I Didn’t Feel A Thing

People and fur people who like The Leader Otis,

It’s Thomas. Last night, after I came down from Kitty Valhalla, I found The Brothers and Leader Otis laying around in the living room. They were giggling, but I didn’t see anything that was funny. I asked what was going on, and Brother Oliver said that the Guardians had put some very potent catnip in the Leader’s Outdoor Domain and that he, The Leader and Brother Henry had just eaten some of it. He said there was more out there if I wanted to check it out. I decided that maybe I should check it out, and I headed out the door to find out what all the fuss was about. I found the nip sprinkled in the bottom of a box.

Thomas investigating catnip

Everyone was giggling in the living room. I decided to check out the catnip they had tried.

I ate a few bites of the nip, but it didn’t taste much different than any other catnip I have had.

Thomas investigating catnip 2

The catnip tasted normal to me.

I sat down and tried to concentrate on what I was feeling. Nothing. Everything felt normal. Why did everyone seem to be so excited about this catnip?

Thomas waiting for catnip to kick in

I didn’t feel anything after eating the catnip.

Suddenly, a purple squirrel ran up the wall of the Outdoor Domain. When he reached the top, he sprouted a little helicopter propeller from the top of his head and flew off into the night. Still wondering if I was ever going to feel anything from this catnip, I watched him disappear into the darkness trailing a a ribbon of rainbow colors behind him.

Thomas waiting for catnip to kick in 2

Since nothing was happening with the catnip, I watched a purple helicopter squirrel fly off into the night.

As I continued to sit there feeling completely normal, the ground suddenly shifted below me. I have heard Brother Oliver say that we live in an area that is prone to earthquakes, so I assumed that I was experiencing my first one. As the ground continued to shift, I lost my balance and fell over on my side.

Thomas rolling 1

The ground suddenly shifted beneath me and I fell over on my side.

Next the ground spun around in a circle. I didn’t know that could happen in an earthquake, but since my mind was completely unaffected by the catnip, I knew that must be exactly what was happening. As the ground spun, so did I.

Thomas rolling 2

The ground started to spin and I spun with it.

When the spinning finally came to a stop, something even weirder happened. Gravity seemed to reverse itself. I ended up with my legs up in the air because that way felt like down. It was such a strange feeling, especially since I was experiencing it with a completely clear head, unaffected by the catnip that was clearly not as good as The Brothers and Leader Otis had thought.

Thomas rolling 3

It was so weird that, after the spinning stopped, gravity reversed itself.

After laying there with my legs in the air for a few minutes everything started to seem very amusing to me. I’m not sure why, but I just started laughing. I think I was probably just so relieved that I had survived the world’s strangest earthquake  that I was reacting with relieved laughter. I continued to react with relieved laughter for approximately four hours, and then I fell asleep. When I woke up, gravity had returned to normal. I suddenly remembered the purple helicopter squirrel I had seen flying off into the night, and I got concerned that he might have crashed into the ground or something when the gravity reversed. I ran over and looked out of the Outdoor Domain, scanning for any sign of the crunchy little rodent.

Thomas looking for squirrel

I was worried about the squirrel I had seen. I tried to look for him.

Eventually I realized that when gravity had reversed itself, the purple helicopter squirrel would have actually flown off into space rather than crashing into the ground. I was puzzled for a moment, wondering why I hadn’t realized that right away. Then I figured it out. It was probably the catnip. I really don’t see why The Brothers and Leader Otis were so excited about it though if its only effect is to make you a little bit slower at seeing the obvious. I guess they really are kind of weird.

Thomas Out

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Filed under Daily Life

35 responses to “I Didn’t Feel A Thing

  1. I wish I could rub your cute fury little belly Thomas! You look so sweet when you’re enjoying the nip.

    • Rubbing my belly can be unpredictable and even dangerous, Smash. I try not to lose my stuff… but I am rarely successful. – Thomas

      • It’s cool Thomas, I understand. Not all kitties feel comfortable with a belly rub. My little guy Harvey doesn’t like belly rubs either, but he does love to have that area above his tail scratched! Is there anywhere that it is okay for the guardians to pet you?

      • I let one of the Guardians pet me every morning and every evening, but only up in my safey-safe in Kitty Valhalla. He can pet me and brush me all over my head, back, tail and sides… but no belly rubs! If he scratches the area above my tail I start to get a little bit of the “elevator butt” where my back end seems to raise up involuntarily. It feels good though. 🙂

  2. Careful Thomas – all that spinning might counteract the earth’s rotation.

  3. Chris

    I think we all need some of that ineffective and boring catnip here!

  4. ummm…..Thomas….about that nip….. 🙂

  5. Perhaps Leader Otis and Brothers Henry and Oliver are more effected by catnip than you are Thomas. It’s good you can keep your head though. Someone needs to remain clearheaded in the event of flying purple helicopter squirrels. We are impressed with how well you handled the earth shaking events yesterday. So many kitties would have panicked. The Cult of Otis is lucky to have you.
    Mistletoe & Hitch

  6. emilykarn

    I think that catnip worked just fine. What a wild trip Thomas. Can you send some of that nip our way? Bandit, Selleck, and Their Person, Emily.

  7. Thomas! It’s a good thing you were there while the brothers succumbed to the effects of catnip. Always vigilant.

    Also, I’d love to rub your furry tummy.

  8. HAHA! That is hilarious! I think I may try some of that on my Snickers. He acts nuts without it so it should prove interesting.

  9. 2 cats

    Thomas you are one cool crazy cat

  10. Pardon me.. cover your ears please.. SQUEEEEEEE!! Look at that belly! and that fluffy tail! And those big wide eyes! SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!
    Ahem, ok, all clear now. Thomas, you need a kiss right between your perky ears. Do you think that while you’re on the nip, I mean, feeling the effects of reversed gravity, that someone might be able to slip in and plant that kiss??

  11. Haha! We think you DID feel something, Thomas. 😉

  12. ROFWM!!! Brother Thomas dat shure waz sum fantabuluss catnip dere…..it might even be better den me catnip!!!!! You made me n Mum laff n laff…..den me said ”Mum Thomas iz far too handsum to laff at!” N we decied it waz a bad earthquake or sumfing dat happined to ya!!!
    Can me try sum of dat nip??
    Lub Nylablue xo

  13. Hooly dooly Thomas..that must have been some nip-trip you were on…your eyes are like dinnerplates hehehehe …but of course it could all have been a mirage…..perhaps a dream….perhaps moon madness…;)

  14. Oh Thomas.. that sounds like quite the experience. Poor thing.

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