Disciples of The Leader Otis,
Brother Henry here.
When we last left off, Brother Oliver had joined me in Kitty Valhalla, and I was about to open the curtains so we could both get a good look at what Thomas has been hiding up there. I did just that, and both Brother Oliver and I were dumbstruck by the sight that lay before us.
Brother Oliver and I moved in closer so we could examine the terrifying collage that lay before us. Red lines radiated outward from a world map in the center of the collage. If we were interpreting what we were seeing correctly, Sir Thomas had uncovered a wiener dog conspiracy that spanned the globe!
There were wiener dogs wearing suits of armor and wieners outfitted for amphibious assault. There was an urban wiener dog assault vehicle called the “Wienermobile” and a terrifying genetically altered monster called a “Wiener Wolf”. Worst of all, there were several images of cats cavorting with wiener dogs. Over these images Thomas had taped the question “Traitor?”, I think rightfully so. My mind was reeling. I had to look away from that wall and gather my senses. As I sat and processed what I had seen, I heard Brother Oliver say, “What the fur!? There’s even a wiener dog disguised as a giraffe on here! I mean, they’re like 8 inches tall! Who do they think they’re fooling?”
As Brother Oliver continued to examine the wall, he kept remarking on what he saw. “Wieners taking on badgers? Really? I always thought Sir Thomas was exaggerating about the wiener dog’s combat capabilities! And here’s a wiener being pushed around in a stroller by a human! Do they have mind control capabilities similar to those that we cats possess?” Brother Oliver’s questions were really getting me worked up. I couldn’t stand still. I started pacing back and forth in Kitty Valhalla. I was so nervous though I was staying very low to the ground. Brother Oliver eventually told me to cut it out because I looked a little like a wiener dog.
I stopped pacing as Brother Oliver had requested. After examining the wall a little longer, Brother Oliver turned away from it and said, “I am guessing, Brother Henry, that Sir Thomas collected all of this material off of the internet. Assuming that, I see two possibilities. Either Sir Thomas has been right all along and the wiener dogs really are the greatest threat to our continued existence, or all of this stuff was made up, for unknown reasons, by the humans that control the internet. I hope for our sake it’s the latter, although I have no idea why humans would waste so much time making this stuff up. Whether it’s made up or not though, Sir Thomas clearly takes it seriously, and we’re probably going to need to confront him eventually about what we have found here.”
After speaking his mind, Brother Oliver got up and headed for the stairs. He instructed me to close the curtains and wipe out any paw prints or other traces that we had been in Valhalla. I did as instructed. As I headed downstairs, still processing all that I had seen, I heard Thomas’s voice coming up from the basement. I clearly heard him shout, “DIE WIENER, DIE!”, followed by a cry of “OUCH!” from Brother Oliver. Apparently, the Wiener Slayer score was now one to nothing.
So Says Brother Henry