Disciples of The Leader Otis,
Brother Henry here. Ever since Mama Cat was swept up in The Capture, she and I have had a bit of a struggle getting along. Well… to be truthful, it’s mostly been her struggling to get along with me. Our main source of conflict has been her insistence on taking over Super Outpost Tabby Tower. It has become her go-to lounging spot despite the fact that it is the most strategically important security structure in the house!
Now, I’m not an unreasonable cat. I’m more than willing to share Tabby Tower with Mama Cat, but I’ve tried to do just that on many occasions without success. Every time I climb up on the tower I get the same response, a big ol’ hissy fit from Mama Cat.
Making matters worse, whenever Mama Cat throws a hissy fit, Sir Thomas yells “Protect The Queen!” and comes running. Despite his knighthood I think he still respects my authority as head of Cult security, so he doesn’t attack me or anything. What he does do is give me the meanest face he can manage, which is a little unnerving despite the fact that I outweigh him by a good five pounds.
So I officially concede. Mama Cat can have Super Outpost Tabby Tower. Who needs this headache? Sure it might make us more vulnerable in the event of an attack by The Mongrel Horde, but I guess the most important thing is that Mama Cat gets her way. Then again, I pity the dog that tries to take Tabby Tower with Mama Cat on it. Anyway, I’ve discovered a much better security outpost on which to sit sentry duty. It’s a bit shorter, but there’s just something about it.
OK, I’ll admit it. The new tower is not really a tower. It’s just the bench in front of the computer desk. But it really is better than the Super Outpost Tabby Tower! Why you ask? Well, because this new security “tower” has something the SOTT does not.
See! What it lacks in height, it makes up for in sheer toastiness. I dub this new security station Super-duper Outpost Toasty Tower! Take that Mama Cat! Wait… no… why are you coming over here? Mama Cat! I didn’t mean that you should literally take it! NO! STOP HISSING! Crap… hi Thomas.
So Says Brother Henry