People and fur people who are Disciples of The Leader Otis,
Ummm… It’s been kind of a weird week, to say the least. First I get accused of being up to something in Kitty Valhalla, and then when we all go up to Kitty Valhalla to see what I haven’t been up to… well… on second thought, I would rather not talk about that. I would rather talk about how Brother Henry has been trying to horn in on my special time with the bigger Guardian. You see, every night and morning, while the bigger Guardian is brushing his teeth, I wait for him on the back stairs. When he is done, he comes out of the bathroom and gives me pets. For some reason, Brother Henry has decided that he should get pets at these times as well! It’s not fair! this is the only time I get pets! I make it clear to Brother Henry that this is MY time and he should wait until later for his pets.
I told Brother Henry that he can have pets whenever he wants, but I can only have pets at these very specific times under these very specific circumstances. Do you know what he said to me? He said, “Sir Thomas, you can have pets any time you want as well. It’s just that you are choosing to only let the Guardian pet you at these specific times under these specific circumstances. It’s not my fault that you are making that choice!”
Can you believe he said that to me? I would have gone all “wiener slayer” on his butt, but I was too busy getting pets at the only time I could possibly get them.
I still cannot believe Brother H said that to me. Yeah, like I could really choose to have pets all the time if I wanted. It’s obvious that if I chose to let the Guardians pet me at some other time, something really horrible would happen. That is why, except at these very specific times and in this specific place, I run away when I see a hand coming toward me. Clearly, Brother Henry is delusional. It’s sad, really.