When we left off yesterday, Brother Oliver contended that he was panting for the Guardian because she was stressed and could not pant. Ummmm…yeah. Anyway, here’s Brother Oliver with the rest of his tall… errrr… harrowing tale.
“So, after I calmed the Guardian down a little bit with my panting, the good people from The Bad Place came into the room. One of them held me tight, probably because he needed to absorb some of my calmness, while the other one squeezed my head and stuck himself in the eye with a weird flashlight. I’m not sure what that was about.”
“Next they repositioned me on the table and, for the first time during the visit, I became somewhat alarmed as I felt one of them lift my tail.”
I interrupted Brother Oliver at this point saying, “Oh no! No! No! No! They didn’t, did they? They took your…” Brother Oliver finished my sentence.
“Yes, Leader Otis, they did. They took my temp-shure. At that point, thankfully, I completely blacked out.”
“When I came back to consciousness, I found myself back here in the living room standing next to the portable kitty jail. I was left with a vague impression of a conversation in which I heard that my eye was looking better… hmmmm… but I remember something else as well…”
I asked Brother Oliver what else he remembered. A soft voice from under the couch said, “Was it about wiener dogs?”, but Brother Oliver didn’t seem to hear it.
“Well, Leader Otis, I remember the good people at The Bad Place saying that I weigh 19 pounds! Can you believe it!? Brother Henry is 17 pounds of tabby fury, but it seems that I have two more pounds of fury than he does! I am 19 pounds of tabby fury!”
Before I even realized what I was saying I mumbled, “More like 19 pounds of tabby flabby…” Brother Oliver said, “What? What did you say, Leader Otis?”
Without thinking, I accidentally let a rude comment about Brother Oliver’s physique slip out.
I said, “Ummm… nothing, Brother Oliver! What? What Brother Henry? You need me to come to the back hallway right away? OK!” Then I got up and moved as fast as I could out of the living room. Unfortunately, that’s not that fast these days. As I was leaving, I heard Mama Cat say, “Where’s Leader Otis going?”
As I was leaving, I heard Mama Cat ask Brother Oliver where I was going.
I heard Brother Oliver answer her saying, “I think he’s leaving because he just insulted me, Mama Cat…”, and, now fading in the distance, I heard Mama Cat reply, “He did? Was it because your butt’s getting kind of fat?”
So Sayeth Otis
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