Emerging Threat

People and fur people who like The Leader Otis,

It’s Thomas. This morning, while I was hanging out at my forward base of operations under the couch, Brother Henry came to me with a look of concern on his face.Β He said, “Sir Thomas, we may have a problem. I have discovered a photo on a camera belonging to the Guardians. It was mixed in with photos that were taken at the specialty Bad Place where Leader Otis had all those tests a couple months ago. I think the photo indicates that we have an emerging threat… one that we never could have imagined. Take a look. I left the photo up on the camera right over there by the ottoman.” He turned his head to indicate where the camera was. I looked, and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

Henry and Thomas under couch 1

Brother Henry motioned to the photo he was talking about. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

I said, “No way…” And Brother Henry said, “I know, Sir Thomas, I was shocked as well. I know you have long held that the wieners are the most dangerous ground troops in The Mongrel Horde. Perhaps I have not taken your concerns quite as seriously I should have. If this photograph is what I think it is, the wieners are about to become even more dangerous…” I was still fixated on the photo. My mind was reeling. Could it be? Could agents of The Long-feared (Wiener) Dog Uprising really be working on a genetically engineered, legless wiener dog!? The evidence was staring us right in the face.

Wiener Python

The evidence was right there. The LF(W)DU is clearly working on a legless wiener.

Slowly, the full implications of what I was seeing began to sink in. I said, “Brother Henry, because of their ridiculously short legs, wiener dogs can already get into most tight spaces where we kitties can hide. But this new, snakelike wiener will be able to squeeze into even tighter spaces. No kitty will be safe if they succeed in creating this abomination!” Brother Henry said, ” I know, Thomas, but…” Brother Henry suddenly fell silent and looked back over his shoulder. I said, “What!? What is it!?” Brother Henry replied, “I… I thought I heard something slithering.”

Henry and Thomas under couch 2

Brother Henry stopped mid-sentence. He said he thought he heard something slithering.

Brother Henry said, “Sir Thomas, I need to go check this out. If a mutant wiener snake has infiltrated The Leader’s Indoor Domain, we are all in danger. You stay here. I will signal if I need backup.” I did as instructed.

Thomas under couch,

Brother Henry went to see if we had been infiltrated by a mutant wiener snake. I stayed put as instructed.

As Brother Henry left, I thought for a moment that I heard some laughter followed by a muffled conversation. I can’t be sure though. After about 10 minutes, Brother Henry poked his head into my forward base of operations and said, “Stand down, Sir Thomas, there is no mutant wiener snake. This has all been a big misunderstanding.” When I asked him how he could be sure there was no wiener snake, Brother Henry simply said, “Trust me, Sir Thomas. We got some bad intelligence on this one.” Then he left.

I believed Brother Henry that the intelligence was wrong, and that there was no mutant wiener snake, but I was still pretty shaken up by the thought of such a beast. I guess the drawing in the photo must have just been the result of some crazy person’s imagination. I mean, a mutant wiener snake? Nope. No sane person or fur person would have come up with that.

Thomas Out

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Filed under Daily Life

27 responses to “Emerging Threat

  1. Stay safe Sir T…keep Leader O well guarded

  2. Oh, poor Thomas! What a scare you had! Do you think that perhaps Brother Henry was … I hesitate to suggest it … but no. I’m sure he would NEVER deliberately tease you. It must have been, as he said, “bad intelligence.” And that fiendish drawing is clearly the work of a creature with thumbs.

  3. Poor Thomas, living in fear of Wiener dogs. Margaret Rey’s “Pretzel” would be an intense horror novel for the Whiskered Knight!

  4. Larry Niven wrote an SF novel (World out of Time) that had cats with no legs (dubbed cat-tails) were genetically engineered in the far future. This might be the answer to the wiener snake threat.

  5. emilykarn

    Dear Thomas, It’s sad to say but Brother Henry was obviously “pulling your legs”. Keep strong. Selleck and His Person, Emily.

  6. Oh no what on earth would the world end up like with legless weiner dogs!!! perhaps I should look more closely but at a safe distance at our snakes here!!! perhaps they are just weiner dogs….which I think I may prefer πŸ˜‰ Hugs Fozziemum xx

  7. Don’t worry Sir Thomas. I feel Brother H was just passing along what he saw that was obviously the wanderings of a bored Guardian’s mind. I know the weiners are loved (by poor humans that don’t know the true love of a feline companion) for their short little legs that make them almost comical to watch when running. There would surely be a great uproar from those misguided humans if the legs were taken away completely. I feel confident you will remain vigilant though for any other attempts to mutate the weiners in any way.

  8. Whew – we almost thought there was one in theneighborhood….but it turned out just to be such a fat one, that it’s legs were almost invisible…RC says it’s a ruse so the owner will carry it everywhere – She indeed does, but the dog is so old maybe that’s for the best….Molly want you to know all that carrying has gone to the dog’s little head and it feels brave and secure barking angrily at anything and everything it passes in route….she is waiting and promises to squash it flat it she ever manages to get a chance. So don’t worry about the ancient log dog here!

  9. Yow me n Mum smell a ‘rat’ here Sir Thomas…we finkz da Brother Henry n da Guardianz played a nastee trick on ya…dere iz s’umfing wrong in Denmark’ az Mum wuud say….me finkz ya need to put in sum closed sirkit TV n watch yer Guardianz a bit closer…. πŸ˜‰
    Nylablue n Sherriellen xo

  10. Poor sir Thomas. That is terribly frightening. I will make sure our cats are on alert. Stay safe sir Thomas.

  11. A wiener snake?? You better stay under the bed for right now, Sir Thomas.

  12. Sandra Marshall

    Hello! I just noticed that your Zazzle store seems to only have t-shirts at the moment. I had recently ordered a mug, and was planning on ordering more things soon. Has the store changed?

    Thanks so much!



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