WMDs

My Disciples,

We were at Defcat 2 earlier because of a large, mysterious package that arrived today. I was asleep on the couch, and The Brothers were visiting the snack bowl when it arrived, so none of us got a look at who brought it. I woke up to find the huge box sitting in the middle of the living room. To be honest, I didn’t think much of it because I figured the Guardians would not have let anything dangerous come into the house, but when Brothers Henry and Oliver came back from snacking, Brother Henry shouted, “Leader Otis! Stay where you are! This package has not been cleared and for all we know, it might contain WMDs! Agent O! Quickly! Help me inspect the box!” Brother Oliver said, “WMDs?”, and Brother Henry replied, “Yes Agent O! Wieners, mastiffs and dalmations! Now get to inspecting!” They then started giving the box a thorough cat scan.

Henry and Oliver checking box 1

I didn’t think much of the box, but The Brothers seemed to think it might pose a threat.

As The Brothers thoroughly sniffed the box, Brother Henry said, “Agent O! Smell this corner! Does it smell like terrier to you?”

Henry and Oliver checking box 2

Brother Henry asked Brother Oliver to sniff the corner and tell him if it smelled like terrier.

Brother Oliver gave the corner a good sniff and said, “Oh my gosh. Agent H… I think I do smell a little terrier here.” Upon hearing this, Brother Henry shouted, “We are going to Defcat 3, I repeat, Defcat 3! We have reason to believe that this box was sent by terrierists working for the Long-feared Dog Uprising! Agent O, I am taking up position to protect The Leader. You continue to inspect the box and see if you can ascertain its contents!” Brother Henry then ran over and jumped up next to Me on the couch. Brother Oliver moved close to the box and listened intently.

Oliver checking box 1

Brother Henry came to My side to protect Me. Brother Oliver listened intently to the box.

As Brother Oliver listened, Brother Henry said, “Be careful Agent O! There could be like a hundred wiener dogs in that thing!” The thought of a hundred wiener dogs suddenly bursting out of the box terrified Me. Without even knowing it, I started hyperventilating a little bit. Brother Oliver said, “Oh my gosh! Do you hear that? I… I think I might hear someone panting…”

Oliver checking box 2

Brother Oliver said that he thought he heard panting. It might just have been Me hyperventilating though.

Upon hearing this, Brother Henry shouted, “Get out of there Agent O! I am taking us to Defcat 2! This is not a drill! We must get The Leader to safety. Agent O! Take up a defensive position on The Leader’s right flank and let’s get him out of here!” Brother Oliver responded immediately, taking up position on My right. Brother Henry covered My left flank and together they herded Me toward the kitchen. We only made it as far as the kitchen doorway though because I was hyperventilating so bad that I almost passed out.

Oliver, Otis and Henry protective formation

The Brothers took up defensive positions and herded Me out of the room. I had to lay down at the kitchen door though because I was hyperventilating.

Brothers Henry and Oliver turned back toward the living room, certain that they were about to face a devastating terrierist attack. But just as it seemed all hope was lost, one of the Guardians entered the living room, picked up the box and took it downstairs. Brother Oliver said, “Huh… well, I guess the box belongs to the Guardians then?” Brother Henry said, “So it would seem, Agent O, but we still can’t be certain. I’m going to ease us back to Defcat 4, but I think we better remain hyper-vigilant until we know for certain what is in that box.” At this point, Brother Oliver looked over at Me and said, “Uh-oh… I think one of us is already hyper-vigilantating…” He then started laughing. I started laughing too, but only because I was so lightheaded everything seemed funny at the time.

So Sayeth Otis

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18 Comments

Filed under Daily Life

18 responses to “WMDs

  1. yikes….we didn’t know you get a dog in a box through the mail. Though, we will have to say that we don’t think you could really get a mastiff in that box….weiner dogs would work though. Glad you guys are safe…..

  2. RC Cat says you can never be too careful…

  3. OMC! That was such an experience. So did you ever find out if there was a 100 weiner dogs in that box??

  4. I hope you caught your breath, Otis! Goodness, that was scary for a minute.. I hope it was something awesome in that box, not frightening!

  5. Oh my Cod, that was very suspenseful. It’s good you have the Brothers to protect you, Leader Otis. Assuming you don’t end up having a heart attack from the excitement. I’m sure we aren’t the only ones waiting to find out what’s in that box. That only interesting thing going on here is the HuMom and boy/man attacked their water-filled litter box with a strange stick and rubber ball weapon. We both agree that a strange unidentified box is MUCH more interesting.

    Remember, Leader Otis, to breathe during these very exciting events!
    Purrs to you!
    Mistletoe & Hitch
    RWB

  6. spittythekitty

    Oh Leader Otis, Such a close call! It is good that the Brothers are so alert to possible incursions into Your territory.

    You know, if there were 100 Weiner Dogs in that box, there might even have been 100 guns, uh, BUNS, I mean Buns, in there too. You really dodged a bullet, uh, pullet, uh, something, there, Buddy.

  7. Hmmm interesting *takes notes for use later*

  8. Thank Cod the Guardians were responsible for that box….but how did that terrierest scent get on the outside?? You must remain vigilant…no matter what is in that box, their was a scent outside…are the Guardians keeping something from you??…just a thought…paw salutes Leader O, Savannah

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