People and fur people who like The Leader Otis,
It’s Thomas. Ummmm… this morning I was sitting at the top of the stairs in Kitty Valhalla when I heard a noise downstairs. It sounded like it was coming from the kitchen. It took me a minute or two to figure it out, but I eventually decided that it was the Guardians making their fuel. Well, they call it “coffee”, but it is clearly human fuel because it really seems to get them going in the morning. Anyway, I was pretty sure that was what I was hearing.
The more I listened though, the more the sounds coming from the kitchen started to concern me. I don’t know why, but my mind started to wander a bit and I began to wonder if someone else might be down there in the kitchen. The Leader is very vulnerable right now, and Brother Henry says that agents of the Long-feared Dog Uprising are probably aware of this. What if there were dogs down in the kitchen, brewing up a pot of some special dog fuel in preparation for an attack? AND WHAT IF THEY WERE WIENER DOGS!?
The more I listened, the more I was sure that at least six to eight wiener dogs were down there in the kitchen fueling up. Once they were fully fueled, there would be no stopping them. The best thing I could do was to retreat to a strategic location and prepare to make my final stand. If the wieners were coming for me, I was going to at least take a few of them out with me!
A few minutes passed, and then one of the Guardians appeared at the top of the steps. He had come up to give me my morning pets, and he was carrying a cup of his fuel. I guess it had been the Guardians down there all along. Feeling relieved and a little embarrassed, I came out and accepted my morning pets. I kept both ears open though. Just because it wasn’t wiener dogs that I had heard in the kitchen, that doesn’t mean they’re not out there. When the LFDU does send in their most feared ground troops, I do not plan to be caught unaware!