Disciples of The Leader Otis,
Brother Henry here.
When we last left off, Brother Oliver was trying to blame the poo on Thomas’s pink, plushy, psycho minion. I pointed out that the minion didn’t smell like poo, so Brother Oliver may have been smelling poo on himself. Brother Oliver seemed to take offense to my suggestion. I said, “Brother Oliver, to recap what you said earlier, you claim you came up here to use the fresh litter box, and after you used the box, you got out and saw the minion sitting on the bench. That’s when you screamed like a lady…” Brother Oliver turned away from the minion muttering, “Yep. It’s just as I said. I used the box, then saw the minion. I have no idea what you are talking about as far as that lady scream goes though. I recall letting out a very cat-manly roar.”
I pressed Brother Oliver saying, “Are you sure that’s how it happened? Is it possible that the terrible fright you experienced caused you to remember the events incorrectly?” Brother Oliver said, “Nope. That’s exactly how it happened. My memory is clear. Whew! Man that poo stinks. Maybe that’s why I could smell poo all the way over by the minion. Someone should really cover this thing up.” Brother Oliver then proceeded to try to cover up the poo.
As Brother Oliver was trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to cover up the poo, I jumped down and walked over to the litter box. Peering in, I said, “Ummmm… Brother Oliver? This litter box is completely clean. Didn’t you say you used the box before you saw the minion?”
Now clearly pretending to be shocked, Brother Oliver ran over to the litter box and looked in. He said, “Oh my gosh! It… it is clean! Wait… Brother Henry… are you saying that after I saw the minion and ran for the stairs, the minion jumped down, came over to the litter box, removed my poo, dropped it in the middle of the floor, and then returned to his minion bin? And he did that all before you were able to get to the top of the stairs!? Wow! That’s so creepy!”
My patience now wearing thin, I said, “No, Brother Oliver, I’m saying that you came upstairs to use the box but you saw the minion before you used it. I’m saying that seeing the minion scared the poo out of you, literally.” As I finished speaking, Brother Oliver said, “What was that, Brother Henry? I couldn’t hear you. I’m kind of busy here. You know how I love a fresh box.”
At that point I decided to take my leave. In my mind, the mystery of the poo had been solved, but the mystery of the minion had only deepened. Further investigation would have to wait for another day though… preferably after one of the Guardians has given both the rug and the litter box in Valhalla a thorough cleaning.
So Says Brother Henry