People and fur people who are Disciples of The Leader Otis,
It all started this morning when I was sitting at the top of Super Outpost Tabby Tower. I was just minding my own business, but all of a sudden I wanted chicken. I mean, I always want chicken, but this time I really wanted some chicken!
I just sat there for several minutes wanting chicken, but then my wanting was interrupted when one of the Guardians’ hands appeared. It startled me, so I quickly stood up and raised my paw just in case I needed to remind the Guardian that I am wary of being touched. I know I should not be, but I am still trying to shake the leftover nervousness from spending the first year of my life in Limbo.
I retreated from the hand and regrouped on a lower platform of the Super Outpost. From this new angle, I noticed something interesting about the hand.
The hand appeared to be holding something. I reached out and put one paw on the hand so I could prevent it from moving or trying to pet me. Then I moved in for a closer look and a sniff.
It was chicken! I was amazed! I had been wanting chicken and now the Guardian was providing it! It was at that moment that I realized I might have some kind of mind control powers over the Guardians. It was also at that moment that I ate the chicken.
After eating the chicken, I concentrated hard thinking, “I want more chicken…” Suddenly the hand was back and it was holding more chicken! As I ate the second piece of chicken, I heard a voice below me say, “Hey! I want some chicken!” It was Brother Henry. He was trying to get the Guardian to give him some of the chicken I had rightly mind controlled her into giving me!
Brother Henry got very pushy. He even jumped up onto the platform on which I was enjoying my chicken and made me jump down. It must have broken my concentration because the Guardian pulled out another piece of chicken and gave it to Brother Henry instead of me! As Brother Henry began to eat the chicken I desperately tried to turn my mind control powers on him. I said, “Brother Henry! You want to give me that chicken!” He did not say anything because he was too busy eating my chicken.
At that point I realized that when I initially controlled the Guardian I had been at the top of Tabby Tower. I decided that maybe height was the key to effectively directing my mind control powers. I mean, I have heard that television and radio towers are super tall so the waves they send out can reach farther, so it kind of made sense that my brainwaves would transmit better from a higher perch.
After I jumped up to the higher platform, I went into a deep state of concentration. My eyes stared blankly ahead as I focused all of my energy on a thought that I directed at Brother Henry over and over. It was, “You will give me that chicken… you will give me that chicken…”
Just as I was sure Brother Henry was about to crack, I heard Brother Oliver shout from the next room, “Hey! Are you guys having chicken!?” Brother Henry and I both snapped our heads in that direction and then froze.
Brother Henry said, “Thomas, don’t answer him. If he finds out that we really are in here having chicken, he’s going to come in and want some. Then there will be less for us.” I replied, “Us, Brother Henry? It seems to me that you are the one eating all the chicken. I will tell you what… if you do not want me to tell Brother Oliver that we are in here, then you will give me at least some of that chicken!” Brother Henry grudgingly agreed to share. Apparently my mind control really does work!