Brother Oliver’s Blowout

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here. Brother Oliver will deny this, but I swear it is the truth. While the Guardians are giving Leader Otis His daily medications, they reward Him with freeze-dried chicken treats to make the process more tolerable for Him. You see, He hates taking oral meds, but a chicken chaser makes everything OK. Now, Brother Oliver is not on meds, but he seems to think he should still get all the chicken treats he wants. He doesn’t even ask, he just ducks in and steals them whenever he can. Nevermind that the Guardians have been very generous, and they always give us a few treats when they are medicating The Leader. Nope, Brother Oliver wants them all.

The other day he overdid it though. He stole so many chicken treats that his digestive system couldn’t handle it. This led to a litter box blowout that left Brother Oliver’s butt and legs… shall we say… soiled. It was really stinky too, so I wasn’t at all surprised when I saw that the Guardians wore special gear to clean him up.

Oliver smelly pants 1

Brother Oliver was so stinky and messy that the Guardians wore special gear to clean him up.

Brother Oliver claims that the special gear the Guardian was wearing had nothing to do with him. He says that the Guardian was working on some project in the basement work room that was creating a lot of dust. He says that the real purpose of the mask and gloves was to protect the Guardian from that dust, not from his blowout aftermath. It’s a good story, but I’m not buying it.

Oliver smelly pants 2

Brother Oliver says the protective gear has nothing to do with him. I’m not buying it.

What’s even more ridiculous is that Brother Oliver says his blowout had nothing to do with the excess chicken treats he ate. He says that he thinks somebody snuck some gluten into his food bowl. He heard on TV and the internet that everyone thinks they are allergic to gluten, so he must be too. I asked him if the Guardians should take him to The Bad Place to test him for a gluten allergy and he said, “No, no! I’m sure that’s what it is! I don’t need any test. It’s gluten. Definitely not chicken.” When I asked him what gluten was he simply said, “This conversation is over…”, and then he walked away with the faint smell of poo drifting along behind him.

So Says Brother Henry

Cult of Otis Store

Cult of Otis shirts, posters, mugs, stickers and more!






Filed under Daily Life

20 responses to “Brother Oliver’s Blowout

  1. Aw, poor Oliver. To have his dirty laundry.. or rather his dirty hindquarters, aired in public. Well, perhaps that’ll teach him to not steal more chickens than he’s intended? I didn’t know chicken could do that, was it because it was freeze dried or will any chicken do that? Because if it’s any chicken, I may have to have a conversation with Star…
    Purrs to Otis!

  2. Nothing better than big kitty hugs to compensate for litter box issues. (Molly doggedly admits, she too must be cautious with over-doing certain treats)

  3. When I was a little guy I had awful stinky pudding poops all the time…mama was very patient. it wasn’t chicken for me it was “shelter bacteria”. lots of shelter kitties have it. a visit to the bad place fixed it all up. just glad it wasn’t chicken.

    • Yeah, when Leader Otis was first swept up in The Capture, he had all kinds of wormies and things in his stomach that gave him the pudding poops too. He had to take some stinky medicine, but he got better. – Brother Henry

  4. Chris

    Brother Oliver is still very shiny and handsome!

  5. Maybe THIS will finally convince him not to eat so many snacks!

  6. Oh no! We didn’t know too many chicken treats would result in a blowout!

  7. I have a friend whose kitty does have a gluten allergy. She has to have special cat food because normal cat food has cereals in, but she does steal the other cat’s food and have smelly accidents. That first picture makes brother Oliver look really huge, the guardian must be strong to lift him! I am glad Pebble is such a small kitty 🙂

  8. *giggles* well I hope leader Otis feels better soon. Brother oliver got what he deserved I’m afraid maybe he won’t be so greedy with the chicken treats anymore.

  9. He looks like he is enjoying that hug x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s