I Thought I Heard A Wiener

People and fur people who like The Leader Otis,

It’s Thomas. I have been a little bit paranoid ever since Leader Otis said He heard a pack of crazed wieners in front of the house on Sunday. By the end of the day, The Leader said He was pretty sure the threat had passed, but I am not so sure. That is why I have once again become as shadow. I have cloaked Myself in darkness here beneath the couch so that I may leap out and surprise any elongated canine foes that dare to invade The Leader’s Indoor Domain.

Thomas under couch 1

I am as shadow, and I am on the lookout for elongated canine foes.

Although it is true that I am now Sir Thomas, first knight of The Cult of Otis, and The Heart of our cause, I am also still Secret Agent T, silent watcher in the shadows, and worst nightmare of all canine agents of The Long Feared (Wiener) Dog Uprising! You see, I… HUH!? What was that? I… I thought I heard wiener…

Thomas under couch 2

Did you hear that? I thought I heard a wiener…

OK. It looks like stuff is about to get real. I need you to be prepared for what you are about to see. I need you to understand that it will not be pretty. I can give this wiener no quarter. If I show him mercy, he will run on his comically stubby little legs back to his pack, and then he will return with a wiener assault force. One wiener I can handle, but a squad of five or six highly trained assault wieners? Let’s just say that unless I had Brother Henry for backup, the odds would not be in my favor.

Thomas under couch 3

Prepare yourself. It looks like stuff is about to get real.

Hmmmm… I can still hear him out there, but I just heard something strange. It sounded like a drawer opening. Can wieners open drawers? Wait… can wieners open DOORS? If not, how did this wiener even get inside?

Thomas under couch 4

What the? Can wieners open drawers?

Oh man. What if everything I thought I knew about wiener dogs was wrong? What if… what if they are not only squat and long, but they also have thumbs! Oh my gosh! Thumbed wiener dogs!? That would completely throw off the feline/canine power balance! They could even open their own cans of food which would completely negate the need for a human in their supply chain! I must warn Leader Otis and Brother Henry! I must…AHHHHHHH! BRIGHT LIGHT!

Thomas under couch 5

BRIGHT LIGHT!

Oh… it’s just the bigger Guardian. He has a flashlight and he is shining it under here. You know, it was probably him opening that drawer. I bet the light was in there. Come to think of it, it was probably him I was hearing all along.

Well, the wiener threat has not materialized, and my cover is blown, so I guess I might as well head back up to headquarters in Kitty Valhalla and call it a night. Still… tonight has raised some very serious questions as to the true capabilities of the dastardly wieners. Perhaps a little research is in order…

Thomas Out

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21 Comments

Filed under Daily Life

21 responses to “I Thought I Heard A Wiener

  1. Those eyes are just delightful ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Those wieners can get into all kinds of mischief.

  3. Maybe Thomas would be more comfortable if he had a training device.. http://www.chewy.com/cat/fat-cat-classic-appeteasers-cat-toy/dp/40042

    • Funny you mention this, Connie. I actually found and ordered a different training device to raise my wiener dog readiness. I am now waiting for it to arrive. Don’t tell anyone though. I do not want the Guardians to know that I figured out how to use their credit card! – Thomas

  4. Connie, you found Sir Thomas the perfect toy! Though he might not be reassured to see that the Cocktail Weiner Dog has fairly long fingers, one of which might function as a thumb.

  5. Did anybody ever tell you you look like a lion with your neck fur fluffed out?

  6. Sir Thomas, we pity the wiener dog who ever crosses your path. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. Chris, Buggy, Bunk, Monster and Sausage

    Oh my, a thumbed wiener is truly a terrifying vision!

  8. Sir Thomas you had me in a sweat!! the weiners down our street..yes two are sometimes standing on their property looking out..i giggle because they look even tinier on 10 acres!! perspective my sweet friend ๐Ÿ˜‰ Hugs Fozziemum xx

  9. emilykarn

    Your eyes are gorgeous Sir Thomas! Don’t sweat the thumbed weiners, some Cats are also evolving thumbs for opening things. My Person used to know two of them. Selleck and His Person, Emily.

  10. Nylablue: *swooning & lying on the couch with a dazed look on her face*
    Sherri-Ellen: Hello Sir Thomas I wanted to say on behalf of the swooning Nylablue & myself that you are one stalwart & dedicated Knight protecting Leader Otis & the Brothers & momma from those feared Weiner dogs….
    We are relieved it was a flase alarm. maybe the Guardians are trying to help prepare you for any invasions?? Guess they have to use the element of surprise?? Well done again!!!!
    Nylablue: *purring & rolling around like a baby kit*
    Sherri-Ellen: I am sorry Sir Thomas but you seem to have a very powerful effect on Nylablue…..
    Sherri-Ellen & Nylablue xo

  11. Dear Sir Thomas: Such stout bravery! On the other paw, thank you so very much for making me laugh in the face of horror: seriously. Thumbed wiener dogs? It’s positively Wagnerian. Carry on, dear Heart and Cohort.

  12. Pingback: Monday Meowsie News…Beware! They are coming… | Savannah's Paw Tracks

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