Disciples of Otis,
Brother Oliver here.
Last night was a bit rough. The humans in our neighborhood decided to celebrate Mew Year’s Eve by setting off what sounded like 1,000 pound bombs, or possibly low-yield nuclear devices. It started just after sunset and continued until about 12:30 am. Every time one we heard one of those explosions we thought the world was ending. Sir Thomas was especially frightened by the noise, and he spent a lot of the night running from one hiding spot to the next. He had recovered by this morning though, and as his fear dissipated it was replaced by a driving need to get back at those who had tormented him during the night. To meet that need, Sir Thomas came up with a plan.
Because they were setting off explosions until the wee hours of the morning, Sir Thomas deduced that the culprits must be attempting to sleep late today. So, just before sunrise Sir T went out into our Outdoor Domain and put his plan in motion. He began yelling “Happy Mew Year!” as loudly as he could. He did this over and over and over, and I’ve never heard a kitty yell so loud.
After Thomas did this for several minutes, a human voice from somewhere in the neighborhood shouted, “Someone please shut that cat up! I’m trying to sleep!” This only encouraged Sir Thomas to shout even louder, and his cries of “HAPPY MEW YEAR!!!” carried far and wide. As he continued, more human voices joined the first, pleading for someone to do something about the incessant, loud meowing that was keeping them awake. Thomas eventually stopped, either because he felt he had woken up a sufficient number of people or because his voice gave out. When I heard his cries cease, I went to the door of the Outdoor Domain and peeked out to check on the kid. I found him looking back at me with a stern but satisfied look on his face.
After we looked at each other for a moment I said, “Feel better Sir T?”, and Thomas replied, in a hoarse whisper, “Much better, Brother O, but now I think I need a drink of water.” With that, Thomas walked back inside and began to lap eagerly from a water bowl just inside the door. As Thomas drank, from somewhere in the neighborhood I heard an exasperated human voice say, “Finally, some peace and quiet!”, and at that moment I decided that maybe it was time for me to yell out some Mew Year’s greetings of my own.
So Sayeth Brother Oliver