People and fur people who are Disciples of The Leader Otis,
This morning, when I went into our Outdoor Domain, I discovered a small pile of dried plant material. It looked kind of like catnip, but I was pretty sure it was something else. I decided to investigate to try to figure out what it was. As I started sniffing the odd stuff, Brother Henry appeared in the doorway. He said, “Ummmm… Thomas… take it easy on that catnip.”
I told Brother Henry not to worry because I was pretty sure the dried plant was not catnip. He said, “Thomas, I’m positive that is catnip.” I said, “No. I think it’s something different. Let me just taste it a little and maybe that will help me identify it.”
As I continued sniffing and tasting the plant Brother Henry continued to warn me against doing so. I have no idea what he was so worried about. I mean, the plant was clearly not catnip. I ate a little more of the mystery plant and Brother Henry said, “Thomas, seriously, that’s the same catnip that knocked Stanley out the other day. It also swept Cookie off her feet.” I only half-heard what Brother Henry was saying because I was distracted by a giant wiener squirrel that was hopping around the yard. Cookie had told me about them but I thought she had just imagined them during a nip trip. I guess I was mistaken.
Brother Henry continued to blabber on about how I should not be eating so much of the plant because he was sure it was catnip, but I knew he was wrong. I knew he was wrong because the plant itself began to talk to me. I listened closely and I heard it say, “Thomas. I am not catnip. eat as much of me as you want.”
That is the last thing I remember. I woke up several hours later with my face in an empty food bowl and an achingly full belly. Brother Henry was nearby, and when I began to stir he said, “Soooo… Sir Thomas…. what do you think that plant was?” At that point, I had to admit, it might have been catnip.