Disciples of Otis,
Brother Oliver here.
I know everyone has been worried about Stanley since Brother Henry’s post a few days ago. As Brother Henry reported, Big Stan had been fighting with Charlie, the cat formerly known as Minerva. I actually still really like the name “Minerva” but the Guardians talked to “Minerva’s” guardians once and then suddenly started calling him Charlie, so I guess that’s his real name. But I’ve gotten off track a little here. What I wanted to tell you is that I think Stan is OK. I know the Guardians found Stanley’s collar and a clump of white fur, but this morning I saw Charlie sitting on the table in our backyard, and I’m pretty sure I can safely say that the clump of fur came from him instead of Stanley.
So Stanley probably pulled out a mouthful of Charlie’s fur, and Charlie grabbed a mouthful of Stan’s collar. Both fur and collar came off. Charlie must have sensed that I was looking at him because he suddenly opened his eyes and looked my way. As the sun caught his ears I cringed a little, because I could see all the nicks and cuts on them from his many fights.
Any one of those small nicks on Charlie’s ears could have come from a cat that was infected with Feline Leukemia Virus, Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, or any number of other transmissible diseases. There are vaccines for some of them, but not for others. But even if a kitty is resistant to the disease, why would any cat guardian put their kitty in a situation where he or she is going to be repeatedly scratched and bitten by other cats? I felt sorry for Charlie so I yowled to the Guardians to come and give him some catnip. They complied right away, and I’m pretty sure Charlie appreciated it.
Charlie sniffed, ate, and rolled in the catnip for quite some time. I was happy to see this because it meant he wasn’t fighting other cats or running around in the road, at least for a little while. After rolling for several more minutes, Charlie looked up at me and said, “Ummm… have you been watching me this whole time?”
When I told Charlie that I had indeed been watching him the whole time he said, “You know what? I’m very thankful you got your people to give me catnip, but if you were out here with me, I would totally kick your butt. It’s nothing personal. I just can’t help myself.” I said, “I know you can’t help yourself, Charlie. Actually, it’s not your job to help yourself. It’s your guardians’ job. Your guardians are supposed to make sure you stay safely confined so you aren’t in situations where you endanger yourself with your uncontrollable urges.” Charlie sat up, now very interested in the conversation. He said, “Really!? So… I’m not a bad cat?”
I said, “No Charlie, you’re not a bad cat. None of your fights are your fault.” Charlie said, “Good… then I feel a little less guilty that I’m still feeling the urge to kick your butt.” I said, “I know, Charlie, that urge is not likely to ever go away. You can’t change your behavior. Our only hope in this situation is that your guardians change theirs.” Charlie said, “Would it help if I try to kick their butts?” After I stopped laughing I replied, “No Charlie. It’s probably better if you don’t.”
So Sayeth Brother Oliver