Plushy Poo Puzzle Part I: A Stinky Discovery

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here.

This morning, just as I was drifting off into a nice, peaceful, after-breakfast nap, I was suddenly jarred awake when I heard a lady screaming. The scream sounded like it came from kitty Valhalla! Even though we have all been avoiding Valhalla since the weirdness that happened up there a week or so ago, I immediately ran toward Valhalla to see if I could be of assistance to the poor lady who had screamed. When I reached the stairs and looked up, I discovered that the lady was actually Brother Oliver.

As I started to climb the stairs I asked Brother Oliver what was going on. He said, “Brother Henry! It was terrible! It all started when the bigger guardian cleaned the litter boxes. When he finished, I decided to do what I always do… you know… go from box to box making a small deposit in each before anyone else gets a chance to do it. Anyway, without thinking, I headed up to Valhalla to use that box first. When I arrived in Valhalla, I… I used the box and then looked up and got the fright of a lifetime! It… well, just take a look for yourself! I’ll be over here on the stairs.” I rushed past Brother Oliver and jumped up on the bench in front of the window as he took up a safe position on the stairs.

01

Brother Oliver was pretty shaken up. He said he would wait on the stairs while I took a look.

As soon as I jumped up on the bench, my blood ran cold. The pink, plushy, grinning monster was back in the bucket with the rest of Thomas’s minions. He was holding a book.

02

The pink minion had returned to the bucket. He had a book.

I cautiously crept forward to take a closer look. I was prepared to turn and dart back down the stairs at the slightest sign of movement from the minions. When I got right up to the crazily smiling freak, I saw the title of the book he was holding. It was “Wiener Dog Art”. I then looked up into the thing’s creepy, vacant eyes and noticed something that sent shivers down my spine.

03

The plushy freak was holding “Wiener Dog Art”. I looked into his eyes and saw something chilling.

When I looked into the minion’s eyes, I noticed that instead of round pupils, each eye had a “W” at its center. A “W”! I could think of only one plausible explanation. The “W” must stand for “wiener”, as in “wiener dog”. The minion must be under the control of wiener dogs!

030

The minion’s pupils were shaped like the letter “W”. I could think of only one explanation.

Shocked and a bit rattled, I turned to tell Brother Oliver what I had just discovered. As I turned my head though, my gaze fell upon a sight even more shocking than the wiener-possessed pink plushy. For a moment I just stared, unable to believe what I was seeing.

04

The “W” pupils were shocking, but what I saw when I turned my head was even more shocking.

I jumped down to take a closer look. Surely that wasn’t what it appeared to be. Perhaps one of the Guardians was up here earlier and dropped a piece of chocolate candy or something. Nope. When I got closer I could verify the identity of the object with my nose as well as my eyes. It was poo!!!

05

Yep. It was poo.

Someone had pooed on the floor! And I was pretty sure I knew who. I said, “Brother Oliver! Get your stinky butt up here! I need to talk to you about something.”

So Says Brother Henry

Next- Plushy Poo Puzzle Part II: Whose Poo?

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8 Comments

Filed under Daily Life

8 responses to “Plushy Poo Puzzle Part I: A Stinky Discovery

  1. oh man…that pink guy has GOT to go….that is just scary

  2. You are so brave, Brother Henry! You not only got close to the W-eyed minion, you got even closer to an ULP (unidentified lying poo). At this point, Kitty Valhalla seems to be a veritable Bermuda triangle of mysteries!

  3. It’s a plant…the minion has been sent in to create chaos and divide and conquer…

  4. sandy921

    Something really stinks here and it isn’t just the poo…

  5. msphoebecat

    MEWHAAHAAAHAAAHEEEEEHEEEEHOOOHEEEHEEEEHAAAAA!! Oh my this is the most perplexing Kitty Vahalia mystery and possible insult EVER!!! This minion is turning in to an evil, possessed, frightening freak and if he is the poo culprit, we vote he should be destroyed by the mighty claws of the Cult of Otis members! It’s bad enough he scares everyone, but if now he’s leaving poo on the floor that is beyond RUDE!!
    IF it is a certain Brother, however, who first discovered the book the minion held– and we are not saying it is, or accusing any one kitty- one cannot blame them. That little pink weiner obsessed freak is scary as a planet filled with weiner dogs planning an uprising!!! Anyone or cat might be so shocked and frightened that they lose control of their bowels without realizing it!
    Anyway, we wait in anticipation of the next installment of the weiner wonder…

    Purrs,
    Clove & Kaspars

  6. OH ME KAT!!!!
    We iz scared too n ’bout to poo on da floor….da pink Cheshire kitteh needz to bee shipped off to a dessert eyeland…he iz anastee peece of ‘do do’…
    We awaitz da next innstallmint wif ant-tisepayshun…
    *shudderz*
    Yer furendz, Nylablue n Sherriellen Mum too

  7. OMC! Could it be? No, no…too awful to consider…but, but…wasn’t Brother O just leaving his deposits?

  8. Pingback: Rough Days | The Blog of Otis

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