Disciples of The Leader Otis,
Brother Henry here. This morning, as I do every morning, I was patrolling the house for any signs of an impending attack by The Mongrel Horde. All seemed quiet, but as I was making my way through the kitchen I heard Brother Oliver in the living room exclaiming “What the fur!” in a startled tone. Fearing the worst, I rushed into the living room fully prepared to do battle with what I assumed would be a full contingent of terrierists finally initiating The Long-feared Dog Uprising. What I found instead was Brother Oliver sitting on a cardboard scratcher that looked remarkably like a wiener dog.
For a moment, I was speechless. Finally, finding my words, I said, “Brother Oliver? Where the heck did that thing come from?” Clearly having difficulty finding his own words, Brother Oliver replied, “I… I have no idea, Brother Henry. When I plopped down on it I thought it was just one of our normal posing benches, but then I looked down and saw the wiener dog… wait… oh my gosh! Do you think Thomas has seen this yet!?” The thought concerned us both, and we shared a worried glance with one another.
Brother Oliver and I both know our resident knight is prone to overreacting when it comes to what he calls “the dastardly wiener dogs”, so I quickly devised a plan. I told Brother Oliver to stay put and try to conceal the wiener dog if Thomas entered the room. I then headed off to see if I could find Thomas so I could gently prepare him for the sight of a simulated wiener dog in our living space… assuming, of course, that he hadn’t already seen it.
As I left the living room, I passed the Guardians who were now both standing in the kitchen. Strangely, I heard one Guardian say, “That wiener dog scratcher you bought is awesome!”, and the other Guardian replied, “What wiener dog scratcher?” Now even more puzzled, I headed off to search the rest of the house for the often well hidden Sir Thomas.
So Says Brother Henry