Disciples of The Leader Otis,
Brother Henry here.
So, Brother Oliver and I have been a bit concerned about the recent intensification of Sir Thomas’s wiener dog obsession. I mean, the kid has always been obsessed with these particular dogs, but for the past couple weeks it seems he can think of little else. It has gotten so bad that Brother Oliver and I decided to try to distract our resident knight with a little ruse we devised.
The idea was that Brother Oliver would pretend to have become addicted to catnip bananas just like Leader Otis used to be. Whenever He had one of His weak moments, Brother Oliver or I would drop everything and try to talk Him down. Our hope was that, if Brother Oliver appeared to be, as it is known on the street, “peeling”, that Sir Thomas would forget about wiener dogs and try to intervene to help Brother O.
It started with Brother Oliver laying in the middle of the living room, vigorously snuggling, biting, and kicking a catnip banana. I was hiding over behind the cat tree with a camera to document our master plan. After Brother Oliver yelled out, “Ohhhhh bnanana! How I love your peely goodness!” a couple times, Thomas showed up to investigate.
Thomas looked at Brother Oliver briefly, but he did not say anything. Instead, he began to look around the room. He looked over toward the front door…
… and then he looked back over his shoulder.
Next he looked over toward the cat tree behind which I was hiding.
Thomas continued to stare in my direction for a moment, and then his eyes narrowed.
Next, Thomas leaned down and put his face close to Brother Oliver’s head. He appeared to be whispering something to him.
At this point, Brother Oliver abruptly stood up. He and Thomas stared at each other for several seconds. Neither of them said a word.
Brother Oliver then quickly left the room. Sir Thomas had a serious look on his face as he watched him depart.
I caught up with Brother Oliver later and asked him what the heck Sir Thomas had said to him. Brother Oliver said, “He said, ‘I know what you and Brother Henry are trying to do, but think about this for a moment. What if I am right? What if, at this very moment, the wiener dogs are taking advantage of this distraction you have created for me and they are in the kitchen raiding our stash of freeze-dried chicken treats?'”
I looked at Brother Oliver for a moment and then said, “So the chicken treats were OK, right!?” He replied, “Yes they….errrrr…. I mean, well, half of them were gone, but I can’t confirm whether or not any wiener activity was involved…” At that moment I noticed the fine dusting of chicken powder on the fur around Brother Oliver’s mouth, and I told him I was pretty sure we could rule out the wieners.
So Says Brother Henry