Disciples of Otis,
Brother Oliver here. It is now the day before Leader Otis goes back to The Bad Place for His first post-Hipsterectomy checkup. It is also (hopefully) the last day that He is supposed to limit His activity. As you are probably aware, getting Him to limit His activity has been a bit of a challenge, so we decided to declare today “Sit Still Sunday” in the hopes that it would convince The Leader to do just that.
The Guardians have been very helpful in our efforts to get Leader Otis to stay still. For instance, knowing that The Leader loves shinies, they went out and found a magic mat that creates shinies whenever Leader Otis bats at it. The mat has fireflies on it, and when it is jostled even a little bit the firefly butts light up in a crazy pattern.
Because the mat is fairly small, and the flashes are all confined to the mat, Leader Otis does not run around chasing these shinies. Instead, He just lays down and watches them, periodically batting at them and reactivating the mat.
The Guardians also give The Leader toys that are too big to bat and chase, but that are perfect snuggling size. One such toy is a squirrel with a big, fluffy tail.
For some reason, The Leader really likes that fluffy tail on the squirrel. Actually, He likes all kinds of fluffy tails so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. Unlike other fluffy tail owners, this squirrel doesn’t get upset when his tail is snuggled.
So hopefully we’ll make it through today without a lot of movement from The Leader. We always have the catnip banana to fall back on, but we’d rather not have Him hungover when he goes back to The Bad Place in the morning. Wish us luck!
So Sayeth Brother Oliver