Disciples of Otis,
Brother Oliver here. We were all very excited when Mama Cat announced earlier this week that she wanted to do her first official blog post. Even though she has little patience with all of us man cats, we all feel like the fact that she spent 14 years in Limbo makes her uniquely qualified to speak on behalf of all the other Limbo kitties out there. She is, after all, The Essence of The Cult of Otis.
The only problem is…well… during her 14 years in Limbo Mama Cat had limited exposure to computers or other technology. Still, when she asked to do a blog post, I assumed that maybe she had learned about the computer by watching the rest of us work on it. I assumed wrong. When Mama Cat approached the computer to work on her blog post, I was watching from across the room. It was a little embarrassing.
First, Mama Cat tried talking into the corner of the screen. I heard her say, “People and fur people who are Disciples of Otis…”, and I knew immediately that Thomas had been coaching her on at least content, if not the technical details of how to write a blog post.
I said, “Ummm… Mama Cat? You can’t write a blog post like that. You need to use the keyboard.” Mama Cat replied, “What? Oh. Keyboard. Yes. There are letters on that, so I guess it makes sense that I would use that to get letters on the screen.” She then put her face down by the keyboard and said, “People and fur people who are Disciples of Otis…”
Annoyed, Mama Cat said, “Nothing’s happening!” I tried to be helpful saying, “Wait Mama Cat. Let’s start at the beginning. The first thing you need to do is make sure the computer’s power light is lit.” Mama Cat said, “Make sure the power light is licked? That’s weird… but OK, Brother Oliver, if you say so. I’m guessing this is the power light?” Mama Cat then proceeded to lick the desk lamp sitting next to the computer.
As Mama Cat licked the light she said, “Ith et wooking, Brutha Othifa?”, and I said, “No! No! No! Mama Cat!” Before I could say anything else, Mama Cat stopped licking the lamp and walked over to the Sacred Fountain of Eternal Hydration. Her tongue was sticking out and she said, “Bleah! You toms need to dust that thing once in awhile! We are not amused!”
After drinking from the cool waters of the SFOEH, Mama Cat said, “Well, I think I’m done blogginizing for today. I’m pretty sure I have a grasp on the basics now though, so I’m sure I will be bloggerating like crazy in no time.” She then climbed up to the top of Super Outpost Tabby Tower and quickly fell asleep. I can’t say that I shared her confidence in her newly developed “blogginizing” skills.
So Sayeth Brother Oliver