Disciples of Otis,
Brother Oliver here.
Ummmmm… I don’t want to embarrass Cookie or anything, but what I saw today was a little bit disturbing. It started when the bigger Guardian opened the door that leads to our Outdoor Domain. I heard him say, “Oh hi Cookie! Let me get you some nip, girl!” He then retrieved a small baggie of nip from the cupboard and disappeared outside. When he came back in I heard Cookie say, “Well, well, well… what have we here?” I immediately went to the Outdoor Domain to investigate. Here is what I saw:
Cookie was rubbing her chin on the pile of catnip left by the Guardian.
Cookie paused for a moment, licking her lips. She said, “Hmmm… good vintage… 2011 I think…”
Cookie sat still for several seconds saying, “Wait for it… wait for it… hmmm… nothing.”
Cookie began to roll around in the catnip.
She rubbed her cheeks vigorously on the pile of nip.
She suddenly stopped and sat up. She licked her lips again saying, “Hmmmm… it smells and tastes right… but I still don’t feel a thing… weird.”
Cookie said, “All right, let’s get serious.” She rolled onto her side and rubbed her face in the nip with redoubled effort.
She began licking the nip off of her fur. She was ingesting an alarming amount of it!
Disappointed, Cookie stopped rolling and just laid still. She said, “I don’t understand! It smells like catnip. It tastes like catnip. Why doesn’t it feel like catnip? I…”
Suddenly, Cookie’s pupils became pinpoints, and she was gone. I mean… she was still laying right there, but she was gone.
Cookie had overdone it with the catnip, and she had become catatonic. I had no idea how long her catatonia would last, but I decided I better stick around in case she came back to consciousness and needed some guidance. After all, I am an expert in such things after helping Leader Otis after many overindulgences.
So Sayeth Brother Oliver
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