Disciples of Otis,
Brother Oliver here.
Well, we had to do it. After what we saw, there was no other option. We had to put Sir Thomas in Timeout. I mean… well… maybe I should just show you what he was doing.
Yep, that’s a catnip banana he has there. Brother Henry and I were shocked! Sir Thomas knows the dangers of the nip-nanner yet he still chooses to experiment with it! When Brother Henry asked him what he thought he was doing Sir Thomas said, “Ummm… I am just trying to channel the spirit of Leader Otis. Remember how much He loved these things? I thought maybe I could connect with Him by partaking in one of His favorite activities!” We’ve told Thomas time and time again about how bad The Leader’s nip nanner addiction got, but apparently the kid just doesn’t believe us.
Brother Henry took the banana away from Sir Thomas and I told him he was getting a timeout for his behavior. I said, “Sir T, if you want to channel The Leader, you’re going to do it in a way that is less intoxicating and more uplifting!” I then led him to his timeout spot.
Thomas was told to spend the next hour on The Sacred Orange Pillow of Enlightenment thinking about what he had done. Unfortunately, I think he had already spent quite a bit of time with the Banana before Brother Henry and I found him. Instead of sitting and thinking about what he had done, Sir Thomas sat and giggled for nearly three hours and then passed out. He woke up the next morning with the headache of a lifetime. Hmmm… perhaps he channeled the spirit of The Leader after all!
So Sayeth Brother Oliver