People and fur people who like The Leader… wait… Brother Oliver told me that I’ve been doing this wrong. Let me start again.
People and fur people who are Disciples of Otis,
It’s Thomas. I do not know why, but ever since The Leader departed I have felt like I need to be a little bit closer to the Guardians. I have stopped running under the couch every time they walk by, and I have even begun to lounge out in the open when they are in the living room. Like I said, I do not know why I feel like this, but I do. Maybe I am being moved by the spirit of Leader Otis…
Anyway, the other day, I was standing at the top of the stairs when I heard one of the Guardians approaching. In the past, I would have run away, but for some reason I did not feel like running. I just stood at the top of the stairs and waited, but I have to admit I did not expect to see what I saw coming up the stairs!
The Guardian was coming up the stairs with Her Majesty The Queen on one shoulder and Brother Oliver on the other! I was shocked! Her Majesty has very little tolerance for any of us lesser cats coming within ten feet of Her, but there She was squished up against Brother O! I could not believe what I was seeing. I retreated a few steps but turned back around to look as the Guardian entered the kitchen. Now Brother Oliver was looking over at Her Majesty. He looked as amazed as I was.
The Guardian turned around and I, being as shadow, snuck in closer. I whispered, “Your Majesty! What are you doing!? Why are you not upset that you are squished up against Brother Oliver like that?” Her Majesty replied, “What are you talking about Sir Thomas? I… I didn’t get a good look when the Guardian scooped Me up, but I could clearly feel that she was carrying an overstuffed pillow on her other arm! Do you mean to say that Brother Oliver is on the pillow or something?” I said, “Ummmm… no… uhhhh… Your Majesty… I mean to say that Brother Oliver is the pillow.”
Her Majesty’s response was immediate. She said, “We are not amused!” and then began to try to squirm out of the Guardian’s arms. From the look on Brother Oliver’s face, I think that he also was not amused.
After successfully breaking free from the Guardian, Her Majesty The Queen Mama Cat jumped down to the floor and ran off down the hallway. After she disappeared, I looked up to find Brother Oliver staring at me with a very disapproving look. He said, “I am an overstuffed pillow, Sir Thomas?” Before I even knew I was saying it, I replied, “Well Brother Oliver, if the butt fits… wear it…” And then I quickly headed off to locate and protect The Queen.