A Mental Crow Crunching

My Disciples,

This morning I walked into the living room to find Brother Henry sitting on top of the cat tree with a look of intense focus on his face. He was looking at something out in the yard, and he seemed completely oblivious to My presence.

Henry sees a crow 1

Brother Henry was intensely focused on something in the yard.

I approached the cat tree and shouted, “Hey! Brother H! What are you doing?”, and he replied, “SHHHHHHH! Leader Otis, please keep it down! I am crunching this crow!” Lowering My voice, I whispered, “What crow?“, and Brother Henry said, “That crow out there in the yard. Don’t you see it?

I looked out the window, and I did see a crow walking around in the Guardians garden patch. The crow looked distinctly uncrunched though. I asked Brother Henry how he could possibly be crunching the crow when the crow was at least 20 feet away and on the opposite side of the glass. Brother Henry said, “I’m crunching him with my mind.”

Henry sees a crow 2

Brother Henry said he was crunching the crow with his mind. The crow still seemed uncrunched to me.

I sat there for a few seconds, looking from the crow, to Brother Henry and then back to the crow. Brother Henry remained focused, but the crow continued about his business without the slightest indication that he was being crunched. Eventually, the crow found some tasty tidbit and flew off. After watching the bird leave, Brother Henry turned to Me and said, “That’ll teach him!”, and then he jumped down off the cat tree and sauntered off to the food bowl.

When I looked out the window again, I saw that crow had returned. How silly of Brother Henry to think that he could have mentally crunched the crow. Everyone knows there’s only one way to to take care of those insolent birds, and that’s with the Kitty Mouth Machine Gun. I turned My focus on the bird, and did what Brother Henry should have done, “Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!” As the crow took off again I knew that My kitty machine gunning had been successful.

So Sayeth Otis

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Filed under Daily Life

13 responses to “A Mental Crow Crunching

  1. Silly Brother Henry! Of COURSE you gotta use your “ack-ack”! Everykitty knows that.

  2. theislandcats

    Yep, crows need to be mouth machine gun down, not crunched. 😉

  3. We are relieved to know that we follow the same procedure as you, Leader Otis. Mornings the birds are quite loud on our front porch. It is one of the rare times Hitch and I combine forces to use our Kitty Mouth Machine Gun. Those birds don’t know what’s hitting them. Really, they have no idea. We are very proud of our stealth. Have a very Happy New Year. Oh heavens, Hitch want me to say, “See you next year!” He’s so childish.
    Purrs to you,
    Mistletoe & Hitch

  4. I do the ack-ack thing when the pigeons are on the balcony but I don’t when the hawk is there. He is bigger than me!

  5. MOL, I know that kitty machine gun! Leo does it too! Smart Otis, you know how to get things done!

  6. You have such green bushes still! Where I live, all the leaves were frozen off months ago, leaving no place for defenseless little birds to hide.

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