A Troubling Discovery

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here. This morning, as I do every morning, I was patrolling the house for any signs of an impending attack by The Mongrel Horde. All seemed quiet, but as I was making my way through the kitchen I heard Brother Oliver in the living room exclaiming “What the fur!” in a startled tone. Fearing the worst, I rushed into the living room fully prepared to do battle with what I assumed would be a full contingent of terrierists finally initiating The Long-feared Dog Uprising. What I found instead was Brother Oliver sitting on a cardboard scratcher that looked remarkably like a wiener dog.

Oliver on wiener bench

I rushed into the living room to fine Brother Oliver sitting on, and staring at, a wiener dog scratcher.

For a moment, I was speechless. Finally, finding my words, I said, “Brother Oliver? Where the heck did that thing come from?” Clearly having difficulty finding his own words, Brother Oliver replied, “I… I have no idea, Brother Henry. When I plopped down on it I thought it was just one of our normal posing benches, but then I looked down and saw the wiener dog… wait… oh my gosh! Do you think Thomas has seen this yet!?” The thought concerned us both, and we shared a worried glance with one another.

Henry with Oliver on wiener bench

Brother Oliver asked if I thought Thomas had seen the bench. We then shared a concerned glance.

Brother Oliver and I both know our resident knight is prone to overreacting when it comes to what he calls “the dastardly wiener dogs”, so I quickly devised a plan. I told Brother Oliver to stay put and try to conceal the wiener dog if Thomas entered the room. I then headed off to see if I could find Thomas so I could gently prepare him for the sight of a simulated wiener dog in our living space… assuming, of course, that he hadn’t already seen it.

As I left the living room, I passed the Guardians who were now both standing in the kitchen. Strangely, I heard one Guardian say, “That wiener dog scratcher you bought is awesome!”, and the other Guardian replied, “What wiener dog scratcher?” Now even more puzzled, I headed off to search the rest of the house for the often well hidden Sir Thomas.

So Says Brother Henry

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17 Comments

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17 responses to “A Troubling Discovery

  1. *claps paws to mouth!*. Oh noes! Sir Thomas must not see that Weiner woofie! Prepare him gently Brother Oliver and Henry.

  2. Well, that is one wiener dog you guys can get your claws into!

  3. mistletoeandhitch

    Perhaps Sir Thomas has procured the simulated Wiener Dog for training purposes?

  4. weird….hopefully Thomas doesn’t explode when he hears the news

  5. Is this how the wiener dog infiltration begins? With a seemingly harmless, even useful object? Don’t be thrown off your guard, boys! Tell Mama Cat to be extra vigilant from the top of Super Outpost Tabby Tower.

  6. *cue scary music* duh-duh-dunnnnnn…..

  7. Mouesiez Brother henry we iz on da edge of da couch reedin diz!!! Sir Thomas will *flip hiz fur* fer shure if he seez da cardbored weiner poochie…Now how did it get into da house?? Dere iz a misstery here…me finkz da Guardianz nose more den dey iz sayin…. 😉
    Yerz Nylablue n Mum
    Pee Ess: Brother Oliver haz lubly paw padz…..

  8. It just has to be for training purposes!! Who is visiting for turkey day? Perhaps they brought it.

  9. Highly dubious indeed!!! surely it was a mistake..surely 😉 hugs Fozziemum xx

  10. Holy Cod. We pray it’s not a Trojan Wiener Dog, filled to the brim with woofies from all of Sir Thomas’ nightmares!

  11. I think the Guardians are hoping you’ll attack this Wiener dog and leave their furniture alone. Humans can be a devious lot!

  12. It’s the ideal practice target for preparing to fight the LFDU.

  13. Oh no.. poor sir Thomas. Maybe mama cat will come to the rescue.

  14. Hee hee it’s started I can see you are confused *insert evil villain type laugh here*

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