Disciples of Otis,
Brother Oliver here. As I mentioned on Sunday, I overheard the Guardians talking about Leader Otis’s surgery, and they had decided on a date. I didn’t want to tell The Leader right away because He was hurting very badly and I didn’t want Him to also be worrying about His pending visit to The Bad Place. This morning Brother Henry convinced me that it was time to fill Leader Otis in so He could prepare Himself. I called The Leader into the living room and had Him meet me at the posing bench. Brother Henry stayed close by, both to provide security and to offer extra emotional support if needed.
As soon as The Leader was comfortable I told Him that I had heard The Guardians say that He was going to have surgery on November 26. Leader Otis paused for a moment and then he said, “Tell me exactly what they said.” I replied, “One Guardian told the other that Otis’s FHO would happen on November 26.” Leader Otis paused again and then said, “F-H-O… how do you know that means surgery? I thought I was going to have a Hipsterectomy…” I answered, “Yes, Leader Otis, you are having a Hipsterectomy. I have deduced that FHO is short for ‘Full Hipsterectomy Operation’.” The Leader then sat silently for a long time with a strained look on his face.
Eventually, Leader Otis said, “Are you sure that’s what FHO means? Does it really mean surgery? Couldn’t it just mean something like ‘For Helping Ouchiness’? You know, like maybe just something they put on My ouchy leg here at home to make it better? Then I wouldn’t have to go to The Bad Place! Please, Brother Oliver, I really don’t want to go to The Bad Place!” He then began to whimper softly as He snuggled up against me.
I did my best to comfort The Leader. He’s been dealing with hip pain for so long right now that I think He is emotionally spent and having trouble coping with this added bit of stress. I’d be lying if I said that Brother Henry and I weren’t worried about Him as well, but we have faith in the Guardians and know they will do everything in their power to help The Leader heal.
Eventually Leader Otis calmed down and settled in on the couch for a nap. I know some rough days are ahead, but Brother Henry and I will be here for him. In fact, to show my support, I have vowed not to play any practical jokes on Leader Otis until He has fully recovered from His Hipsterectomy. I hope He heals quickly!
So Sayeth Brother Oliver