People and fur people who like The Leader Otis,
It’s Thomas. I need to tell you what happened last night. One of the Guardians trampled all over one of our venerated Cult rituals and observances! There is an unspoken order to things here in The Kingdom of Otis. There are rules that must be followed. One of those rules is that any time the bigger Guardian brushes his teeth, he must come up to Kitty Valhalla afterward and pet or brush me.
I heard the Guardian begin brushing his teeth last night, and I heard him finish. That was my cue to run to the stairs and give him the traditional pre-stair climb greeting which indicates that he has my permission to enter Kitty Valhalla with me. Imagine my shock when I found the hallway next to the stairs completely empty. Imagine my further shock when I climbed the stairs, peeked into Valhalla and discovered that the Guardian had entered without my permission!
This flagrant disregard for routine put me on high alert. I mean… disregarding the usual order of things is something a wiener dog would do. How else can you explain their ridiculously long bodies and comically short legs!? I guess the Guardian must have realized he made a mistake, because he apologized to me and began giving me pets. I accepted his apology reluctantly, but I continued to eye him with my most disapproving expression.
When I determined that I had expressed the proper level of dissatisfaction with his actions, I settled in and enjoyed the rest of the night’s pets.
After about 10 minutes of pets, the Guardian said he needed to go to bed. I disagreed. I thought that since he had broken all the rules, he needed to at least double the length of the session. As he got up to leave, I first stood at the top of the steps to block his exit. Then, when he tried to step over me, I whacked him hard on the lower leg. I am an honorable knight, so I didn’t extend my claws when I whacked him, but I know that the Guardian knows I could have. I’m pretty sure he will be thinking about that tonight while he is brushing his teeth, and afterward we shall see if he has learned his lesson.