Finally, The Package Has Been Opened

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here. After the altercation between Brother Henry and me, the Guardians entered the room and opened the stinky, mystery package. Inside was a paper-wrapped bundle of delicious stink the likes of which my nose had never smelled. According to the label, it was an ounce of valerian root. I felt like we had struck the stink jackpot!

valerian root

We had struck the stink jackpot!

Brother Henry didn’t even notice the stink packet that had been inside the box because he was too busy losing himself in the box itself. Apparently the cardboard had absorbed some of the stink, and Brother Henry could not stop sniffing it.

Henry, valerian root box 1

Brother Henry could not stop sniffing the stinky box.

After taking repeated, deep inhalations of the box vapors, Brother Henry fell over on his side. He laid his cheek on the box and kept huffing in the scent. I started to get a little concerned about him.

Henry, valerian root 2

Brother Henry laid on his side and kept sniffing the box deeply.

Next, Brother Henry started rolling around on the floor with his paws out in front of him. His claws were extended, and he said, “Brother Oliver! The air is slippery! I can’t seem to get a grip!”

Brother Henry tripping

Brother Henry said that the air was slippery and he couldn’t get a grip.

Just as I was about to go see if I could help Brother Henry, one of the Guardians stuck something under my nose. It was a little baggie that had been wrapped in the paper from the stinky package. The baggie contained the valerian root that was the source of all the stink. Before I even thought about what I was doing, I stuck my nose up to the open baggie and took a  sniff of the contents.

Oliver sniffing valerian root.

Without thinking, I took a big sniff of the valerian root.

That is the last thing I remember from that day. I awoke 24 hours later sitting in a pile of socks and underpants in the Guardians’ closet. Someone had hacked up a large hairball nearby, probably me, and the stink of the root still clung faintly to my fur. As I trudged my way to the nearest water bowl for a much needed sip, I suddenly had the thought that we should do everything in our power to keep this valerian root out of the paws of The Leader. With His past addiction problems, who knows what effect this stuff would have on Him. I shudder at the thought.

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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26 Comments

Filed under Daily Life

26 responses to “Finally, The Package Has Been Opened

  1. I didn’t know cats liked Valerian Root.

  2. Way to go Katnip Lounge! Just what Leader O needs….so,etching to space him out a bit…pawsome, Savvy

  3. mistletoeandhitch

    Our HuMom wonders if Valerian Tea would have the same effect on kitties? Someone gave her some to help her sleep but she couldn’t bring herself to drink something so stinky. I bet we get to check it out before the day’s done. Well, Brother Oliver, we think Brother Henry should be more understanding of your desire to open the box after his reaction to the Valerian Root soaked cardboard. We’re glad your back with us after your Valerian Root experience. Hopefully Brother Henry is recovering too.
    Purrs
    Mistletoe & Hitch
    rwb

  4. Uh oh! I hope the leader doesn’t find out about it! He might find it for sure!

  5. Root of the trouble? It’s organic – can’t be bad….in small quantities!

  6. Ooh! A surprise twist ending to the Stinky Package Saga. I thought it was going to be catnip.

  7. MOL! We think a valerian root intervention may be needed!

  8. OMC, we had no idea that cats would be interested in valerian root. That looks like it’s as powerful as catnip. We could almost smell it through the computer monitor.

  9. Oh goodness..Valerian Root….is this like a designer nip perhaps..sold in cool cat clubs? oh no…..what has the world come to when human things are so attractive to such smart felines!! intervention indeed and a detox 🙂
    stay strong Brother Oliver !! Hugs Fozziemum xx

  10. ena

    Obviously you all love your “nip” and now your “root”. You might like to clue the guardians in on something the cats I have loved found even better than “nip” and that is honeysuckle. It can be in a bag or log in sawdust form, or in slices. They love to lick it and drool…. but one of the cats liked to crunch the little discs so from then on he only got the sawdust bags. It is very hard to find, but if they can find it for you, I promise you a real treat. Enjoy.

  11. Yow Brother Oliver me not likin da sound of diz….Mum sayz Valerian iz used fer Hu’manz to sleep….bee carefull….me iz wurried fer all of ya….
    Nylablue xo

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