command to the Guardian Outpost, and I was waiting for the drivetrain to engage. Much to my disappointment the drivetrain did not engage, but the emergency shields did! Instead of carrying me to the Super Outpost Tabby Tower as I had commanded, the GO enveloped me in warm, snuggly barriers that were only meant to deploy if a large dog was in close proximity!

GO Drill 6

Instead of engaging the drivetrain, the GO deployed the emergency shields!

To make matters worse, the GO began emitting strange noises that sounded like, “You are such a good boy! What a handsome boy you are!” The GO is supposed to be a stealth platform! These noises could alert any dogs within earshot that the commander of the feline defense force was in close proximity! I had to act fast to silence the noise, so I did the only thing I could think of.

GO Drill 7

I had to silence the GO, so I did the only thing I could think of.

Fortunately, it worked. The GO reset and stopped emitting sounds. The shields returned to their non-emergency configuration and I waited again for the drivetrain to kick in. It didn’t happen. Instead, the GO seemed to be preoccupied with with a strange device.

GO Drill 8

The GO still didn’t move. It seemed to be preoccupied with a strange device.

I commanded the GO to redeploy the emergency shield so I could get a closer look at the device.

GO Drill 9

I needed to get a closer look at the device.

My fear was that agents of The Long-feared Dog Uprising were somehow using this device to cause the Guardian Outpost to malfunction and disobey my move orders. There was only one way to be sure. I had to see if the device tasted like it had been among The Mongrel Horde.

GO Drill 10

I had to taste the device to determine if it had the flavor of mongrel on it.

No. I detected no mongrel flavor on the pen. Good thing too, because the slightest hint of dog essence on my tongue would have likely made me projectile barf immediately. That would have undoubtedly soiled the GO, although it might have spurned it to engage the drivetrain as I had asked as well. Instead, the GO just continued to sit there idling, apparently working on something completely unrelated to ensuring that we are victorious against the dastardly dogs of the LFDU.

GO Drill 11

The GO is not combat ready.

So, perhaps the Guardian Outpost will not be the secret weapon I had hoped it would be. The potential is certainly there, but without a reliable control mechanism I just don’t know how I can tap into that potential. Unless… Hmmmm… you know, I’ve never tried this with the bigger of the two Guardians. The smaller one seems smarter, so I always assumed she’d be the faster learner. But maybe smarter’s not what I need in a mobile outpost!

Disciples, I think I am onto something. I think I need to go back to the drawing board… or maybe I could convince the Guardian to draw what I want on the board that is in front of her right now! Then again… probably not.

So Says Brother Henry

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Filed under Daily Life

11 responses to “GO Readiness Drill Part II: Will The GO Go?

  1. Sukanya Ramanujan

    Oh you cute cute cute kitty- I so want to squish him!

  2. We think the GO looks mighty functional

  3. Well, even if it didnt get you where you wanted, it did give you cuddles and it obeyed your command to let you taste the mysterious object! So some commands are getting through, just not all.

  4. I’m pretty sure that the GO would not let the LFDU anywhere near you or the other kitties, Brother Henry. Perhaps you could relax your vigilance a little bit?

  5. Good luck brother Henry….we hear those GOs can be unreliable 🙂

  6. Pingback: GO Readiness Drill Part II: Will The GO Go? | Catgurl40's Blog

  7. mistletoeandhitch

    We were wondering if, perhaps, the GO is on autopilot? Then the auto sensors might over ride your commands as it senses that the LFDU is nowhere in proximity. If the autopilot was engaged and you were to make any sudden movement that might bring out the protective shields as the GO is designed to protect the passenger in case of any threat, including unplanned exit from the cockpit. Remember, the prototype for the GO was tested using human kittens. As test subjects those furless little beings basically only provided a live, moving weight, incapable of providing any intelligent input. So, the bug in the GO’s development may be the fact that we used the testpilot to develop the safety shields without accounting for the fact that, when in operation, the GO would need to take commands from the actual pilot. In short, the autopilot’s safety measures are over riding your commands to move in the desired direction. We will continue to work on this problem at our East Coast base and advise you of our progress, if and when there is any. Defeat to the LFDU!

  8. Like the GO very much.

  9. Leigh

    Sweetest cat ever!

  10. Mee-you Brother Henry mee finkss yur Guardian (Outpost) iss berry luvley. Butt shee msut not understand bout yur feer of thee LFDU….
    LadyMum has told mee sum of thee back hisstory so mee knowss what you are goin thru’.
    Iss hard fur mee to grasp as one of mee BESTEST furendss iss a doggie….a Shepherd/Sheltie doggie an shee allwayss treeted mee like I was her own pup!
    You must have sum eevill doggiess there…..
    Sinseerlee Siddhartha Henry =^,.^= an LadyMum 🙂

  11. msphoebecat

    Brother Henry I am so jealous of the smaller guardian getting to hold you like a baby, you are a good boy!

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