Disciples of The Leader Otis,
Brother Henry here.
When we last left off, I had gone up to Valhalla to investigate a lady screaming. The lady turned out to be Brother Oliver. He had been spooked by Thomas’s pink minion who had reappeared in the minion bin. I investigated the minion and noticed he was holding a “Wiener Dog Art” book and had “W” shaped pupils. Then I noticed a big poo on the floor, which was even more disturbing.
As I took a closer look at the poo, a scenario played out in my mind. It looked like someone had walked to the center of the room, looked up and saw the minion, and then pooed out of sheer terror.
Brother Oliver came back up to Valhalla to see what I wanted to talk to him about. As he walked into the room he suddenly got a shocked look on his face. He said, “What the hairball is that?”, then, moving over to the poo he said, “Is… is that… a piece of chocolate candy left up here by the Guardians?”
I sat in silence for a moment and then said, “Brother Oliver… that thing on the floor is clearly not a piece of candy. Well… actually, a dog might consider it candy, but to those of us who aren’t totally disgusting it’s obviously poo.” Brother Oliver looked up with a befuddled expression and said, “Wait a minute, Brother Henry. Are you trying to tell me that one of the Guardians pooed on the floor?”
I sat in silence for another moment before saying, “Brother Oliver… we’ve been living with the Guardians for over ten years now… you are well aware that they almost never poo on the floor.” Brother Oliver replied, “Oh… right… wait… so… you mean the minion did it! Oh my gosh! If that thing can poo then it really must be alive!” Running over to the the minion, Brother Oliver made a big show of sniffing. He said, “Yep! I can smell poo over here too! it must have been the minion!” Now sounding desperate, Brother Oliver continued saying, “And the poo is kind of long and skinny! Like a wiener dog! Perhaps, to the minion, this poo is some form of wiener dog art!”
Brother Oliver seemed to be trying to throw the blame for the poo on anyone or anything he could. He wasn’t fooling me. I said, “Hmmmm… Brother Oliver, you say you still smell poo over there by the minion? Funny, I didn’t smell any poo when I was close to that thing. I hate to say it, but I think you might be smelling yourself, which means…” Brother Oliver cut me off mid-sentence saying, “I don’t think I like what you are implying, Brother Henry!” But whether Brother Oliver liked it or not, I was pretty sure my implication was correct, and I thought I knew a way I could prove it.
So Says Brother Henry
Next- Plushy Poo Puzzle Part III: I Rest My Case