Disciples of The Leader Otis,
Brother Henry here.
Yesterday, when I was using the “kitty facilities” at the bottom of the steps to Kitty Valhalla, I thought I heard the sound of a voice coming from up there. After I completed my business, I snuck up the stairs to investigate. As I neared the top of the staircase, I heard the voice again. It was Thomas. He was speaking in a whisper, but I clearly heard him say, “Yes, my minions, you shall be my army. Together we will stand strong against the untold legions of wiener dogs that are plotting against us even as we speak. When they come for us, we will be ready. None shall withstand our plush counterattack! The wieners shall receive no quarter! No mercy! We shall…”
Thomas suddenly fell silent as I topped the stairs and came into his line of sight. I looked at him. He looked at me. Neither of us spoke for a moment.
I broke the silence by saying, “Sir Thomas? What are you doing up here?” Thomas replied, “Uhhhh… well, Brother Henry, I… ummm… I was just meditating here on the Sacred Orange Pillow of Enlightenment!” I said, “Really, Sir Thomas? Because I thought I heard…” Thomas cut me off by saying, “Uhhh… all you heard was me meditating, Brother Henry. See?” And then Thomas closed his eyes and started saying, “Meohm… Meohm… Meohm”, as if he were trying to induce a meditative state.
Although I knew for a fact that Thomas had not been meditating, I decided not to stick around and argue with him. I had better things to do… plus, all those plush animals were kind of freaking me out.
So Says Brother Henry