Disciples of Otis,
Brother Oliver here. The Guardians brought The Leader upstairs to the living room this morning, and it looks like the banana catnip has finally worn off. I entered the Living room to find Leader Otis laying on his back and groaning loudly. He said, “Brother Henry…I… I think I must be dying…”
I assured The Leader that He was not, in fact, dying. I told Him he really just needed to drink a lot of water and take it easy today. Without saying another word, He walked over to His water bowl and began to drink.
After He had drank His fill, The Leader laid down next to the bowl and began to groan softly. He looked pretty miserable.
Eventually, Leader Otis got up and walked slowly across the room. When He arrived that the posing bench, He sat down next to it. He seemed OK for a second, then He let out a little burp and said, “Oh man… I think I might hurl a hairball…”
Fortunately, He didn’t hurl a hairball, but He did keel over with an audible thud on the floor next to the posing bench. I told Brother Henry to go check on Him. Brother Henry sniffed The Leader and said, “Well, the banana nip is no longer on his breath, but I can’t say that He smells good. I’m pretty sure He’s not dying though.”
Leader Otis seemed somewhat relieved by this information, not the part about Him stinking, but the part about Him not currently dying. He laid down with His head on the posing bench. Feeling a little guilty that we had intentionally nannered Him up, I joined The Leader to see if I could be of comfort.
We shared each other’s company in silence for some time, and then Leader Otis said, “Brother Oliver? Have you seen My banana?” I shared a quick glance with Brother Henry who was sitting nearby. Brother Henry understood immediately and bolted out of the room to find and hide the catnip banana. From listening to the Guardians, I know that in just two more days Leader Otis is going back to The Bad Place for a checkup. If all goes well, He will be allowed to exercise all he wants after that. The last thing we want is for Him to be all nipped up when that day comes.
I didn’t tell The Leader any of this, of course. The threat of an impending Bad Place visit would only make Him want the banana even more. So I responded to His question by saying, “Ummmm… I think you ate the banana, Leader Otis…” He thought about that for a moment and said, “Huh… I wonder if that’s why I’m so nauseous…”
So Sayeth Brother Oliver