Disciples of Otis,
Brother Oliver here. I thought it was the best idea for a Catsmas surprise ever. The Guardian had left the wrapping paper right there on the floor. It would be so easy!
My plan was to wrap myself in the paper turning myself into a kitty shaped Catsmas present. I would then ask Brother Henry to put all of your addresses on the outside of the package and drop me in the mail. That way I would be dropped off at each of your houses and when you brought me inside I would burst out of the wrapping paper shouting “Merry Catsmas!”. When I got myself mostly wrapped, I told Brother Henry my plan, but I did not get the response from him that I expected.
Brother Henry was sitting on one of the Guardian’s laps nearby. I had expected him to get all excited when I told him what I was doing. I thought he would immediately jump down and help put my plan into action. Instead, he started laughing! He said, “Brother Oliver! That will never work! The mail people aren’t going to deliver you to hundreds of different people all over the world! Plus, you know very well that cats, dogs, and other animals should never be given as presents! What kind of message will it send if you arrive at people’s houses wrapped up in a package?”
Feeling a little deflated I said, “OK Brother Henry, then how do you suggest I wish all Disciples of Otis a Merry Catsmas?”, to which he replied, “Ummm… how about you just say it in the blog?” I admit, if kitties could blush, I would have. But I felt a little annoyed that Brother Henry was right, so I said, “Yeah, OK, that’s all well and good, but what do you suggest I do with this wrapping paper then? Should it just go to waste?” Brother Henry said, “Hmmm… well, no… I think you should ask Thomas what to do with it. I bet he’ll have a suggestion for you.” So I did ask Thomas… and he did have a suggestion.
So, Merry Catsmas from the Wolf Eel, and all of the rest of us here at The Cult of Otis. May your day be filled with love, joy, and lots of kitties.
In Otis’s Name