Yesterday Brother Oliver and I decided to take a nap on the couch. We got all snuggled in and began to fall asleep, but our peace and quiet was suddenly disrupted by voices coming from underneath us. Apparently, Brother Henry and Sir Thomas were having some kind of security meeting under the couch.
The conversation below us sounded serious, and we couldn’t help but listen in. I heard something about an emerging threat, and something weird in a photo from the specialty Bad Place. I was alarmed by what I was hearing.
The conversation continued, and I heard something about someone creating an unstoppable, snakelike wiener dog. Now I was really becoming alarmed. I sat up, preparing to retreat to some safe haven. The problem was, it sounded like nowhere would be safe from this new threat. After I sat up, I heard Brother Henry say, “I… I thought I heard something slithering.” That alarmed Me even more!
At this point Brother Oliver whispered, “Leader Otis, don’t go. Lay back down. Everything is fine. There is no mutant wiener snake”. Trusting Brother Oliver’s wisdom, I laid back down. As I did so, Brother Henry came out from under the couch and exited the room. Brother Oliver saw him go and let out a short burst of laughter.
I asked Brother Oliver what was so funny and he said, “Well, I saw the photo of the supposed wiener snake that Brother Henry was talking about. It is actually just a simplified version of a dog spinal column. They probably use it at The Bad Place to show dog people where their dogs are injured. They just left off the rest of the skeleton because that’s not the part they were focusing on. It just makes sense.” And, of course, what Brother Oliver was saying did make sense. The thought of a genetically engineered wiener snake did seem pretty silly. I chuckled as I realized how naive I had been.
Since Brother Oliver was now fully awake, he decided to get down and go have a snack. He must have run into Brother Henry on the way, because I heard Brother Henry crawl back under the couch and tell Sir Thomas to stand down. He then crawled back out again and left. As he departed I heard the voice of Mama Cat coming from the nearby Super Outpost Tabby Tower. She said, “Mancats are so weird…” Then she rolled over and went back to sleep. I decided to do the same.
So Sayeth Otis