We were at Defcat 2 earlier because of a large, mysterious package that arrived today. I was asleep on the couch, and The Brothers were visiting the snack bowl when it arrived, so none of us got a look at who brought it. I woke up to find the huge box sitting in the middle of the living room. To be honest, I didn’t think much of it because I figured the Guardians would not have let anything dangerous come into the house, but when Brothers Henry and Oliver came back from snacking, Brother Henry shouted, “Leader Otis! Stay where you are! This package has not been cleared and for all we know, it might contain WMDs! Agent O! Quickly! Help me inspect the box!” Brother Oliver said, “WMDs?”, and Brother Henry replied, “Yes Agent O! Wieners, mastiffs and dalmations! Now get to inspecting!” They then started giving the box a thorough cat scan.
As The Brothers thoroughly sniffed the box, Brother Henry said, “Agent O! Smell this corner! Does it smell like terrier to you?”
Brother Oliver gave the corner a good sniff and said, “Oh my gosh. Agent H… I think I do smell a little terrier here.” Upon hearing this, Brother Henry shouted, “We are going to Defcat 3, I repeat, Defcat 3! We have reason to believe that this box was sent by terrierists working for the Long-feared Dog Uprising! Agent O, I am taking up position to protect The Leader. You continue to inspect the box and see if you can ascertain its contents!” Brother Henry then ran over and jumped up next to Me on the couch. Brother Oliver moved close to the box and listened intently.
As Brother Oliver listened, Brother Henry said, “Be careful Agent O! There could be like a hundred wiener dogs in that thing!” The thought of a hundred wiener dogs suddenly bursting out of the box terrified Me. Without even knowing it, I started hyperventilating a little bit. Brother Oliver said, “Oh my gosh! Do you hear that? I… I think I might hear someone panting…”
Upon hearing this, Brother Henry shouted, “Get out of there Agent O! I am taking us to Defcat 2! This is not a drill! We must get The Leader to safety. Agent O! Take up a defensive position on The Leader’s right flank and let’s get him out of here!” Brother Oliver responded immediately, taking up position on My right. Brother Henry covered My left flank and together they herded Me toward the kitchen. We only made it as far as the kitchen doorway though because I was hyperventilating so bad that I almost passed out.
Brothers Henry and Oliver turned back toward the living room, certain that they were about to face a devastating terrierist attack. But just as it seemed all hope was lost, one of the Guardians entered the living room, picked up the box and took it downstairs. Brother Oliver said, “Huh… well, I guess the box belongs to the Guardians then?” Brother Henry said, “So it would seem, Agent O, but we still can’t be certain. I’m going to ease us back to Defcat 4, but I think we better remain hyper-vigilant until we know for certain what is in that box.” At this point, Brother Oliver looked over at Me and said, “Uh-oh… I think one of us is already hyper-vigilantating…” He then started laughing. I started laughing too, but only because I was so lightheaded everything seemed funny at the time.
So Sayeth Otis